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My girlfriend of 1 year is upset I won't sleepover a lot. I don't sleep well in other beds/places. She thinks I'm not comfortable with her and I make dumb excuses. I live in a house with a buddy of mine, have a full time job I need sleep for and I workout every morning. I usually don't sleep well to start with. I can't afford to loose sleep bc I work in the medical field dealing with people's medications. I have 3 high energy dogs that get depressed when I'm not home for a long time. She has a six year old son so it's easier for me to sleep over her house. I have slept over on a vacation and 1 night at her house. Slept ok but her bed is uncomfortable compared to mine makes my body ache a little. I also don't want her son thinking I'm going to be sleeping there every night. She keeps saying I have dumb excuses and the sleeping over thing could be a deal breaker. I didn't know sleeping over without living together, being engaged or married would be such a big deal 'breaker'. I do want to sleep over but I feel I'm expected to forget or put aside my responsibilities and sleep over whenever she wants. I have stuff to get ready for gym and work in the morning. So I'd have to get up super early to go to my house to get ready. I'm not ready to semi-move in with her. I know it's been a year but I just have too many responsibilities at my house. I have no landlord who fixes everything that's broken in my house like she does. We do spend a lot of time together and I'm over passed midnight a lot and I do put a lot of stuff aside (that has to eventually be done)to spend time with her.Everything else in relationship is fine but she puts a lot of pressure on me about this. I understand a lot of couples in a relationship sleep over a lot if not almost every night but I just have a lot going on to just sleep over without kind of planning it. I've told her I will more in the future but she doesn't think I will and really stresses me out about it. I've tried explaining it to her but she calls BS excuses on everything I say. I've told her she is the center of my universe but there are other things in my universe I have responsibilities for. Is this really going to be a 'deal breaker' as she puts it?
If she breaks it off then it's her loss. A single mom wanting a guy sleeping over while her son is there is kind of confusing for her kid. I agree with you on that.
This is just the beginning. She doesn't sound supportive.
If she breaks it off then it's her loss. A single mom wanting a guy sleeping over while her son is there is kind of confusing for her kid. I agree with you on that.
This is just the beginning. She doesn't sound supportive.
Well, they have been together a year.
I don't think her point of view is fair, though, OP. I don't sleep well in strange places either. I totally get where you are coming from.
If it's a deal breaker for her, maybe you should let it be one.
If she breaks it off then it's her loss. A single mom wanting a guy sleeping over while her son is there is kind of confusing for her kid. I agree with you on that.
This is just the beginning. She doesn't sound supportive.
oh come on ...
I understand the dog excuse.
But the gym .. and uncomfy bed (get her a better one!) ... nope.
Don't worry, she will find someone who will sleep over! Problem solved!
Aw, that's not cool!
OP, if you REALLY mean it, just tell her this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ljf97
... she is the center of my universe but there are other things in my universe I have responsibilities for.
... and ask her to have some consideration for YOUR feelings, too.
I honestly would not just give in because as you know a lack of sleep CAN ruin your health. I also think you're wise to keep her son in mind because he DOES matter. Hopefully she will be reasonable.
I am with the OP on this. I sleep way better in my own bed. And I have a lot of stuff I need to take care of at my house...and the gym thing is completely valid. And certainly her son...jeez I never had a man sleep over if my son was at home, at that age!! Shame on her for having so little consideration of her son!! That's really a terrible reflection on her.
If I were you, and she told me this was a deal breaker, I can assure you I would let that deal be broken.
She actually wants another body to keep her warm if possible....son or no son.
Edit: Just occurred to me. She may be thinking of something else other then the SEX. She does not want it every night but wants the feeling of a warm relationship that many married couples have.
A widowed person knows what I am saying here.
She may be a single mom but no mention how that came about.
Last edited by Steve Bagu; 10-21-2015 at 02:33 PM..
Reason: additional thinking added
Show her your post. I think you explained it all pretty well.
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