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I have a friend who has no desire to have children (she's a teacher and has enough of them during the day) and her husband recently sprung on her that he wants to have a "little football player" one day. I feel bad for her, because now everyone is telling her she'll change her mind, or that she should so she can give her husband what he wants.
Yep, I have no doubt plenty of guys change their minds too. This would be very difficult, at least I wasn't married.
We are out here. I'm 46 and recently married. I never have wanted kids, and several of my closest female friends around my age do not have and/or didn't want kids -- one of them is single. It's not all that unusual in my experience.
I consider myself "child-free" though I don't use the term or label myself. I'm not part of any movement.
Would you care to state why you didn't want kid?? I only ask cause I'm just curious what other people's reasoning is.
I been thinkin about what kind of Woman I love to pursue and personally after a lot of baby sitting I done in the past and seeing how my brothers and sisters take care of their sons and daughters I love to be with someone permanently that doesn't want children. But it seems like some of the people ( both men and women) at some point want children but I don't.
So how can I go into meeting woman that don't want children? How common is it to meet woman that don't want children nowadays anyways?
Find a woman that already has kids, otherwise its nearly impossible and you will have to sacrafice alot of other things you are looking for in a woman. I did not want kids either and the only women who will agree to it are owmen that already have kids.
The high probabilty of women walking out because young kids make life harder and there really are no down sides to a woman leaving the relationship. Loss of sleep, I see coworkers coming in looking like zombies, I was like what the he** happened to you, they were like oh we could not get the kids down to go to sleep. You wont ever be able to travel again becuase it will be cost prohibiitve unless you have a huge extended family to watch the kids.
Since most families both parents have to work you have the excessive costs of day care, after school care, etc etc. Some of the figures I have heard people throw out there make my head spin. I figured it would have been a few hundred a month but I have heard of it costing well over 1000 when you figure in the after school care etc etc. There are certianly some buisensses being allowed to fleece parents big time for some really marginal start up costs. Watching kids in a day care setting is not rocket science.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Would you care to state why you didn't want kid?? I only ask cause I'm just curious what other people's reasoning is.
I have a friend who has no desire to have children (she's a teacher and has enough of them during the day) and her husband recently sprung on her that he wants to have a "little football player" one day. I feel bad for her, because now everyone is telling her she'll change her mind, or that she should so she can give her husband what he wants.
If that ever happens, it's time to leave immediately.
Kids is one of the things you can never really bargain with. If one party wants kids, but the other party does not, eventually everyone will end up unhappy.
My wife and I do not want kids, but if she decided one day she wanted kids, I would strongly encourage her to either accept the fact that I do not ever want kids, or to find someone who does. If I eventually gave in and agreed to have a kid, I would be bitter, which would probably ruin our relationship.
I'd imagine that the majority of relationships would be better off without "little ones" in the mix as they often complicate everything.
If that ever happens, it's time to leave immediately.
Kids is one of the things you can never really bargain with. If one party wants kids, but the other party does not, eventually everyone will end up unhappy.
My wife and I do not want kids, but if she decided one day she wanted kids, I would strongly encourage her to either accept the fact that I do not ever want kids, or to find someone who does. If I eventually gave in and agreed to have a kid, I would be bitter, which would probably ruin our relationship.
I'd imagine that the majority of relationships would be better off without "little ones" in the mix as they often complicate everything.
I totally agree. Their relationship has other problems as well. I don't know how long it will take until they realize it though.
Would you care to state why you didn't want kid?? I only ask cause I'm just curious what other people's reasoning is.
I just never felt that draw to have kids that most people talk about. Women talk about their biological clock; I don't know what that is.
I won't deny that there have been times when I've thought about it. Usually around Christmastime, when everyone is posting photos of their kids and they all look so cute, or if I walk through the baby department at Target or something. That's all pure, fleeting emotion though, and not a good enough reason.
I have enough commitment issues, too, so I don't think I would be very good at committing myself to the nurturing and raising of another human being. A lot of people call that selfish but I disagree. I see too many people who are doing a mediocre to **** poor job of it as it is; I think it's less selfish to stay childfree than to bring a child into the world.
And then of course there's the whole fact that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and is incredibly overpopulated... But that's probably a topic for another forum.
I been thinkin about what kind of Woman I love to pursue and personally after a lot of baby sitting I done in the past and seeing how my brothers and sisters take care of their sons and daughters I love to be with someone permanently that doesn't want children. But it seems like some of the people ( both men and women) at some point want children but I don't.
So how can I go into meeting woman that don't want children? How common is it to meet woman that don't want children nowadays anyways?
I have a 45 year old friend in Denver...she works in education and does NOT want kids! They are out there!
No! Why does there have to be other problems, are you a shrink or something and you derive your income from inventing problems. Sometimes one person wants a kid and the other doesnt and that is all. It is a big deal and will likely result in a split but it does not mean "other things" have to be going on lol.
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Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
I totally agree. Their relationship has other problems as well. I don't know how long it will take until they realize it though.
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