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I think the thing that draws me to OLD so much is that, unlike many in-person settings, if you spy someone who piques your interest, you don't have to necessarily figure out or wonder if they are "taken." Meeting people in anything but a singles get together, you don't know that necessarily.
I would never, ever get involved with someone from work, or a neighbor...basically I always think, "If I had a relationship with this person and it went sideways, what would the afterwards look like?" If there is increased drama because of social context, I tend to avoid it. I even refused to get involved with one guy because I liked his friends so much, I felt like if we got involved, and it ended, and there was drama or fallout, it would create rifts with people he likes and I like, so I declined. There were other reasons, too, but that was the main one.
After tons of first dates, driving 100+ miles to meet guys and lots of rejection, I found my guy living 10 minutes away from me! And he was on the same dating site for two years, I have no idea why I didn't see him sooner on there.
I've done OKC and I met some interesting people. I might have to block one who drives me kinda nuts, but I'd use OKC again. Sometimes when I am VERY bored, I peer through the pages and pages of profiles in my area on Fetlife, but that site really does not work well as a dating site. I have found a few men there and struck up conversations, but it went absolutely nowhere. And no man has approached me there, that I would even consider meeting with. I keep my eyes and ears open in the BDSM community, hoping that someone interesting might be available and all, but the sort I like are in short supply and high demand. Older men are usually favorites in that scene. I've made lots of friends, but promising prospective lovers, not so much.
I'll second the suggestion of trying out Collarspace when you are ready to start looking again. There's obviously a ton of overlap with Fet, but it's way easier to search.
I'll second the suggestion of trying out Collarspace when you are ready to start looking again. There's obviously a ton of overlap with Fet, but it's way easier to search.
Thanks. I will keep it in mind. Next summer if I'm still feeling I need something I don't have, at least I plan to go to Thunder in the Mountains, a pretty huge convention in Denver, so there might be some opportunities there, too. But anything could happen between now and then, I'm not in the mood to worry about it at the moment.
Not a woman, but Meetup groups have been great for me. Especially those events that are oriented towards singles looking to mingle. It's best if you live in a large metropolitan for this option.
Dancing is a great way for women to meet gay guys. Any guy I know who is straight and good at dancing, the females say they are just there to have fun, not start a relationship. Sooooo
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Originally Posted by stepka
I met 5 great looking men while out dancing last week lol....
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Originally Posted by Mr. Analyst
Not a woman, but Meetup groups have been great for me. Especially those events that are oriented towards singles looking to mingle. It's best if you live in a large metropolitan for this option.
Recently, and admittedly without much seriousness, I ventured into the local ballroom dancing scene, taking a class at the local club. While initial foray is insufficient to pass judgment, so far I'm frustrated. Most attendees were elderly, with a smattering of young people (under 30), but essentially no one in my age-bracket (call it 35-50). It was very awkward to be gliding across the room with my arm around the torso of women old enough to be my mother, or young enough to be my daughter. In the vernacular, it was "creepy".
Much the same holds with meetup.com; a smattering of interesting people, good conversation and good socializing, but no romantic prospects. Why not? Because most people are either elderly or very young, and/or married. My latest meetup.com venture was an "ethnic"/language gathering. Again, great crowd… but it's anchored by a married couple with a baby, an older married woman, and a young woman eager to start a family. My demographic is arrantly absent.
Much the same holds with meetup.com; a smattering of interesting people, good conversation and good socializing, but no romantic prospects. Why not? Because most people are either elderly or very young, and/or married. My latest meetup.com venture was an "ethnic"/language gathering. Again, great crowd… but it's anchored by a married couple with a baby, an older married woman, and a young woman eager to start a family. My demographic is arrantly absent.
Where you live is critical here. I've been to Meetup groups back in my hometown (which was mostly deserted by younger folks during the economic collapse), and there were mostly older folks trying to mingle. Where I live now, there are a lot more younger folks who have just moved here and want to meet new people.
I still think the pub/bar/club scene works best for both sexes, whether it's for a ONS or a relationship.
As you will see if there's a spark straight away and then you can have a chat there and then as well
I think that is another one that will depend VERY much on where you live. Some rural towns either have no bar at all, or perhaps just one watering hole where the local boys go to drink beer and shoot pool.
And some people (like me) who don't drink, will not have a good time there trying to make connections at all. In addition to being sober, if there is loud music (like in many bars) I won't be able to hear a conversation. That's no good.
Here we've got dance clubs, which are loud and geared more towards a younger crowd (plus, I don't dance.) We have sports bars, where I'm only likely go to for dinner if the food is good. And if that's the case, I'm unlikely to be alone anyways. Really, there are few reasons I go to bars. My BDSM scene has a get together at one here, and it's pretty big so I usually go. I wind up outside smoking cigarettes and talking to people where it's not so loud. And more typically I'm in pool halls shooting pool, but the only men who have come onto me in those places were really old, grizzled, drunk, and kind of gross. I like older men, but not the ones who look ever so slightly homeless and stand there wobbling drunk and staring at my chest. Ew. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.
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