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Why would I want to approach a stranger? You always want to make this a gender thing.
It is a gender thing actually. Gender roles are still seen when it comes to these things. Some people like it, some people don’t. Most people follow it, a few don’t. Why would you want to approach a stranger? Well, as a woman, this might sound odd, you are right. But for guys this is something that happens. Guy finds a girl attractive and wants to know her so approaches her and see how things go. It’s been like that since the beginning of humanity.
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The thing is - if you are happy with your life, then you don't really need to change anything. If you aren't happy, then you should explore other options - regardless of gender
That’s right. If a woman complains because she gets hit on every day by guys that are not worth it but the new nice guy in the office doesn’t approach her and that upsets her, well, why not have her do the approaching? I mean, she already saw someone that SHE LIKES. As most women, she could just wait and hope he approaches her one day and takes her out OR she could simply take the initiative to ask for his number, offer hers, ask him out, take him out, romance him, and so on. Now she has more options that work in her favor. This is something women can take advantage of but not so many do.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
It is a gender thing actually. Gender roles are still seen when it comes to these things. Some people like it, some people don’t. Most people follow it, a few don’t. Why would you want to approach a stranger? Well, as a woman, this might sound odd, you are right. But for guys this is something that happens. Guy finds a girl attractive and wants to know her so approaches her and see how things go. It’s been like that since the beginning of humanity.
I can't say I can recall ever just randomly walking up to a woman I didn't know and trying to start a convo. That would be super weird. Would would inspire me to do so?
If we're at the same event and next to each other and start talking about the band, or brewery, or game or whatever... that's something I'd do independent if male/female/old/young... its just being social... But just walking up to someone randomly? I'm with Dew on that. Not sure why I would even think to do it.
It is a gender thing actually. Gender roles are still seen when it comes to these things. Some people like it, some people don’t. Most people follow it, a few don’t. Why would you want to approach a stranger? Well, as a woman, this might sound odd, you are right. But for guys this is something that happens. Guy finds a girl attractive and wants to know her so approaches her and see how things go. It’s been like that since the beginning of humanity.
So, men see something pretty and want to approach it. Well, maybe men and women are wired differently. If so, how can you blame women for not going about things the same way as men do?
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That’s right. If a woman complains because she gets hit on every day by guys that are not worth it but the new nice guy in the office doesn’t approach her and that upsets her, well, why not have her do the approaching? I mean, she already saw someone that SHE LIKES. As most women, she could just wait and hope he approaches her one day and takes her out OR she could simply take the initiative to ask for his number, offer hers, ask him out, take him out, romance him, and so on. Now she has more options that work in her favor. This is something women can take advantage of but not so many do.
Well, guess what? I DO tell my friends to make a move if there is someone that they are interested in. Wow. What a concept. What I don't tell them is to ask out strangers at a bar. And I don't have any friends that get hit on every day but haven't been asked out by the nice guy at the office. Some of my friends don't get hit on at all. And some of my friends just pick the wrong guys. But a lot of my friends picked the right guys.
That’s right. If a woman complains because she gets hit on every day by guys that are not worth it but the new nice guy in the office doesn’t approach her and that upsets her, well, why not have her do the approaching? I mean, she already saw someone that SHE LIKES. As most women, she could just wait and hope he approaches her one day and takes her out OR she could simply take the initiative to ask for his number, offer hers, ask him out, take him out, romance him, and so on. Now she has more options that work in her favor. This is something women can take advantage of but not so many do.
OnihC, women do approach guys they find interesting. They'll chat up the guy at work, they may even ask him to have lunch together. This is not earth-shaking news.
Yes G.Belle, they certainly do. I do think he meant women over childbearing age have no value in the dating market, because he surely realizes that I don't give a rat's arse about whether he wants to date me. But then he did say that women in general have much much better luck than men in finding a date, yet I wonder who he thinks we're dating? I am so sick of these ignorant comments and will call them out when I see them.
And thank you for your kind comments.
No, he simply understands what men find attractive and why. Not only that, he is 100% correct. Men are attracted to younger and beautiful women because of the large window for child bearing and beauty being a sign of fertility. It is part of our biological makeup and no amount of wishful thinking is ever going to change that. Odd thing, all women intuitively know this, but wont admit. Plastic surgery industry says so.
I can't say I can recall ever just randomly walking up to a woman I didn't know and trying to start a convo. That would be super weird. Would would inspire me to do so?
If we're at the same event and next to each other and start talking about the band, or brewery, or game or whatever... that's something I'd do independent if male/female/old/young... its just being social... But just walking up to someone randomly? I'm with Dew on that. Not sure why I would even think to do it.
Perhaps I'm misinterpreting the scenario though.
There is nothing weird about approaching a woman that you find attractive. In fact, its the most natural thing in the world. To think otherwise is troublesome.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Originally Posted by Question2015
There is nothing weird about approaching a woman that you find attractive. In fact, its the most natural thing in the world. To think otherwise is troublesome.
Well I wouldn't be actually attracted to someone I have never interacted with, would I?
Do you mean if I found them physically good looking? Those are dime a dozen, and its far from a good enough reason to walk up to someone and say beautiful weather we're having, or whatever corny thing a person would say in such a situation (I'm guessing). If I did that I'd be walking up randomly to 20 people I likely have nothing in common with a day. Sounds pretty ridiculous.
There is nothing weird about approaching a woman that you find attractive. In fact, its the most natural thing in the world. To think otherwise is troublesome.
A woman could be attractive physically but what else do you know about her? That's not enough to get me to ask a woman out on a date.
A woman could be attractive physically but what else do you know about her? That's not enough to get me to ask a woman out on a date.
Nope. But at least enough to have you approach her and break the ice to start a conversation. The only times a woman has done that to me is when I lived in Japan or travel around Asia.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
You’ve never approached a girl you found attractive?
Again, terminology. I'm not going to be attracted to someone I haven't interacted with. I can think they're physically good looking, of course, but there are good looking people everywhere, I have no reason to randomly walk up to them.
Now, if we're at something like I said, a brewery where people are discussing the brew, or a concert where we're at the same band, or a art opening or whatever... that's a different thing. There I'm just talking to people because it is a social environment. If the person I'm talking to happens to be female and fun to talk to and I become attracted, awesome.
I too met someone I dated at a bus stop. She had a bag with a motif of something I was familiar with and commented on it. We kept talking and some chemistry was there, so it went from there, but I would have commented on it if she was too old, or too young, or a dude with the bag... it was just being social.
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