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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
He's a confident, good looking guy who has his **** together. If he lived in this area, he'd actually be the mythical unicorn.
Ha, only on City Data could I ever be considered good looking, or confident, while most would say (or they do here) I'm average to below average (and many have told me my self esteem is too low too). **** together? Other than earning jack squat, yeah, kinda, I guess...
while most would say (or they do here) I'm average to below average
Well, in the world of wisdom that is C-D, we're all unattractive otherwise we wouldn't be on here complaining about being single. Because, duh, that's the only reason people are single.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
Well, in the world of wisdom that is C-D, we're all unattractive otherwise we wouldn't be on here complaining about being single. Because, duh, that's the only reason people are single.
Pretty sure my IQ just dropped typing that out.
I know you are kidding, but I'm definitely single (but dating around)... and I actually think looks and dating success are one of the lowest correlations I've seen.
This is incorrect. I very much want a LTR. I'd actually prefer to get married.
I just never go into a first meeting with expectations. I'm just going out to talk to someone new, have a few drinks and hope for some type of connection. I just keep it that simple. It would be idiotic of me to put pressure on what type of connection I may or may not have with someone I don't know... and of course I can't want a LTR with that person since I don't know them.
Nothing happens without fun and laughs, so that's all that matters at the beginning. If those are there, then keep moving forward. It really is quite simple.
Oh okay. I have a better understanding then. Towards the end of my online dating tenure, I can remember getting the feeling that I just wasn't what some of the women were after, but I wasn't a bad guy. Some of these women still missed an ex and wanted that ex back in their life. Even if they had been through several break ups and make ups with that ex, they still wanted to make it work if they had the option. At times I felt I was the holding pattern for them to keep their dating game from becoming rusty.
I know my problem was that I bought way too much into the constant talking and texting before a first meet. Then either I, her, or both of us were disappointed after the meet. I also ran into the I thought I was ready for dating, but turns out that I just don't have the time for it. It seemed like a true statement with a couple of women, since we're Facebook friends, and there's never been a mention of a new guy.
I know of a woman right now that created an online dating profile, and within the first paragraph she mentioned that she doesn't even know if she's ready to meet someone, but here she is on an online dating website. Talk about mixed signals, but it's also because she feels mixed on dating too. She doesn't know if she has the time to meet someone, but she doesn't want to feel as if she's inactive as well.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
Oh okay. I have a better understanding then. Towards the end of my online dating tenure, I can remember getting the feeling that I just wasn't what some of the women were after, but I wasn't a bad guy. Some of these women still missed an ex and wanted that ex back in their life. Even if they had been through several break ups and make ups with that ex, they still wanted to make it work if they had the option. At times I felt I was the holding pattern for them to keep their dating game from becoming rusty.
I know my problem was that I bought way too much into the constant talking and texting before a first meet. Then either I, her, or both of us were disappointed after the meet. I also ran into the I thought I was ready for dating, but turns out that I just don't have the time for it. It seemed like a true statement with a couple of women, since we're Facebook friends, and there's never been a mention of a new guy.
I know of a woman right now that created an online dating profile, and within the first paragraph she mentioned that she doesn't even know if she's ready to meet someone, but here she is on an online dating website. Talk about mixed signals, but it's also because she feels mixed on dating too. She doesn't know if she has the time to meet someone, but she doesn't want to feel as if she's inactive as well.
It happens. The last person I dated I was super into (as I've talked about on here) and I was effectively the rebound (the lover and hang out friend while she healed), and she's out dating around/playing the field now, while still not really wanting a relationship. As she put it last time we discussed stuff "I really want to find some people where I have interesting conversations with, with and without clothes" (paraphrase). That's the world, so don't do what I did there (and generally avoid doing) and get emotionally invested to fast or too early. It's hard though if the chemistry is there. I get that.
It's still great meeting new cute women and having those early dates, even if it doesn't go beyond that.
While you are free to do so, but I think it would be polite to at least suggest something else.
I don't know...maybe I was just raised differently.
Exactly. How hard is it to say "I am not fond of coffee, how about ice cream?"
I'm all about the quick meet like that if I have never met the guy.
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It happens. The last person I dated I was super into (as I've talked about on here) and I was effectively the rebound (the lover and hang out friend while she healed), and she's out dating around/playing the field now, while still not really wanting a relationship. As she put it last time we discussed stuff "I really want to find some people where I have interesting conversations with, with and without clothes" (paraphrase). That's the world, so don't do what I did there (and generally avoid doing) and get emotionally invested to fast or too early. It's hard though if the chemistry is there. I get that.
It's still great meeting new cute women and having those early dates, even if it doesn't go beyond that.
Meeting new women stopped being fun for me. I had reached a point where I was over continuously meeting new women and it just not going anywhere. I can understand how other people enjoy it, because it is exciting; however, I just ended up not liking it anymore.
The biggest reason was that I was starting to get a little jaded. I started to get the attitude that all the women were the same, but yet I kept trying, because not much in life comes easy. During that time I had FWBs on and off too, so it wasn't all bad. I can truly say though that meeting people over and over got old.
I never propose coffee. I ask them out for drinks. Not a meal, but drinks. And definitely not something where you are distracted from talking to each other (movie, etc). First meeting is just to determine if you want to go on a date, and conversation and chemistry will determine that.
And 10 messages, while not unheard of, is on the high end before asking someone to grab a drink.
This! Drinks is a default, unless you can find a mutually enjoyable activity. This goes for whether you meet someone through a site/app or offline.
When I said I do not like coffee at all, I meant that.
Even the smell.
I went out with some ladies today, and I could barely stand it as the one right beside me was drinking coffee.
Me suffering through that on a first date would not be fair to the guy....
But the point of the OP is that meeting for coffee is the only thing he suggests, and he is batting .000 with that.
I can't stand it either, and I find coffee breath utterly repulsive.
I thought this was going to be a thread about serial murderers.
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Exactly. How hard is it to say "I am not fond of coffee, how about ice cream?"
