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How ever we got to the point of just "hanging out".... not sure if men drove that deal or women let it happen, but that is basically code for we can have sex, but not have any accountability towards someone's feelings and if I want to bang someone else, you can't bust my chops about it.
That was slick little maneuver right there...
I think most of this stuff is generational, women my age range grew up with the same sensibilities as I have and most people 25 or so have a different approach to the dating world.
I think women actually have gotten the shorter end of the stick out of the deal.... so many girls/women are just expected to put out and if you don't, the next girl will... all that stuff sort of removes any incentive for men to bother with "courting" as you put it.
It's easier just to "hang out" bang chicks and go home and play X box.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
Chow, you need to stop with the millenial male bashing. Seriously. It's getting old.
If you think it's bad for the women of this generation then what's with the young men on here who post how they can't get a date?
Reread what I posted and tell me where I offended people??
If you don't like what I post, then by all means sir, put me on block, you wouldn't be the first to do so.
I made simple basic observations about the current lack of "courting" that men do or don't do...... they don't have to court nearly as much as 20 or 30 yrs ago....
The part I bolded applies to women too, did you notice I didn't make any gender assignments to the bolded, I was careful to do that on purpose.....
It is probably a little bit generational. And maybe related also to "perceived dating value" and intention and current life stage. But I definitely feel like more frequently some people are trying to put in the bare minimum. But maybe their goals also have a low threshold too. I guess if your goal is FWB, than maybe that is all that is needed. I seem to meet more and more men looking for low commitment relationships. Even surprisingly more than I would assume in my age group. I don't know if for some relationships have gotten bad PR or they have been burned or they are afraid of getting hurt. Hard to say.
I agree. People are marrying later in life (or not at all) so people are often dating simply to pass the time with someone, rather than with serious intentions and/or looking for a spouse or life partner. I can understand why one wouldn't want to pull out all the courtly stops for a casual/serial relationship. Again, that's why I believe that courtly behavior is often an indicator of someone's intentions.
Chow, you need to stop with the millenial male bashing. Seriously. It's getting old.
If you think it's bad for the women of this generation then what's with the young men on here who post how they can't get a date?
Maybe because they are asking to "hang out"?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Reread what I posted and tell me where I offended people??
If you don't like what I post, then by all means sir, put me on block, you wouldn't be the first to do so.
I made simple basic observations about the current lack of "courting" that men do or don't do...... they don't have to court nearly as much as 20 or 30 yrs ago....
The part I bolded applies to women too, did you notice I didn't make any gender assignments to the bolded, I was careful to do that on purpose.....
I respect both of you a lot but I'm siding with Ro on that comment because that can very easily be interpreted as a slam against Generation Y.
I respect both of you a lot but I'm siding with Ro on that comment because that can very easily be interpreted as a slam against Generation Y.
I have in the past have been critical of young guys, but I've since backed off of that, I've resigned myself to accepting that the current views expressed by a lot of younger guys is just a product of the times, right wrong or indifferent.
It is what it is.
Times change, views shift, things morph, it's just the way things go....
Everyone made a big deal back in the 20's when women started to go into bars, smoke, and the outrage over the flappers....
The 60's men grew their hair long and the old folks had heart attacks...
I want to be courted, even with being married. To me that means appreciating the extra things we each do for one another, continuing to put work into our appearances, complementing, etc.
I actually like courting.....when the woman is actually worth it (which is rare). I'm definitely down for it, so long as the woman fits my requirements (in both looks and personality).
If a woman courted me, especially with flowers and chocolate, I would not like it. I'm a man. I don't want flowers. I also don't like chocolate. If she gets me presents that I actually want, I guess I'd be okay with it.
If it's their normal self then it's not really wooing, eh? Its just him being him, which is exactly what I was talking about: being his real self, not an I'm Trying To Impress You self.
"Being yourself" is not an antonym of "wooing".
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