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Well remember, only about 30% of Americans have 4 year degrees.
And if you're educated and in a high pressure and demand industry (though lots of people in those love their jobs, I have friends at PwC that adore their work), you probably have the ability and options to pursue something that you like more.
I am so lucky. A few years ago I was able to pursue a job I've wanted since I was a child. Yeah, I had to take a big compensation cut, but I'm happier.
That's where I'm at... I am actually jobless right now as I quit my job a month ago because I couldn't take the pressure anymore, 23 yrs was enough... I made good money for my age and education level, very good, actually....... but it comes with a price....
Looking to get into an shoot off of that same industry and I expect to probably take a 30 percent pay cut... we'll see how that goes...
I don't know that it's fair to call them lazy. They were raised in households where the mom stayed home, the dad worked. That's just what they knew. Women weren't supposed to have their own dreams beyond having babies.
This isn't about "then" it's about now.
Their wasn't much of an option for many then becuase the reality of raising and raring did not allow for much give in any direction.
let's not also not act like this was all put on people and they went in to it kicking and screaming. That lifestyle reflected the lives that had to be lead at that point in time, nobody was upset to take care of their homes and families, It was their choice to do so and a reflection of the way was and the values during those times.
house work and raising a child has gotten dramatically easier in the last two decades. No longer are we solely reliant on doing every small task of chore that would occupy all of our time. We have conveniences that has given us all the options to choose to not handle the mundane and focus only on what we deam as essentials. We have schoolers for our children, markets for our ready made food, appliances to aid our workload with in an instant...
It's easier than ever to do more with your time if you are willing to put the effort in.
Yet we still have people sitting around on their butts like life is just going to hand them the magic ticket to fulfillment and self reward. We act like this is the reality of the circumstance we put ourselves in, but it's nothing more than making excuses for why you can't or don't want to do these things in addition to your other responcibiltes in life.
SAHP is not suppose to be easy. It's hard, it stressful and it's a constant struggle to maintain your home vs your needs as an indivual. This fact has never changed.
The only things that have changed are the things that surround it and the apparent feeling like its the cooshiest thing anyone could do and what a death march it is for those who choose to take it on.
It's gotten much easier to pursue anything you could imagine wanting to do now, but at the same time that has also given us the ability to be equally as lazy if that is what we choose to do with the benefits modern living has afforded us.
It's personal choice, not the situation that is the cause of this.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-21-2015 at 01:12 PM..
Their wasn't much of an option for many then becuase the reality of raising and raring did not allow for much give in any direction.
let's not also not act like this was all put on people and they went in to it kicking and screaming. That lifestyle reflected the loves that had to be lead at that point in time, nobody was upset to take care of their homes and families, It was their choice to do so
house work and raising a child has gotten dramatically easier in the last two decades. No longer are we solely reliant on doing every small task of chore that would occupy all of our time. We have conveniences that has given us all the options to choose to not handle the mundane and focus only on what we deam as essentials. We have schoolers for our children, markets for our ready made food, appliances to aid our workload with.
It's easier than ever to do more with your time if you are willing to put the effort in.
Yet we still have people sitting around on their butts like life is just going to hand them the magic ticket to fulfillment and self reward. We act like this is the reality of the circumstance we put ourselves in, but it's nothing more than making excuses for why you can't or don't want to do these things in addition to your other responcibiltes in life.
SAHP is not suppose to be easy. It's hard, it stressful and it's a constant struggle to maintain your home vs your needs as an indivual. This fact has never changed.
The only things that have changed are the things that surround it and the apparent feeling like its the cooshiest thing anyone could do and what a death march it is for those who choose to take it on.
I do agree with that last part. I'm so sick of people posting Facebook memes about how being a SAH is the "hardest job in the world." I'm not saying it's not important or that their choice wasn't in the best interest of their family, but some people expect a medal for doing it.
Life is life. You don't get a medal for living it.
(I'm not so sure about the "two decades" part though. Housework has been considerably easier since at least the 70s)
I do agree with that last part. I'm so sick of people posting Facebook memes about how being a SAH is the "hardest job in the world." I'm not saying it's not important or that their choice wasn't in the best interest of their family, but some people expect a medal for doing it.
Life is life. You don't get a medal for living it.
(I'm not so sure about the "two decades" part though. Housework has been considerably easier since at least the 70s)
I was picking a conservative number since the rabbit hole can keep going and quickly lose the point in the trivial and assumed
I haven't been around to live them as parent so I won't speak to much towards them.
For the ladies out there, would you be in to having a relationship with a man who wanted an old school relationship where:
You stayed home, or volunteered
You did all of the housework, laundry, etc.
You cooked the meals, set and cleared the table, etc.
Took the old fashioned "woman behind the man" role
Assuming that the man took full responsibility providing financially, you were attracted to him, and he was affectionate and loving, etc. Do you think you could be happy in that type of relationship?
Sounds like my marriage and yes, it was as happy as can be at the time.
Women can be perfectly content and fulfilled in this sort of relationship BUT
it tends to fall apart when the Youngest Child goes to school.
Because then the Mother loses most of her role. And if you're anything like me, it wasn't when he was 5 it was when he was 3 because that's when they first start separating from you, doing things for themselves etc.
I've been a SAHP going on 11 years this December. I have four kids, three in school, and while I find it immensely rewarding, at times exhausting, I wouldn't describe it as "hard" in terms of laborious work. It can wear you thin mentally and emotionally depending on the ages/stages and individual child's temperament. No doubt there are "harder" jobs out there, and I recognize everyone has their own aptitude for any given job, and that SAH for some can be very challenging.
I tend to be very laid back, and my personality, being very introverted, I don't require constant outside interaction. I'm fine getting my adult interaction via online forums and groups. I've spent over a decade actively participating on forums because it provides a great outlet when my days are filled with kid-stuff, but there are times I miss the work force life, but not enough to go back until my youngest is in school, and not until I finish grad school.
For the ladies out there, would you be in to having a relationship with a man who wanted an old school relationship where:
You stayed home, or volunteered
You did all of the housework, laundry, etc.
You cooked the meals, set and cleared the table, etc.
Took the old fashioned "woman behind the man" role
Assuming that the man took full responsibility providing financially, you were attracted to him, and he was affectionate and loving, etc. Do you think you could be happy in that type of relationship?
Nope. I am too accustomed to supporting myself and making my own decisions. I'd rather pay a cleaning service than spend my time trying to maintain a home to someone else's standards. (FWIW, I have a BF that is a horrible "housekeeper". I like a clean home and it irks me to no end that I have to clean crap at his house too.) If you can't help our in the cleaning dept.then you need to chip in for a maid.
Still, I wouldn't stand for my husband sitting on his ass watching Star Trek while I cleaned up after just cooking a huge meal. No way. Get off your butt and come dry the dishes, lazy.
Hmmmm... I see all of this so very differently. For one thing, I'd have a dishwasher.
For another, if I were to accept this "traditional" arrangement, along with the pre-nup guaranteeing me goodies in the event that we split up, the kitchen I'd be slaving away in would have to look like this: Dream Kitchen
Or at least like this, to be a little more realistic: Dream Kitchen 2
Hey, if he wants a Stepford Wife, we need to have a Stepford home.
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