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I have showed him this thread actually. He agreed with me about a lot of things. He also reiterated his Lust versus love dichotomy he's fixated on. Nothing I said about EA surprised him, but he did say he thinks I need to let it go and stop talking about him. He's not interested in getting on a forum. He said that's my thing.
This is really weird (to me). Has your husband always been so.... accepting?
Seriously, my husband probably would have all but divorced me. More over the thinking I was in love with someone I've known a month and never met, than the EA.
The fact that you're husband is ok with all this, AND has read this thread........ It is definitely a type of relationship I am unable to relate to.
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I have showed him this thread actually. He agreed with me about a lot of things. He also reiterated his Lust versus love dichotomy he's fixated on. Nothing I said about EA surprised him, but he did say he thinks I need to let it go and stop talking about him. He's not interested in getting on a forum. He said that's my thing.
That's one thing we can all agree on. OG needs to be completely out of your life.
And my wife is the same way about forums. Her feeling is that she's on a computer all day for work, she doesn't want to be in front of one at home.
. Sex is just too private a topic for him. I'm not giving up on him though. I owe him that much. I'll keep asking him to go to couples therapy with me until I'm blue in the face and I'll keep seeking out an affordable non religious counselling service. Like I said, being the the Bible belt is making it very difficult to find affordable therapy that isn't "Bible based." It's like walking in the door and already being told how they plan on approaching every issue. It makes me very uncomfortable going to a "Christian Counseling " service of any kind since that is why he approaches Sex the way he does anyway.
You're not giving up on him...until he bends to your will and accommodates your libido, frequency and preferences? Are you even trying to fix your marriage, atone for your mis-steps with the EA, your past issues, or is it all about finding ways to push him to fulfill your sexual desires so then everything can be fine? He is okay with "vanilla" sex several times a week, stress causes him to not want sex, and you think you can magically change that? I really don't feel you have any respect for him at all. I don't often say this but I don't think this marriage is salvageable.
You're not giving up on him...until he bends to your will and accommodates your libido, frequency and preferences? Are you even trying to fix your marriage, atone for your mis-steps with the EA, your past issues, or is it all about finding ways to push him to fulfill your sexual desires so then everything can be fine? He is okay with "vanilla" sex several times a week, stress causes him to not want sex, and you think you can magically change that? I really don't feel you have any respect for him at all. I don't often say this but I don't think this marriage is salvageable.
Of course I'm doing all those things. You want every single detail? This thread would be 10 times as long.
That's been going strong for 3 weeks not, approximately. We are making progress, just seems to still be a mental block on his part I'm trying to break through. Mostly it's his inability to relax and enjoy the moment when we have sex. He's afraid to let himself fully enjoy everything about it, the intensity, the lust, plus the emotional bond he prioritizes and idealizes. He stays up for 30 min to an hour without finishing because he won't let himself release. It's strange. He finishes maybe once a week at the most. Most of the time he goes for so long he gets exhausted or numb and can't finish. I know some women wouldn't complain about this, but his enjoyment is a big turn on when it happens and a big let down for me when it doesn't.
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