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Old 11-07-2015, 07:42 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,762,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post
He was an emotional outlet , not a physical one. A way to vent my sexual frustration without physically compromising anything. I don't really have a choice to stay married or not, since I don't have a very good reason to want to leave. People on and off this board have made it clear that a sexually unsatisfactory marriage is no reason to end things. We have children so mommy has to think about them, not herself, right?
Yeah...

But...

Having any type
of affair compromises your relationship with your significant other.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:43 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post
No, the counseling was last year. I asked my husband to see another counselor and he told me he doesn't need a third party talking about our sex life.

Yet you feel it is okay to go against his wishes and present your sex life/lack of on a public forum?

I have just figured out what I need to do.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post
... he told me he doesn't need a third party talking about our sex life.
Does he KNOW this is a make-or-break problem for you, or does he just think you want to "experiment" for fun?
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,770 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76 View Post
Why doesn't your husband want to have sex?
I can't speak for her husband but if my spouse had admitted to an emotional affair, I'd be gun-shy about physical intimacy, because trust has to be re-built.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:45 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
Have you always been sexually incompatible? Do you think his religious background plays a part in this? Is everything you brought up off the table? Are you talking kink/bdsm that he's not into, or more tame things and he's just not willing to venture outside his comfort zone?

Marriage counseling, but I wonder if going through the Church will actually resolve these issues, and whether the counselor or bishop will side with him since he's the "head of the household." While sex within the traditional religious institution of marriage is all-good, there are some acts that are frowned upon or seen as dirty/bad/worldly in nature (as in, not missionary and not for the purpose of procreation).
When we were first married it was the normal just wanting to get it on type sex of newly weds, then 2 years later the twins come along and I had horrible post partum depression and was on antidepressants and my sex drive was waaaay down. He tells me the 6 years it took me to get over the depression and both of us being full time students killed his sex drive, so now that I'm rearing to go again he isn't.

As for your other question, I'm not sure how to answer without violating the pg-13 nature of the forum. Let's just say I'd like to get pretty kinky, not just spicy. But he isn't interested in much outside of normal hetero intercourse. And I know for a fact any counseling we got through church would be pointless in trying to convince him to do to me what I want him to.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05 View Post
Yeah...

But...

Having any type
of affair compromises your relationship with your significant other.
When people feel cornered, they often try anything that "seems" less painful.

Not saying it's right. Just saying it "is."
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post
When we were first married it was the normal just wanting to get it on type sex of newly weds, then 2 years later the twins come along and I had horrible post partum depression and was on antidepressants and my sex drive was waaaay down. He tells me the 6 years it took me to get over the depression and both of us being full time students killed his sex drive, so now that I'm rearing to go again he isn't.
This is HUGE, April.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:48 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I can't speak for her husband but if my spouse had admitted to an emotional affair, I'd be gun-shy about physical intimacy, because trust has to be re-built.
But I didn't physically cheat, what I did with this other guy wasn't much different then porn. Would you feel the same way knowing your partner was looking at porn?
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:49 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
This is HUGE, April.
But now that I'm over it, it's just too bad for me? I suppose that is what I get. Karma for being sexually unavailable for so long, now I'm being punished or something.
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Old 11-07-2015, 07:50 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovergirl_916 View Post
Wish you had the chance to read my thread I posted yesterday but it got deleted , it was very similar, only difference was my boyfriend isn't interested in pleasing me or satisfying me... Im not falling for another man, I just resort to porn occasionally , but hate to say it he seems stuck in his ways if that's the case you either deal with him and love him for who he is or move on or try swinging if thats something he may be into
Hahaha, he'd NEVER consider it. Never, not in a million years of he had a gun to his head ever.
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