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Well, I did marry the wrong woman at 37. I wasted my 30's with the wrong woman. Obviously, I didn't think she was the wrong woman at the time, but it ended up that way. I wish I'd never met her and wasted 7 years, the best years as far as attractiveness to the opposite sex. At 40, I got divorced and because of the "4" in front of my age, women no longer were interested (online, I mean). So single life for me hasn't been fun. I'm also a relationship guy who values family. How the hell am I single? Its a mystery to me and a tragedy. I don't enjoy casual dating, though thats all I do at this point (and not a lot of it) because I can't meet the right woman.
Well, I did marry the wrong woman at 37. I wasted my 30's with the wrong woman. Obviously, I didn't think she was the wrong woman at the time, but it ended up that way. I wish I'd never met her and wasted 7 years, the best years as far as attractiveness to the opposite sex. At 40, I got divorced and because of the "4" in front of my age, women no longer were interested (online, I mean). So single life for me hasn't been fun. I'm also a relationship guy who values family. How the hell am I single? Its a mystery to me and a tragedy. I don't enjoy casual dating, though thats all I do at this point (and not a lot of it) because I can't meet the right woman.
I'm going to answer your initial question in a moment, but 1st I want to address this subject that I see in several of your posts. If you want to find a lady at your age (45ish I assume), then it is very possible. Maybe not in your hometown, but abroad. Some people will poo-poo the idea, but you are a very good candidate. What do you really have to lose at this point? You can still have it all, albeit a little later than most, but no big deal.
As to the original question, myself, I am your age, and have a zest for life, I find things that interest me, like learning new things. You should take an inventory of what you haven't done but would like to do, and start getting on it. Salsa, woodworking, traveling, a foreign language, whatever it is you want to do. You have freedom, and if you have money enough, you can do many things. Just get your head straight.
Stand up, look in the mirror, and take control of yourself, and your life.
I'm going to answer your initial question in a moment, but 1st I want to address this subject that I see in several of your posts. If you want to find a lady at your age (45ish I assume), then it is very possible. Maybe not in your hometown, but abroad. Some people will poo-poo the idea, but you are a very good candidate. What do you really have to lose at this point? You can still have it all, albeit a little later than most, but no big deal.
As to the original question, myself, I am your age, and have a zest for life, I find things that interest me, like learning new things. You should take an inventory of what you haven't done but would like to do, and start getting on it. Salsa, woodworking, traveling, a foreign language, whatever it is you want to do. You have freedom, and if you have money enough, you can do many things. Just get your head straight.
Stand up, look in the mirror, and take control of yourself, and your life.
Yeah, I've given serious thought to the overseas thing and even talked to a company about it. I just think that's an enormous risk of a woman marrying me for the wrong reasons. I may ultimately do it, but as a last resort within the next year.
I am going to do salsa, assuming my back holds up. Major issues with it that may result in surgery. I am also going to learn Spanish. So yeah, I'm continuing to do things and try. As I said earlier, it does get tiring. I'd like to be married and doing other things than what I'm having to do now.
To the OP, think of being single as a positive rather than a negative. I.e.:
If you like to travel, you will only spend money on one person instead of two.
You won't be coming home to a nagging wife. I know this would be especially tough for me, especially since I have a stressful job & need peace & quiet when I get home.
You won't need to deal with a gold-digger that will bleed you dry.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 11-01-2015 at 08:55 PM..
Yeah, I've given serious thought to the overseas thing and even talked to a company about it. I just think that's an enormous risk of a woman marrying me for the wrong reasons. I may ultimately do it, but as a last resort within the next year.
I am going to do salsa, assuming my back holds up. Major issues with it that may result in surgery. I am also going to learn Spanish. So yeah, I'm continuing to do things and try. As I said earlier, it does get tiring. I'd like to be married and doing other things than what I'm having to do now.
Really need to rethink the overseas thing, most of those women that are hot to trot to marry men from other countries are usually from pretty impoverished places, and they are just marrying a meal ticket, and I've heard stories about how they want to start bring their families over and have them live with you. While get that people want to help their families out, I get it, I just wouldn't want to take the risk on of all that potential drama.
If you go to some country like Ireland or England or pretty much any non-third world nation you might have a better shot, just avoid places like Russia or The Philippines.
I would still question why a woman would be so eager to date a man from another country, I mean what's in her mindset.
Really need to rethink the overseas thing, most of those women that are hot to trot to marry men from other countries are usually from pretty impoverished places, and they are just marrying a meal ticket, and I've heard stories about how they want to start bring their families over and have them live with you. While get that people want to help their families out, I get it, I just wouldn't want to take the risk on of all that potential drama.
If you go to some country like Ireland or England or pretty much any non-third world nation you might have a better shot, just avoid places like Russia or The Philippines.
I would still question why a woman would be so eager to date a man from another country, I mean what's in her mindset.
I agree with all of this. I know of a case where I guy from the U.S. married a woman from another country, and she was only using him to get her green card. Bad idea.
I agree with all of this. I know of a case where I guy from the U.S. married a woman from another country, and she was only using him to get her green card. Bad idea.
Very true. There is always a catch. I mean they will fall head over heels for you because you are an American and a meal ticket for them. Plus when you marry them and they are in the United States with you they will then force you to bring their family members into your home to live with them or you will be forced to be sending money to them in the foreign country.
Well, I did marry the wrong woman at 37. I wasted my 30's with the wrong woman. Obviously, I didn't think she was the wrong woman at the time, but it ended up that way. I wish I'd never met her and wasted 7 years, the best years as far as attractiveness to the opposite sex. At 40, I got divorced and because of the "4" in front of my age, women no longer were interested (online, I mean). So single life for me hasn't been fun. I'm also a relationship guy who values family. How the hell am I single? Its a mystery to me and a tragedy. I don't enjoy casual dating, though thats all I do at this point (and not a lot of it) because I can't meet the right woman.
I can relate to this. I'm in the process of divorcing (at age 38) a guy I met in my late 20s. At the time I thought he would fit the bill, but I really ignored some big things I shouldn't have. Hindsight is always 20-20. There are times I wish I had never married him, but then I stop and remind myself that I've learned a lot about me and my true needs over the course of this relationship. I'm just thankful I learned these lessons 10 years in rather than 20 or 30.
I don't remember where you live, but 30- and 40-somethings where I live (west coast) lead pretty active and social lives. Many don't marry until they're in their 40s, and I know some getting married in their 50s (some are second marriages). And many are single! I would love a family one day, but what I learned in my marriage is that I'd settle for a man that makes me sublimely happy, kids or no. I guess my point is that you might want to move to a different part of the country if you're as much of a unicorn as you think...I do think these attitudes and lifestyles can vary a lot by region.
I can relate to this. I'm in the process of divorcing (at age 38) a guy I met in my late 20s. At the time I thought he would fit the bill, but I really ignored some big things I shouldn't have. Hindsight is always 20-20. There are times I wish I had never married him, but then I stop and remind myself that I've learned a lot about me and my true needs over the course of this relationship. I'm just thankful I learned these lessons 10 years in rather than 20 or 30.
I don't remember where you live, but 30- and 40-somethings where I live (west coast) lead pretty active and social lives. Many don't marry until they're in their 40s, and I know some getting married in their 50s (some are second marriages). And many are single! I would love a family one day, but what I learned in my marriage is that I'd settle for a man that makes me sublimely happy, kids or no. I guess my point is that you might want to move to a different part of the country if you're as much of a unicorn as you think...I do think these attitudes and lifestyles can vary a lot by region.
Yes, hindsight is always 20/20. I did learn a very important thing about myself, and that is where my communication issues with women came from. I set out to fix those and am a better man for it. However, I just hate that it took a divorce for that to happen, especially late in life.
I definitely need to move, and am trying to. It just takes 6 months to a year to find something suitable in my field, and I have to be careful not to make a poor decision as I have in the past. I'm far from arrogant, but I am a bit of a unicorn. I mean, I'm a professional, relationship minded, family oriented, loyal, work hard on communication and improving myself, in shape, have my hair, 6'0" (women's minimum height requirement, which is ridiculous), etc. But there just aren't many single women here, and the ones who are single are in their 20's, which is too young for me. I don't want a divorced 30 something year old with 3 kids, and usually they have no less than 2. Additionally, the women here let themselves go bad. Lastly, I'm considered old at this point. Ugh.
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