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@Zelpha I think that is a little exaggerated. It all depends upon his belief. If he still believes in the church he will be conflicted and feel like he is doing something wrong. If he leaves the church and stops believing he will transition just fine. Of course upbringing is influential however it really depends on the person and their personal experience. I come from first hand experience.
I think he's trying to keep one foot in each world. It seems he came from a loving, solid family, and the church is all a part of that. I understand why he wouldn't want to let that go. But at the same time, the Mormon lifestyle is so repressive. I understand why he deviates from it.
I may have sounded a bit exaggerated in my post but it's probably because it's an emotionally-charged topic for me. Being Mormon during my prime years of life both made me and destroyed me. Being Mormon is such a mind-bender, nearly impossible to psychologically recover from the deep love & agony that come from being devoutly Mormon in mainstream society.
These are my concerns. He seems so open minded and okay with so many aspects of my life that Mormons usually wouldn't be. I have already been married, i am agnostic, and we dated while i was separated. We have also had sex before marriage. He has never once pushed me to go to church and i doubt he ever would. I want to give us a chance but i wonder if later down the road more is going to come up and if he is hiding it, or if eventually he will just tell me he can't be with me.
I think he's trying to keep one foot in each world. It seems he came from a loving, solid family, and the church is all a part of that. I understand why he wouldn't want to let that go. But at the same time, the Mormon lifestyle is so repressive. I understand why he deviates from it.
I may have sounded a bit exaggerated in my post but it's probably because it's an emotionally-charged topic for me. Being Mormon during my prime years of life both made me and destroyed me. Being Mormon is such a mind-bender, nearly impossible to psychologically recover from the deep love & agony that come from being devoutly Mormon in mainstream society.
I grew up in the church so I understand. However I don't think it ruined me. I have a loving family who are still very involved and they still love me although I have left the church. That is why I say it depends on the person. It is tough to transition the fairy land of everlasting life and eternal families. It's hard to believe this life is it. I have made my peace and I don't regret living my life as I have. I can't change the past only the now and future.
These are my concerns. He seems so open minded and okay with so many aspects of my life that Mormons usually wouldn't be. I have already been married, i am agnostic, and we dated while i was separated. We have also had sex before marriage. He has never once pushed me to go to church and i doubt he ever would. I want to give us a chance but i wonder if later down the road more is going to come up and if he is hiding it, or if eventually he will just tell me he can't be with me.
These are my concerns. He seems so open minded and okay with so many aspects of my life that Mormons usually wouldn't be. I have already been married, i am agnostic, and we dated while i was separated. We have also had sex before marriage. He has never once pushed me to go to church and i doubt he ever would. I want to give us a chance but i wonder if later down the road more is going to come up and if he is hiding it, or if eventually he will just tell me he can't be with me.
It does sound like he is still unsure. If he had left the church he would be more open. IMO Mormons are not that different from the rest of the world...they are different from person to person and family to family. So it really depends. I do think you need to sit down and have a talk. IMO your sexual relationship is not healthy. I would not accept that as a partner.
Who cares? Do you really have that much time on your hands that you are searching out other websites? People on here need to relax. All the posting history police around here are freaking annoying. Maybe she wanted more opinions. Sheesh.
I agree. I posted on a few sites about this, some were ex mormon sites as i wanted to know opinions of people who had left the church and know about Mormonism. I also posted here for more opinions. I don't really see what the huge deal is about asking advice on a few forums.
Yeah i think i need to talk to him, he just seems reluctant to speak about it, but i will have to approach it in such a way that he doesn't feel interrogated
I read a few of the posts. You have to keep in mind a lot of the people on there are deeply bitter and hate the church. I left the church but I have no bad feelings. You do need to find out about his family though. You should push that you want to meet them before you get more involved. He is conflicted and your relationship isn't healthy. You need to push the communication so you can make an informed choice before you get in too deep.
Last edited by Mindlessness; 11-02-2015 at 10:29 PM..
Thank you for the advice and suggestions. Yeah i do need to meet them. I ignore the posts too that say it is a cult and make fun of them or ask him to leave the church. Regardless of me not having the same beliefs i respect them and would never do any of those things, which is why i asked on here. I assumed it would be less biased.
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