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Your premise is incorrect from the get-go. Just because a woman doesn't want to be a "Pick up artist" (your words) does not mean she's terrified of asking men out.
I have asked men out before, multiple times. It doesn't make me a pick up artist, nor do I want to be one. Do you even know what that term means?
agreed, the premise is flawed. And the reference to pick up artist seems to have been missed by some posters, and possibly misunderstood by the OP, as a result the thread is chaotic.
Being a "pickup artist" implies that the goal is to seduce and have sex with lots of people. This is easy for women to do it they want and such women are indeed called sluts.
Could you be one?
Or is the thought of picking up guys terrifying, and you would rather remain passive and wait for stars to align and maybe have a guy approach you?
LMAO!
A woman who is a pick-up artist just lets the men think approaching her is their idea.
Men have roles as nurturers too. Anyone who grew up in a home with a good father knows this is true. They nurture differently than women do, but it's still nurturing. If you don't believe that, it's your choice and a convenient one at that because you can continue to make an argument such as yours and still claim to not be a hypocrite.
Short of that acknowledgment there are still some flaws in your reasoning. To make the argument that women's roles as nurturers renders them subject to higher standard doesn't pass the sniff test. Why does this mean being held to a higher standard? What are men's roles and why are these NOT a basis for a higher standard?
"Nurturing" was the wrong word. I do believe that both men and women can be nurturing, as you said, in different ways.
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Originally Posted by April R
That's actually pretty cool of you. What ethnicity are you? I personally prefer shorter guys, so it's great you're not letting height or race hold you back.
I'm white.
Women seem to care far more about both the height and race issues than I ever did. So I typically don't try for that reason (too much effort). This girl is something else though. I've known her for almost 2 years and she keeps getting better. She's worth the extra effort, if needed.
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Originally Posted by Metaphysique
Providers, disciplinarians, authoritarians, head of the household, master, lord, etc.?
Nope never said that. I actually tend to date women more on the independent side (usually with careers). However, I'd still prefer those that don't and have never slept around.
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Well, that is true for him and how he sees his role as a spouse. Oh wait. He's not married.
Is no marriage better than one failed marriage?
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I find his views backward and antiquated if he's attempting to claim they should be universal or his view is absolute rather than his vision for his own family unit.
I do believe that the family unit has taken a major hit due to the shift in gender roles and that, ultimately, society would benefit from the stability that comes along with defined roles, as well as an inability to divorce.
So, yes, I absolutely believe that this should be universal. But I don't make the rules. So I'm trying to choose wisely the first time.
They have full control, anything else would be rape.
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Originally Posted by April R
Maybe it's a generational or cultural thing, but I can confidently tell you when I was a college student my Freshmen year at BYU there were plenty of girls who did the asking out, the I think you are attractive let's go on a date, hey you fella yes you I think you and me should go to the student dance on Saturday. ....etc
I can attribute this to the lack of sexual expectations on the part of both parties, since the most scandalous activity a coed could get away with at BYU without risking expulsion was making out . Guys didn't feel the need to pursue a woman hoping for Sex and women didn't feel the need to resist men or screen them a head of time for sexual interest. It's also why there are several very young married couples who get married after only dating for a few months. Women would pursue more if they had more control over how their bodies and time were used by men. Since our culture as a whole dismisses women as the sexual objects of men's pleasure, then that will never happen. The only way to even out the score is to either give women the power to objectify men as much or to take out the expectation of Sex while just dating from both genders.
So a LDR, a hard core religoius, and a married guy. Need I say more?
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Originally Posted by April R
I've literally laid a sexual proposition in a guy's lap before, more than once, and this was after distinct he would love to screw me communication was established on his part, and been soundly rejected. I have gotten various excuses or reasons why, my husband being one who wanted to wait until marriage, another guy didn't want the pressure of me flying to see him and me expecting him to perform so he chickened out, another guy was in a committed relationship and finally realized our interaction was crossing a line when I wanted to take it all the way.
Women try to pick guys up and be the aggressor all the time but it tends to scare guys off, so what is the point? Men say they'd love a sexually aggressive woman but when it comes right down to it my experience tells me different.
Just waiting on the guys to chime in that I'm not sexy or attractive enough and that's why I've been turned down for sex. Like women need more reasons to hate ourselves.
So a LDR, a hard core religoius, and a married guy. Need I say more?
I didn't claim they were unpredictable rejections, but they were guys I really liked, two of them I love, and it shattered my preconceived notion that all guys take sex whenever it's offered.
They have full control, anything else would be rape.
We do not have control over societal expectation of how we should look, dress, carry, and use our bodies. If you can't understand that rape isn't the only way a woman's body is violated by our Western culture then I can't help you get why women have it just as hard as men when it comes to sexual dysfunction and relationship difficulties .
Because one was not around to have it with you and the other was married (persumably happily) otherwise he might have.
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Originally Posted by April R
I didn't claim they were unpredictable rejections, but they were guys I really liked, two of them I love, and it shattered my preconceived notion that all guys take sex whenever it's offered.
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