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It's a comfort thing for you. You do not want to be put out of your comfort zone. It changes too much of what you know and habits you have formed.
For her it's most likely your own lack of willingness to even try. It's personal to her since you won't compromise for what she wants from you.
If she is saying this is a deal breaker for herself, then yes it's a deal breaker.
Compromise and spend a night or two a week. Your home isn't going to implode if you are not their to sleep in it and you can easily work bringing a few things you need for the next day to her location.
It will be concerning for her becuase it is showing her your over all lack of personal flexibility, an over all unwillingness to adapt to changes.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-21-2015 at 03:39 PM..
Does she ever sleep over at your house? If so, time for you to compromise and go to her house, too. If she doesn't ever sleep at your house, then don't worry about it.
There is something to be said for waking up next to the person you love, though.
I am with the OP on this. I sleep way better in my own bed. And I have a lot of stuff I need to take care of at my house...and the gym thing is completely valid. And certainly her son...jeez I never had a man sleep over if my son was at home, at that age!! Shame on her for having so little consideration of her son!! That's really a terrible reflection on her.
If I were you, and she told me this was a deal breaker, I can assure you I would let that deal be broken.
I agree 100%. Your reasons are not excuses, they are legit.
She is a grown up, and should be able to deal.
It may be that it is possible for you two to communicate better about this issue.
Can Baby-Daddy step up a little more and keep Junior more often so she can sleep at YOUR place?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
I think spending the night with someone is important, too. It might be a deal breaker if you can't reach a compromise.
Indeed. I find it critical to building a bond. Falling asleep together, holding, waking up together... without them I can't imagine ever having attachment build.
I do understand the hurdles here, but the issue is real.
I think lots of your arguments are weak.
The first question you need to ask is why are you not willing to do the effort to make it work?
What she asks is totally normal!
A relationship is something you need to work on. You only slept twice together in a year? That's not normal in my opinion. She got a valid point there. If you are not willing to do the effort to grow your relationship, then you should ask yourself if you love her enough.
This has nothing to do with being needy. I think a healthy relationship is about growing towards eachother. In my opinion some of your arguments are BS. You need to step up your game a little or ask yourself if you love her enough.
- change your routine (I suppose you don't go to the gym or do chores at home every day? Or if you do then try to schedule so you can arrange one night a week with her..)
- buy a better bed together (Sleeping problem solved!)
- prepare your gym bag the night before
- learn your dogs to be alone at night or take them with you (Your dogs should be as important as your girlfriend, but not more important)
- I understand your point about her kid. There are probably times her kid can stay with his father or is staying over at friends? You need to arrange these things. She will do the effort to arrange this if you do atleast a tiny bit of effort. This is your only valid point in my opinion.
You also see it too black and white.. staying over twice in a year is nothing. Why not stay over maybe once a week during the weekend to start with? It doesn't mean you have to semi move in with her?
Do some effort. You are supposed to do that in a relationship.
I think you don't feel the need to sleep over.. which makes me conclude that you are not that much into her. And I guess that is what she is thinking. Set your priorities!
Last edited by Effort007; 02-04-2017 at 08:45 PM..
I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs. I don't know. I could barely read your post. Try using spaces and paragraphs.
OP agreed to just show her what you posted here, but maybe separate it out so she can read it better.
This thread is 15 months old. Why would anyone dig it up now?
You beat me to it. The OP is long gone.
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