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The thread title was a joke right? I mean you're you were dating, and had a good time on those dates and had some sex too. What is the protocol for breaking up? Everyone is a little different, some might act beechy for weeks/months before breaking up. Others may text it to you after a great weekend away. Others may act totally happy and then drop the axe. What happened to you wasn't getting used it was a tender break up, stop feeling sorry for yourself....especially when you basically told her the whole length of the relationship that she wasn't marriage or mommy material for you. LOL wAFJ!
Have to agree with this. I don't see where the OP was "used." the ability to have a family is important to a lot of people (male and female). It can cause a lot of internal conflict to fall for someone who has different goals in that areas. People have known to be "stuck" there, hoping e other person will change for months, even years. She was there for a week. Cut her some slack.
OP looked out for his interests, and drew some hard lines, Why did he get upset when she essentially did the same? Face it, you guys were not compatible.
I'm guessing she is trying to manipulate you into marriage. First she stayed 5 months, lots of sex, and then bam, she's crying,(she really likes you), but she now decided she wants to settle down and have kids. (don't you want to marry me so I'll stop crying and then you can be my hero and white knight.)
She was hoping to change your mind/you. You know the whole, "I'll be the one to change him! Afterall, LOVE conquers all!!"-- schtick. It finally dawned on her that you were stuck in your ways and wants, so she decided to move on. Done.
In the near future, I'd expect this sort of thing to happen a lot to you. It will happen until you get so old all that's left are the women who will settle because they can't have children (too old or whatever) or have already had children and/or marriage.
Good luck!
What a stupid post. Yeah, I guess I should inform my G/F that she's "settling" for me.
OP, your post is pretty misleading with the title. However, I've been in your shoes and had this happen after being with someone for close to a year and a half. It sucks, but it happens. People change their mind all the time. If you date someone with kids already who definitely does not want more I think the chances of this happening again are much lower.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
I'm guessing she is trying to manipulate you into marriage. First she stayed 5 months, lots of sex, and then bam, she's crying,(she really likes you), but she now decided she wants to settle down and have kids. (don't you want to marry me so I'll stop crying and then you can be my hero and white knight.)
Oh give it up. To you women are always trying to manipulate and use men. She just had a realization. These big ones usually happen 3-5 mos into new relationships. She was honest about it. That's all you can ask.
Oh give it up. To you women are always trying to manipulate and use men. She just had a realization. These big ones usually happen 3-5 mos into new relationships. She was honest about it. That's all you can ask.
Right?
I love how all the usual suspects are crying foul at the woman. She didn't string him along. She was with him for a few months, and wanted to make sure she knew what she wanted before she gave up on someone she liked. That's admirable.
What frightens me is that some of the rotten old farts on this thread are married. I pity your poor wives.
OP, stuff happens. This is dating. Dust yourself off and move on, or don't. But don't throw someone under the bus for behaving appropriately.
As for women complaining that men do that too, that's idiotic. No one gets "used" for sex. Let's just put that bull**** myth out to pasture already. Sex is sex. If you are using sex to get a relationship, then maybe YOU are the one doing the using, eh?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
I would question why someone who was more undecided on children would get involved with someone who was staunchly against children in the first place.
Because they liked the other person. Goodness grief. I wonder if some people here have ever had real relationships. It isn't about being rational or logical at the beginning, it is about being attracted to the other person and having chemistry.
Because they liked the other person. Goodness grief. I wonder if some people here have ever had real relationships. It isn't about being rational or logical at the beginning, it is about being attracted to the other person and having chemistry.
You beat me to it.
Also, the OP himself said that the relationship wasn't going to lead to marriage. She liked him and wanted to have fun. Then when she realized she wanted more, she told him.
I would question why someone who was more undecided on children would get involved with someone who was staunchly against children in the first place.
Because she was undecided? She dated the OP for a few months to see if the relationship could give her all she needed so she would be OK without the promise of marriage or a child. After the trial period, she realized it wasn't enough. That's how short relationships work.
I think the OP is going to have a hard time finding a woman his age who is willing, from the very beginning of the relationship, to accept that he will never marry her. That kind of stuff works better for older divorced people.
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What a stupid post. Yeah, I guess I should inform my G/F that she's "settling" for me.
