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Question to the women that are saying it was wrong: Have you ever been beaten/raped or sexually assaulted by a man? If so, or even if you haven't even if the man were arrested but got away with it and was still capable of holding his head high you'd just accept you won't be getting any justice of any kind? Of course I could see how men would be against this but it is amazing to me women would rather be assaulted, the guy get off and just accept it then to see the guy pays a price for it.
My first boyfriend punched me in the face. I filed charges, but because I couldn't keep the no contact rule, they were dropped. He had a previous domestic violence charge and was on probation the whole time we were dating. I didn't know.
You know what I did? I moved on. Once I got it in my head he was a bad guy. I stayed away. I avoided him. Life was fine.
What you are doing is ruining your credibility. If you go to trial this will come out. And he has grounds for a deformation counter suite. ANd here is all his proof.
My first boyfriend punched me in the face. I filed charges, but because I couldn't keep the no contact rule, they were dropped. He had a previous domestic violence charge and was on probation the whole time we were dating. I didn't know.
You know what I did? I moved on. Once I got it in my head he was a bad guy. I stayed away. I avoided him. Life was fine.
What you are doing is ruining your credibility. If you go to trial this will come out. And he has grounds for a deformation counter suite. ANd here is all his proof.
Well first off did it not bother you at all that he had previous domestic violence charges but was still out of a cell? Sure you may not have known at the time but do you not think it backwards he was only on probation? There won't ever be any trial so credibility is irrelevant, his whole life has been pretty much torn to shreds forcing him to move and that is far better than what any "trial" could accomplish.
And just how many women end up being beaten/raped/killed while this "due process" happens? When the police come only to find a woman with serious injuries and the guy is caught red handed everyone knows the chance of the guy coming back to do more harm is VERY great. I don't care about due process when it comes to abusers, I think a woman being safe from an abuser is far greater then "due process".
So long as this guy's life is ruined that's all that matters to me. I bet he'll think twice before hitting another woman, don't you think? If not, hopefully he'll do every woman a favor and jump off a bridge.
Question to the women that are saying it was wrong: Have you ever been beaten/raped or sexually assaulted by a man? If so, or even if you haven't even if the man were arrested but got away with it and was still capable of holding his head high you'd just accept you won't be getting any justice of any kind? Of course I could see how men would be against this but it is amazing to me women would rather be assaulted, the guy get off and just accept it then to see the guy pays a price for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julez28
To those here perhaps but not anyone else. So women, even you think no matter how bad a man abuses a woman he should still have a chance at a life? How many men out there have greatly abused women to the point of PTSD but have great careers and a great life today? You think that's okay?
Of course as I am sure you've noticed I am very much an "ends justify the means" type person. If someone hurts someone else and they aren't punished due to technicalities or due to or whatever reason then I do believe it is acceptable to MAKE SURE they pay the price they deserved. He abused me for a long time, why DOESN'T a man that hurts women deserve to be cast out of society? And again, why is that a man that people think is racist looked down upon more than a man that abuses women?? WHY???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julez28
When people deserve punishment I don't give a damn about morals and ethics. They are all arbitrary anyway. So what if by others standards I "stooped down to his level"? I don't care if I have to get on my knees, so long as he suffers that's all that matters to me. Not just for me but for all the other women that have been abused only to be laughed in their faces by our justice system by giving paltry sentences or even getting in trouble for it at all.
i am sure that you are proud of yourself for doing what you did, i hope however that your conscience starts working on you, and you start having trouble sleeping, keeping a job, keeping a relationship, until you repent of your sins.
i grant that the justice system has its problems, you complain that he was let off easy, but did you contact the DA handling the case? did you ask them why they dropped the charges, or even if they dropped the charges? if you didnt get a satisfactory answer, did you go to their boss and complain?
in the end you will have to answer for what you have done, and so will he. now had you gone to his employer and his friends and told them the truth about what he did to you, and the same things happened to him, then i would have no issue, karma being a ***** and all. but you LIED to get what you wanted, him being punished. now guess what, if you go into court later on the domestic violence charges against him, chances are good that they may end up being dropped BECAUSE YOU LIED ABOUT HIM AND HIS ACTIVITIES, which would ruin your credibility as a witness in the case. in fact if the case against him was in fact dropped, that just may be the reason why, you lost any credibility as a witness.
Well first off did it not bother you at all that he had previous domestic violence charges but was still out of a cell? Sure you may not have known at the time but do you not think it backwards he was only on probation? There won't ever be any trial so credibility is irrelevant, his whole life has been pretty much torn to shreds forcing him to move and that is far better than what any "trial" could accomplish.
Honestly what were they going to do, lock him up forever? He's not my problem anymore and I almost never think about it. It was over 10 years ago and I've moved on to have a nice relationship. I almost feel like you are doing all this because you are so embarrassed that all this happened to you. It's a shame because I can't really have sympathy for you because this whole situation is gross.
How old are you? You come across as very young. You do realize by "ruining his life" you are also ruining yours since you are a liar. Don't be surprised if other guys don't want to get involved with you when you have a history of drama.
The problem with taking it on yourself to provide vengeance, is that such actions prolong whatever nasty feelings you have with that person, double back, then bite you on the a55.
Honestly what were they going to do, lock him up forever? He's not my problem anymore and I almost never think about it. It was over 10 years ago and I've moved on to have a nice relationship. I almost feel like you are doing all this because you are so embarrassed that all this happened to you. It's a shame because I can't really have sympathy for you because this whole situation is gross.
How old are you? You come across as very young. You do realize by "ruining his life" you are also ruining yours since you are a liar. Don't be surprised if other guys don't want to get involved with you when you have a history of drama.
Umm...Keep him locked up for at least a few years? He may not be your problem anymore but he is obviously some other unsuspecting woman's problem. If, say any man that hit a woman got an instant 10 year hard labor prison sentence do you not think abuse would go down?
Also, I stated in the OP I am 28. As for me ruining my life, how? Other than those here NO ONE I have talked to knows the truth, and unless I tell someone, it won't be an issue.
So you honestly think lying to get an abusive man deservedly shunned is worse than an abusive man that beats/rapes women in the first place? Let me ask you this: Since the end of WWII the Israelis have ALWAYS been vigilant on making any ex nazis they can find pay for what they did, even those that are 90+ years old now. I guess the Jews should've realized wanting to aggressively go after ex Nazis is just all about revenge and they should be better than the Nazis and stop, right? Just forgive and forget. I really wish everyone here that says it was wrong to get back at him and I'm just "stooping to his level" by making SURE he gets punished would fly to Israel and tell the Jews they should just forget what the Nazis did to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper
The problem with taking it on yourself to provide vengeance, is that such actions prolong whatever nasty feelings you have with that person, double back, then bite you on the a55.
Says you. I feel pretty damn good. You want to know what would really prolong nasty feelings? Always having to see him around town living life as nothing happened.
Like many women at first he wasn't like this and he'd just tear me down and was mostly mentally/emotionally abusive, it was only the last 3 months he decided to ramp up the abuse. Of course I have always heard if you are a woman that has been or are being abused not to expect any real kind of justice, which, of course I didn't get.
What made you think it was OK for him to emotionally abuse you? Were you used to that kind of treatment in your past?
Did you read the link above? 97% of RAPISTS won't see a day in jail, let alone men that abuse women.
Apparently you didn't read the link or didn't understand it. The main reason that number is so high is because IN THE VAST MAJORITY OF RAPES, THE RAPES ARE NOT REPORTED TO THE POLICE
What he did was wrong but what you did was equally wrong. 2 wrongs don't make a right! I don't wish for something bad to happen to you, but I do hope you come to this realisation someday.
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