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Not specific ones (though if you'd like to share feel free), but more just the general types. Figured some of us could compare notes haha.
I find when we both like the same author and I ask about a book of there's (like what they thought of it) I've gotten some replies. Especially if the author is fairly obscure or not widely read.
Also, of course the random stupid, but non-offensive joke ones tend to get replies. Like one time a girl had a picture of a lighthouse so I accused her of lying about her job and actually being a lighthouse keeper. Actually ended up going on a date with that one.
Although those joke ones can backfire as some people are just way too uptight. I figure the girls who get offended by really PG material don't last long in online dating anyway. After all from what I hear for women in online dating for every one good message there are like 100 dick pics and "Hey, whatsup? DTF?" messages.
For me I've just created a somewhat general template message that I use. It's pretty damn effective. This way I can kind of just copy and paste and send it out quickly. Out of 10 I'll get around 4-5 responses on average.
I basically just kept it down to two sentences or so but long enough for her to feel a bit engaged and intrigued. I focus on something that just about every woman likes, which is smiling and I tell them I want to get to know them. My intro is super confident but not arrogant.
I need to tweak it a bit though because I know I can get more than 5 out of 10.
He had a photo of him hiking with his llama. I sent him a one-liner warning him about the wild llamas of Western Washington.
Totally worked.
Haha, whenever you can do a random one liner and get a response it's always nice. After all I think we've all fallen in the trap at least once of putting together a real well, thought out message and then...nothing...zip...zilch...nadda.
To tie in with this thread I actually just set up another first date for this Saturday. Yes, on Halloween when we both already have plans that night! However, we're meeting for brunch, which really is far from ideal, but I've been going into these things with super low expectations lately. Anyway, I just checked to see what my first message was and it was an obscure cartoon reference followed by complimenting her on a classic rock reference in her profile.
I sent a number of crude-ish or cheeky messages, but they were done in jest. They all took it well.
I'd get messages like "I wonder what you can do with those lips." and I'd reply with something snarky or cheeky. I actually took these sort of messages in the light they were said. I didn't take offense to much. Mostly laughed. I never received d*ck pictures via dating site messages. Actually, I don't recall getting very many "Wanna ____?" Of the lower quality messages, they were typically "Hey, want to talk?" or "Let's meet." or some other lame or lackluster message.
Messages that got the best responses... references to obscure music, authors, movies (big time movie buff), religion, politics, MBTI, video games (MMOs and RPGs), mentioned something in their profile, or asked about an answer to a question (OKC's survey).
I rarely sent messages to men on OKC with a match % below 90%. There was one guy whose profile was almost bare, and he hadn't answered that many questions yet since he was new. I saw his profile and, being my snarky self, I sent him a short message not expecting anything of it. A lot of times I sent messages because I enjoyed the interaction even if nothing were to come of it.
I said something like: "Marines like books? Marines can read? Say what!?" (because the majority of Marines' profiles mentioned hunting, fast cars, lifting weights, bars, sports, etc., and these types were not really my type) and he messaged me back with a funny response. We ended up going on 5-6 dates, but weren't compatible in the end.
Basically I try to say something that would catch their attention where they would want to respond. I think this is pretty sound, but I think I'm at a 5% message return rate.
Here's some of my experience, with the following caveats:
1) Not all people are the same
2) I'm a guy, so "success" could still be as low as like 5%
That said, here's the "type" of message I have the most luck with:
-Addresses something specific in their profile that is important to them
-Proper grammar (I do this anyway, but poor grammar can't possibly help)
-Open ended question
The type of messages that work the best on me
-Same as above, directed towards me
-Complimentary, especially of the physical variety. (notes on this below)
-Boldness. And I mean BOLD. I recently got a message complimenting my profile and suggesting that I "seem f**kable" and asked me for drinks, but had a tone of confidence to it, rather than indifference. By that, I mean the difference in tone between "I can choose whoever I want to sleep with, and I choose you" versus "meh, you'll do"
-Enthusiasm/Optimism. The printed version of a smile.
Messages that do poorly
-Short. "Hi", etc.....not good.
-Poor grammar. Unless you're SUPER hot, I probably won't respond with much (though I respond to every message I get), and it likely won't last very long, if that's the goal.
-Negativity. Don't start off on the wrong foot.
Regarding compliments
There was something I had pieced together in my younger years that later became a PUA staple (which kind of annoyed me), but this was one of those "it works for a reason" things. The idea is that you compliment intelligent people on their looks, and attractive people on their intelligence (assuming one stands out more than the other). It's worked pretty well for me in the past, and it ABSOLUTELY works ON me. I already know I'm intelligent. Tell me you love my broad shoulders (or whatever) and want to f**k my brains out
All that only applies to compliments. Obviously, if we're going to be compatible, the things we'll actually talk about will be the things we relate to intellectually. But if you're going for flattery, see above.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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There is no general answer, it is always specific to the profile. But always ask a question to encourage a response.
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