Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh, you meant from her point of view. Sorry. Misinterpreted that.
I read it the way you did the first time. We've had women posting here who say they paid their way on the first date, but the guy took it wrong and either wrote them off, or assumed they were "easy", and made some moves the women didn't appreciate. Other women (and men) have posted that each paying their own way on the first date is the accepted thing these days. Probably a generational thing, in part. It just goes to show that there are no rules, there is no single m.o. that characterizes "American" dating.
I have once asked a guy for a during the day coffee date and he answered "ouch" because day dates are friendzone dates??
hmm.... again, I think that's in the eye of the beholder. There's nothing wrong with day dates, IMO. I've never heard of a night-time coffee date, anyway. Especially with online dating, a daytime coffee date or any kind of a daytime meet-and-greet is typical. Museum dates are almost exclusively daytime dates, and aren't unusual for a first date. I think some people are so rigid in their thinking, that they do themselves a disservice. Some guy concluded you were friendzoning him just because you asked him out on a day date? Sheesh. Way to shoot himself in the foot!
2. Some people get confused with usage of the LOVE word because Americans throw it around so easily. I love shoes, I love food - Germans dont love objects. They love people and they sparingly use the word LOVE in general.
Get out of here with this. I pay for early dates, but in almost every relationship I have we take turns or split costs after the initial dates. That's the norm in America when the people involved are equals.
Sorry, but yuck. We may be equals but we give and receive differently. There are feminine ways to give that don't involve paying for your own date, and masculine ways to receive that don't involve asking your date for money. That would not make me feel feminine at all. Just as an example, there is a guy I have been on a couple dates with who paid for all (I am a cheap date though, diners are cool with me).
On one date, we started talking about something I had which he admired...so when he arrived for the next date, I had one of that item that I bought and gave him as a gift...it was probably the same cost as a dinner, however the message was more feminine IMO...it was "I appreciate you and I would like you to have this". That to me is the way a feminine woman gives, not by making me pay for sharing dinner with you, but with tokens of appreciation, whether bought or made, or with gifts of "affection" (my last bf used to lay with his feet on my lap and I'd rub them while we watched TV). To me it just preserves that feminine/masculine dichotomy that creates the "heat" between us, so to speak.
In other news, I do not agree that day dates are friendzone dates. I had a 3:00 first date yesterday because it was the most convenient time for both of us, and we didn't know each other yet (was a fix-up by mutual friends). But it definitely wasn't friend-zoned and ended with some nice, deep kisses in his car before we left that had both of us leaving with fantasy-filled anticipation of the next date.
Sorry, but yuck. We may be equals but we give and receive differently. There are feminine ways to give that don't involve paying for your own date, and masculine ways to receive that don't involve asking your date for money. That would not make me feel feminine at all. Just as an example, there is a guy I have been on a couple dates with who paid for all (I am a cheap date though, diners are cool with me).
On one date, we started talking about something I had which he admired...so when he arrived for the next date, I had one of that item that I bought and gave him as a gift...it was probably the same cost as a dinner, however the message was more feminine IMO...it was "I appreciate you and I would like you to have this". That to me is the way a feminine woman gives, not by making me pay for sharing dinner with you, but with tokens of appreciation, whether bought or made, or with gifts of "affection" (my last bf used to lay with his feet on my lap and I'd rub them while we watched TV). To me it just preserves that feminine/masculine dichotomy that creates the "heat" between us, so to speak.
In other news, I do not agree that day dates are friendzone dates. I had a 3:00 first date yesterday because it was the most convenient time for both of us, and we didn't know each other yet (was a fix-up by mutual friends). But it definitely wasn't friend-zoned and ended with some nice, deep kisses in his car before we left that had both of us leaving with fantasy-filled anticipation of the next date.
Every thing you talked about in that post can be done by either men or women. Neither sex has the monopoly on any kind of giving or receiving.
[quote=Just A Guy;41846776]Every thing you talked about in that post can be done by either men or women. Neither sex has the monopoly on any kind of giving or receiving.[/QUOTE
You can't really have read my post. It's not about can or can't it's about what I like. I happen to feel aroused by masculine energy that allows me to fully feel my feminine energy, and IMO paying for a date is masculine energy. If I were asked for cash on a date I would feel decidedly up feminine and therefore unaroused. Whatever floats your boat, but I prefer lovers who enjoy being the masculine energy in the relationship.
If we are living together we would equally share expenses....but when we go on a date, don't ask me to pull out my wallet if you want to keep me hot for you after dinner.
I would rather a man over compliment than never. Only input I have. Lol
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
