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Everyone has at some point in his life done something inconsiderate or rude. Maybe it was at a date, maybe at work or in some other situation. All I am suggesting is that we do not judge people so harshly.
I agree, but the more I read the OP's post, it sounds more like SHE's the one who's not that into him. If that's the case, she's already made up her mind.
Like I said, that is why there are so many lonely people around. Everyone has this set of rules that he/she expects the other to strictly adhere to. One slip-up - and you're out.
A "slip-up" is accidentally having a piece of food stuck in your teeth during dinner.
Ranting for 20 straight minutes about "what he hates about really religious people" during their FIRST PHONE CALL is a red flag.
A "slip-up" is accidentally having a piece of food stuck in your teeth during dinner.
Ranting for 20 straight minutes about "what he hates about really religious people" during their FIRST PHONE CALL is a red flag.
It's not even an appropriate subject matter.
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All of this "give him one more chance, maybe he had a bad day..." suggestions sound like an excerpt from "He's Just Not That Into You."
People need to learn to listen to their instincts.
Things were going fairly well, but suddenly he reveals this side of himself that is VERY unattractive to the OP. SO WHY waste one hour sitting with him in person if a phone call does the trick???
No need to fabricate excuses about WHY he possibly did something that, in most society, is rude at the least and completely inconsiderate at best. It was rude and obnoxious and yes, a big fat red flag the OP should heed.
No. But I always thought dating was not about putting up an extra-high extra-thick set of walls all around you, but about finding a person you would be willing to allow through those walls.
What is the big deal. You just barely met the guy. So he stated his opinions to you on religion.
Was what he said racist, discriminatory, or hateful?
1. If so and you are not in agreement with this then drop him.
or
2. If not then he is just being indifferent to religious people and telling you that he doesn't want to have a relationship with someone who is overly religious.
He doesn't want to waste his or your time if you both didn't share this very important topic in all relationships. I must add that you don't normally talk about things of this subject this early in getting to know someone new. But you should be actually grateful because if you happened to be religious you would have dropped him and he would have dropped you. Leaving at the very beginning is much easier than 5 years down the road when time invested and feelings play a role.
You both seem to have this in common so go out on a date with him and talk about something else. If it doesn't workout after the date then go ahead and drop him.
Don't believe all the other crap people will say on here. Most, but not all of them can't maintain their own relationships if they even have one.
LOL This poster has some good points. And to be honest with you OP, I don't care for overly religious people either. They are my pet peeve, and I'm not very fond of organized religion. I feel it is rampant with hypocrites and the most judgemental people on the face of the earth. It's like a way to dislike and judge others under the guise of being 'religious'. If you gave me a chance and asked my opinion, I could probably go an at least a 10 minute rant about religion.
Should you be afraid of me? Why? I believe that everyone is equal. Black, white, P. Rican, etc. I feel people should be free to live their lives as long as they are not hurting anyone. I don't feel I'm better than anyone else. I don't think people need to agree with me on every topic in order for me to be friends with them. I don't hate gay people. I'm not bat sh*t crazy. I don't have bodies in the basement. Etc...etc...etc. I just have some issues with organized religion. However, I don't care if others are religious as long as they don't shove their views down my throat. So does this makes me unworthy of dating? Well, it should only if the other person has the opposite feelings on religion. And I (perhaps like this guy you met) have these feelings because of what I have seen in this world and MY own experiences.
However, I may not have ranted so quickly about it, unless you guys were already on the subject of religion or something. (I haven't read all the posts yet). my last relationship, the guy was a bible thumper, and it was awful. So, im REALLY careful now to make sure I don't date any bible thumpers. Perhaps this guy is super careful and wants to weed those out too? Or he could be nuts. Who knows. LOL Anyway, If you are highly offended, then he succeeded in weeding you out, right? If he had met someone with MY views on religion, he would not have offended me at all. We could have ranted all day long about it. But if that's just not you, move on.
No. But I always thought dating was not about putting up an extra-high extra-thick set of walls all around you, but about finding a person you would be willing to allow through those walls.
If you had a business, and you called someone who sent you a resume, and instead of using his time on the phone to give you a good impression and to ask questions about your company and see if you're a good fit, he instead goes on a 20-minute rant about how much he hates religious people.
Would you hire that guy? Would you have him in after that for an in-person interview or would you thank him for his time and hang up thinking "that guy's a fruit loop?"
No, dating is not applying for a job, but the standards IMO should certainly not be LOWER than that for a romantic partner. He showed a very ugly, angry side of himself during his chance to make a good impression...if that's his best self, his worse could be horrible. Why on earth should OP feel she owes him a meeting if her spidey senses are all saying "yuck"?
It is absolutely not the same. When you hire someone, you only look at his job-related skills. If I am hiring a truck driver or an accountant, I don't care about his looks or his sense of humor, I only care that he can do his job well.
With dating it is everything. Looks - check, sense of humor - check, conversational skills - check, "emotional sensitivity" - check. Everything has to be perfect. And then you two go out on a date, and he does something... not perfect, like spending too much time in the bathroom or not bying the right number of flowers, or picking a wrong topic for conversation, and he is out.
I am not advocating lowering all standards, but I think both men and women would do well to take into account the other's humanity.
My fiance and I talked about everything - politics, religion, you name it - before we ever had a single date.
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