Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I got screamed at yesterday for stating I would consider it a major lack of logic for someone who has a stance to get involved with someone who had a staunchly different take of the stance. The stance was having children, not exactly a what's for dinner question that can be negotiated? Sorry, not sorry, I would definitely say getting involved with someone who might want children when you DEFINITELY don't want children shows a lack of critical thinking and logic. People tried to come at me with you'll logic yourself to the singles ward of the nursing home, call me when you selected a partner on logic,etc.
My point is logic should not be cast aside when choosing who to date and more importantly who NOT to date. If you as a childfree person want to get involved with someone who wants kids? Fine, but you have no right to complain when you get dumped or are forced to make a tough decision of whether to have kids to keep them or not when you could have avoided that noise by not getting involved with someone who had a different take than you on such a crucial issue.
Alright CD, commence on telling me I'm nothing because I've never been in a substantial romantic relationship. Ain't nothing I've never heard before.
Far better to be alone than with someone incompatible! It would be insane to go along with some gal who wants a kid and you don't.
Stay the course, bro!
Of course the simple answer to the question you pose, is that people who date incompatible (but "hot") people are "thinking with the little head" - no doubt you already knew that!
OP - possibly because your current tactics are not working for you.
It's really frustrating to have someone make a mistake, ask for advice, receive that advice ignore it, make the same mistake, ask for advice, receive that advice, ignore it...
and so on...forever more...
Its just a vicious circle that never stops, with YOU in the middle of it.
Possibly you are the only one who finds this repetition satisfying or anything other than frustrating and ridiculous.
Yes, I live by a mostly yes or no thought process, but on a big issue like children, that is a very black or white issue and any compromise will likely work to the detriment of one party's wishes. I'm reporting on my interactions with people, more than likely day 70% of the time when I meet a woman for the first time, she will likely be one to mention her relationship goals include having a family at some point and she will not be willing to invest time in someone who DEFINITELY does not want kids. Just my observations from the women I've come across.
If you are meeting women from the general population, yeah, you will have about a 70 to 80% reject rate, that's about the proportion that want kids.
You need to do some intelligent online dating with one of the "child-free" websites. I don't know which ones are good, but the only way to sort out the c.f. wheat from the "breeder" chaff, is either to go with pre-vetted people from OLD, or ask that awkward question on the first date (which, 70% of the time, is going to be the last date).
You'll save yourself a lot of heartache by being logical and selecting a mate that has similar beliefs on big subjects like kids. Makes sense to me.
You're also going to find it much harder to find someone who operates in this manner.
Not many people want or are capable of taking themsleves out of the moment long enough to understand why they are the way they are or why they may be doing what they are doing in the moments they do them.
Every hear the experiasion "we all make mistakes"?
This is a related expression intended to boil the difficulty of understanding ones self down and express the difficulty we have overcoming the influences we experience in our lives moment to moment.
Logic requires an understanding to make and take a desired action, Even the most "logical" of people find times where they are without a good understanding of something and as a result make bad choices for themsleves.
Last edited by rego00123; 11-05-2015 at 02:31 PM..
If you are meeting women from the general population, yeah, you will have about a 70 to 80% reject rate, that's about the proportion that want kids.
You need to do some intelligent online dating with one of the "child-free" websites. I don't know which ones are good, but the only way to sort out the c.f. wheat from the "breeder" chaff, is either to go with pre-vetted people from OLD, or ask that awkward question on the first date (which, 70% of the time, is going to be the last date).
OKC worked really well for me, I didn't know about the child-free sites but that is another alternative. As it turns out my G/F of a year had a child when she was 20, but she is now grown and on her own. Others I dated didn't have women and stated emphatically they did not want them. I forget how old the OP is, mid to late 20's? He might have better luck dating someone older who has kids who are late teen's or beyond. In any case, you do have options. If all else fails, keep trying those EDM clubs!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
I think that if you haven't been in love - then you can't really understand what it's like and how it can affect you.
What I'm trying to do is to cut a potentially detrimental relationship off BEFORE I catch feelings and fall in love with someone who I ain't compatible with.
What I'm trying to do is to cut a potentially detrimental relationship off BEFORE I catch feelings and fall in love with someone who I ain't compatible with.
But by approaching things with such a clinical outlook, without using emotion, you also could be overlooking some amazing people.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
But by approaching things with such a clinical outlook, without using emotion, you also could be overlooking some amazing people.
Amazing people who don't want the same things I want out of life. What good is that to me?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
