Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've dated two men I've worked with, no problem. We chose not to tell people but I'm sure they noticed something was different between us. I'm still close friends with one.
It's not a good idea to go public. It makes your business everyone else's. Be happy with what you have.
I began dating a coworker about seven months ago. At the time, he was going through a divorce and no one knew at the office but me. We both agreed to wait a while to tell anyone about us (until all the talk of his divorce dies down so that neither of us looked bad or like we rushed into anything) About a month and a half ago, I told him I was ready to tell people but he was not. I accepted this and waited. About a week ago, he said he thought it was time in the next few weeks, but I get the feeling he is second guessing this again.
Some background: we work in a small firm with no policy on dating (it is not even mentioned in the handbook) Husband/wife teams have worked here in the past but I don't think anyone met on the job. He is in no way my superior or boss. For him, not telling anyone poses no issues. He is very private and no one asks him about his personal life. For me, it is awkward as I am close to some of my colleagues and feel like I am lying to them. I am afraid it could look bad for me when it comes out if we wait too long.
Can anyone offer advice on how they handled an office romance like this or what they believe the best course of action should be; half the time I get mad at him for not being willing to be upfront while the other half of the time I understand and feel we should keep quiet. But we are very serious about a future together, so how long can we keep quiet without it getting out of hand?
What part of the bolded do you not get? HE's not some fish you caught and want to show everyone. He works there, he doesnt want his private life splattered all over work. The only one with the blabbermouth problem is you. You act like you are in high school.
How is it going to look bad for you if it comes out later? Why should it ever come out? You are barely dating right now; what if you blab to your co workers and in 2 weeks you break up? Why is it so important to you to blab all your private business at work? Nothing good will come of that...nothing.
If this is like a retail or restaurant (store level) job, carry on!
I know the OP works probably works in an office setting, but note that not all retail or restaurant job are OK with employees dating. Years ago, a relative of mine worked in a retail store (in a mall) & the store had a strict no-dating policy regarding employees. Not sure how or if it was ever enforced, but just the fact that it was there was an indication that the management didn't like this type of thing.
I don't understand why everyone is being so hostile about the OP having a relationship with a co-worker. Sometimes we develop feelings for those whom we see the most and that is often co-workers.
My only advice to the OP is to NOT announce the relationship but if some co-workers happen to find out about it over time the relationship shouldn't be denied.
I don't understand why everyone is being so hostile about the OP having a relationship with a co-worker. Sometimes we develop feelings for those whom we see the most and that is often co-workers.
My only advice to the OP is to NOT announce the relationship but if some co-workers happen to find out about it over time the relationship shouldn't be denied.
Thank you for your comment. I am also a little confused as to why people are being so hostile. It seems a little unwarrented.
I don't understand why everyone is being so hostile about the OP having a relationship with a co-worker. Sometimes we develop feelings for those whom we see the most and that is often co-workers.
My only advice to the OP is to NOT announce the relationship but if some co-workers happen to find out about it over time the relationship shouldn't be denied.
There's a certain appeal to going after someone at work. We spend so much time at work, might as well make productive use of the time and find dates. Finding dates at work could make the night time bar visits unnecessary if done the right way.
Problem is, when it does not work, things can go really bad.
Thank you for your comment. I am also a little confused as to why people are being so hostile. It seems a little unwarrented.
I have NO idea why so many on this board feel the need to go out of their way to do anti-workplace relationships public service announcements when it wasn't the main concern of the OP's question.
I also asked a simple question in another thread that I created about a co-worker (potentially) having a crush on me and MOST of the posts were lectures about not dating at work.
There's a certain appeal to going after someone at work. We spend so much time at work, might as well make productive use of the time and find dates. Finding dates at work could make the night time bar visits unnecessary if done the right way.
Problem is, when it does not work, things can go really bad.
Or things can go really well and one can meet the love of their life.
Or things can end and each remain friends.
Why are you guys such PESSIMISTS? Please stop projecting negativity into every scenario.
2 things for sure
when you hook up or whether you break up the entire office will know and talk about you at every opportunity. your personal relation with this person in every detail will be breakfast for the boys and girls every day.
you are not dating he or she you are dating them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
