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Old 10-21-2015, 04:10 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,410,826 times
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The only thing directly related to the interaction with minors that is sketchy here is the adult giving advice without the parents consent or knowledge.

It's an easily manipulated situation and one that can put the husband in a position to be judged of anything ever comes out of his interactions with the teenager.

Last edited by rego00123; 10-21-2015 at 04:19 PM..
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Old 10-21-2015, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,355 posts, read 34,476,580 times
Reputation: 73381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
This thread is a good demonstration of the lynch mob mentality. So far, the husband has done nothing illegal or even immoral.
Possibly even trying to be helpful and supportive.
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Old 10-21-2015, 06:08 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,602,185 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Wow!

The girls message him once ever 6 month to a year!! He is a counselor!!!

Let's hang every adult that tries to help a young person out. Aww heck, let's jail any adult who says hi to a minor or tries to give a minor candy!!!

Well, let's wait till AFTER Halloween.
I hear you. Really if you put it in perspective with the frequency stated, this whole thing is being blown out of proportion.

You get the impression from reading the initial post that the guy is hanging on facebook a good bit conversing back and forth with the kids.

But once or twice a year, being a counselor, people need to lighten up I think.

I agree that it's a good idea for the counselor to for his own protection let the kids know that they should talk about things with someone else present for the reasons noted and not exchange much on facebook.
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Old 10-21-2015, 06:18 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,191,437 times
Reputation: 15313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
This thread is a good demonstration of the lynch mob mentality. So far, the husband has done nothing illegal or even immoral.
And a clear demonstration of WHY he needs to cover his ass: the reactions of internet randos is nothing compared to the potential reactions of people he knows in real life. Often times it is the ones who truly have good motives who end up hurt by rumors, and all it takes is for one person to twist it into something pervy. It's not fair, but it is reality.
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Old 10-21-2015, 06:29 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,074 posts, read 107,051,957 times
Reputation: 115868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowed08 View Post
I have an issue with my husband that he doesn't seem to care about. I've caught him chatting with several young girls on Facebook These girls are, at the oldest, 16 years old. When I met him he was very active in his church. He's a youth advisor and sunday school teacher among other positions and the class he teaches is the teenage group, 13 - 18. My issue is that a few times I've walked into the bedroom and he'll have his Facebook chat window open and he'll be in a conversation with one of these little girls from church. I told him he needed to stop that because it didn't look good for a 40-something year old male to be chatting with a 15 or 16 year old girl on Facebook. He said there's nothing going on between them and he likes to keep in touch with them. It seems that when ever there's an event in our church and they break up the kids into groups he usually ends up with this same age group. I've never spoken to these girls but they are the "fast tailed" girls from the low income housing projects.

This morning when I walked into the room from taking my shower I noticed his chat session open and he had a slight smile on his face. I questioned him about it and his response was this, "well, since you aren't going to wait on me to tell you, Jessica (Fake Name) sent me a message wanting us to come to her homecoming game this coming friday because she's running for homecoming queen." At that point I thought he was talking about one of those little girls from church and I sort of went off. I told him that he needed to stop talking to those little girls. He then looks at me and says, "What?" At that point I thought about the name he told me and felt bad. The girl he was talking about was the daughter of a lifelong friend of my husband who passed away a few years ago. She had two daughters that my husband and quite a few members of our church really care for. She's a sweet girl and wanted us to come to the homecoming game and support her.

However, my husband chatting to these other girls is a bit much for me. He says that as a youth advisor it's his job to keep in touch with these kids. He's just as friendly with the young guys too but I've never seen him chatting with them on Facebook. Am I wrong to think that if it got out that he was chatting like this someone would begin to think something was up? He doesn't chat often but it seemed to be an issue several years ago. Most of the time he'll go up to them in church and always be in constant conversations with them. I think a grown man needs to limit his conversations in an open setting like a church with young adolescent girls. Am I wrong?
Ask him if he chats with the young guys on FB, as well, and if not, why not. I doubt that part of his job is to stay in touch with the kids via social media. You could always ask whoever is in charge of youth activities at the church. HS teachers generally aren't supposed to contact their students via social media; I don't know why it would be ok for Sunday school teachers or church youth group leaders to do that as a routine thing.
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Old 10-21-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,626,227 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post

I doubt that part of his job is to stay in touch with the kids via social media.
Agreed. Checking in every once in a while via group text is one thing, but "keeping in touch" doesn't have to mean regular chat sessions.
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