Meeting Woman that don't want Children? (dates, percentage, wedding, experiences)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I'm in the heart of southern California , los angeles county... the heart of liberalism and free spiritedness and I've had hard time............ I've had a rough time meeting women that didn't have kids.... this was in my 20's...a long time ago... when I was single....
In my 20s I was mostly in Madison WI, Boston and Chicago and never had a problem. Women with kids in their 20s was rare. Super rare.
I only have one friend that had kids in their 20s. Most waited until early 30s at the earliest for them.
Seriously? Both the women I'm just starting to hang with now never wanted to have kids. The majority of women I've dated in my life (I'm 44) never wanted to have kids or just didn't have them.
I go to something like OKC and start going through the singles 35-45 or so and most don't have kids and a large percentage of those state in the questions they don't want them.
It's really not the uncommon if you don't live in a conservative/family areas. Are you like in Orange Country or something like that? It's really conservative down there.
I agree that location plays a big part in it. I was able to meet women who were child-free or didn't want them pretty easily when I was on OKC. I went out with four or five over a month and a half period. However, I live in a prime location, if I lived in say Paducah, Kentucky or someplace similar I'd have a much more difficult time. As it turns out, the woman I've been dating for a little over a year has a daughter, but is grown and lives on the west coast. I've only met her twice.
Liberal vs. conservative... intelligent vs. dumb... have no bearing on if a woman wants to have kids or not.
Maybe the best indicator mentioned here is "carer-minded" (although that's not a given either). I know of women who aren't career-minded and don't want kids (although both are very "travel" minded. They don't want kids because they want to be free to travel and as far as they are concerned, their jobs are a means to an end... to travel). Maybe a better indication would be, "has a passion that directly conflicts with raising a family." That could be a job. Or travel. Or an unusually demanding hobby. Etc.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,801,517 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
One more thing to add...
Liberal vs. conservative... intelligent vs. dumb... have no bearing on if a woman wants to have kids or not.
Maybe the best indicator mentioned here is "carer-minded" (although that's not a given either). I know of women who aren't career-minded and don't want kids (although both are very "travel" minded. They don't want kids because they want to be free to travel and as far as they are concerned, their jobs are a means to an end... to travel). Maybe a better indication would be, "has a passion that directly conflicts with raising a family." That could be a job. Or travel. Or an unusually demanding hobby. Etc.
My experiences are in opposition to this. But hey, it really doesn't matter.
Liberal vs. conservative... intelligent vs. dumb... have no bearing on if a woman wants to have kids or not.
Maybe the best indicator mentioned here is "carer-minded" (although that's not a given either). I know of women who aren't career-minded and don't want kids (although both are very "travel" minded. They don't want kids because they want to be free to travel and as far as they are concerned, their jobs are a means to an end... to travel). Maybe a better indication would be, "has a passion that directly conflicts with raising a family." That could be a job. Or travel. Or an unusually demanding hobby. Etc.
I agree with this and also another reason why I've had good luck with the OLD as this is also one of my interests.
In my 20s I was mostly in Madison WI, Boston and Chicago and never had a problem. Women with kids in their 20s was rare. Super rare.
I only have one friend that had kids in their 20s. Most waited until early 30s at the earliest for them.
Maybe in those towns... but not in LA, tons and tons and tons of women in their very low 20's had kids....
When I met mrs.chow back in the 90's and she was 28 with no kids its was like a ****ing goldmine ... a unicorn.......... I mean a unique unicorn to meet a woman that was in her late 20's with no kids...
My experiences are in opposition to this. But hey, it really doesn't matter.
I have no doubt that's your experience.
I think you live in Boston, right? It tends to be a more liberal area so it's quite possible (and probable) that most of the women you run into are liberal minded regardless of a desire for children or not. So it the truth would be for you that most women you meet who don't want kids are liberal. But I would argue, most women you meet are liberal regardless of a desire for kids or not.
I live in a "purple" area. And in this purple area, I don't see a trend for childlessness with either side of the blue/red spectrum.
I really don't know any "dumb" women (or men for that matter). But I think it's unfair to say that intelligent women don't want kids. There are plenty of very intelligent women who do want (and have) kids as well. And you also imply by saying that, "look for intelligent women if you don't want kids," that women who do want kids must be lacking in the IQ department. It's unfair to women to equate the desire for children with intelligence. I mean, would anyone say that about a man? That intelligent men don't want kids and (therefore) if a man has kids he must be less intelligent?
Again, I really think it boils down to a passion. If you want a woman who is less inclined to have kids, find a woman who has a passion for something that precludes having children: career-minded, travel minded, volunteer-minded, etc.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,801,517 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
I have no doubt that's your experience.
I think you live in Boston, right? It tends to be a more liberal area so it's quite possible (and probable) that most of the women you run into are liberal minded regardless of a desire for children or not. So it the truth would be for you that most women you meet who don't want kids are liberal. But I would argue, most women you meet are liberal regardless of a desire for kids or not.
Boston, Madison, Burlington, Chicago, San Francisco... then some crapholes not worth mentioning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
And you also imply by saying that, "look for intelligent women if you don't want kids," that women who do want kids must be lacking in the IQ department.
That isn't true at all. That "reasoning" is a total logical fallacy, aka a type of non sequitor fallacy, perhaps affirming the disjunct, but I'd have to double check.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
I mean, would anyone say that about a man? That intelligent men don't want kids and (therefore) if a man has kids he must be less intelligent?
No, but since I didn't say or imply it about women either, all is good.
Maybe in those towns... but not in LA, tons and tons and tons of women in their very low 20's had kids....
When I met mrs.chow back in the 90's and she was 28 with no kids its was like a ****ing goldmine ... a unicorn.......... I mean a unique unicorn to meet a woman that was in her late 20's with no kids...
I've lived in 2 of those 3 cities (madison/chicago), and my experience is still the same as yours, Chow....women want kids. What I saw a lot of (and still nowhere near a majority), was women in their 20's that wanted to wait til their 30's...but they still wanted kids.
It does vary geographically, but I submit that even at it's MOST extreme, I wouldn't put the percentage of "women who never want children" any higher than 20%. Hell, the ACTUAL number of childless women is right around 45%, and that includes younger women that will eventually want children and women that are having difficulty finding a partner to have children WITH.
My combined anecdotal experience? I'd put it around 3%. Less than 1/30 of the women I've ever met, seen, or heard of never want children.
I really don't know any "dumb" women (or men for that matter). But I think it's unfair to say that intelligent women don't want kids. There are plenty of very intelligent women who do want (and have) kids as well. And you also imply by saying that, "look for intelligent women if you don't want kids," that women who do want kids must be lacking in the IQ department. It's unfair to women to equate the desire for children with intelligence. I mean, would anyone say that about a man? That intelligent men don't want kids and (therefore) if a man has kids he must be less intelligent?
It's a touchy subject and I hope that I phrase my thoughts here correctly, but I don't mean them to be insulting or anything.
Statistically speaking, there is a correlation between higher IQs and fewer children (or the likelihood of not having children). But that doesn't necessarily equal "smart = no kids" or "stupid = kids". (As well, the study only covered who actually HAS children, not who wants them) As an example, more intelligent people are more likely to have higher paying careers, that (in turn) are more likely to be demanding of one as an individual. I'd submit that a corporate CEO would be less likely to have children than one of the entry level people at the same company. One person could argue it's intelligence, another time, or any of a lot of other factors.
Also, intelligence is a very middle-pointed bell curve. It's not like the data suggests that only geniuses don't have children or that only morons do. We're talking a relevant differential of like 2-3 points, if that. And it's by no means authoritative (i.e. you can't take someone with children and assume they're more intelligent than someone who isn't. You're talking 2 people out of a sample size of billions.) I mean, is it STATISTICALLY more likely? Sure, but in the same way that flipping tails on a quarter is statistically more likely because of the weight of the head protrusion. Statistically greater, but insignificant. Certainly not enough to automatically draw conclusions about one's intelligence purely based on how many offspring they've pumped out
Regarding your comment about "would people say that about a man"? Yes, they can, and do. The aforementioned studies were gender-neutral.
Is it unfair to say something as direct as "look for more intelligent people" if you're looking for those who never want children? Sure...as mentioned, we're talking about super small sample sizes. But not because there isn't a correlation. There are simply more direct correlations out there.
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