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Wouldn't finding a spouse be soo much easier if we all came with a spec sheet that had details of who we are and a compatibility chart?
Then again.... it might just make life boring.
Probably.... but I don't think it is a black and white thing.. I also know that sometimes you fall for someone you don't quite expect.
I don't think it's a black and white thing for everyone - but it is for some people. I don't think my partner has to agree with me about everything - but there are certain things that I most certainly do want us to see eye to eye on. My husband is different than me in a lot of ways - but I'm not sure I would be with him if we didn't agree on some of the major things in life.
I don't think men are made to feel ashamed of using escort services more than the escorts are made to feel ashamed of being
sex workers. Certainly not.
Years ago, I took a couple of years off between high school and college in order to work and travel. I worked for a small but highly successful and rapidly growing company. Every summer, the owner had a huge party for our major customers and suppliers at his home. Without fail, someone would show up with a few prostitutes, and the party would go wild. Inevitably, some of the men, most of whom were married fathers, would each end up with one of the girls, including the owner, who was a big philanderer and used escorts often. Come Monday morning, however, everything went back to normal, and it was business as usual. The guys would laugh about their "antics" for weeks, and no one thought anything of it.
I really doubt that the women in the office, on the other hand, would have been able to openly have second jobs as escorts (or to use the services of male escorts) without it costing them their jobs, their families, and their professional and personal reputations.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 11-10-2015 at 06:56 PM..
It's a legitimate service considered normal in many other parts of the world, not unlike the people who are paid to bring you your food when you go to restaurant, or the people who drive you home when you're too drunk to do it yourself. Americans as a group are just uptight about this one for whatever reason. Lingering Puritan principles perhaps.
I for one never have and probably never will. Not because I have any moral issue with it but rather I just don't value the experience enough to pay what it costs. In other words it's not worth it. Perhaps if I had a *lot* more money to waste on entertainment to where it was like the equivalent of spending $20 on a fancy cocktail I would maybe partake occasionally.
Lies only cause problems. That's one of the problems with society.
People lie too much.
I could counter that and say that another problem of society is that people judge too much, especially without using logic or reason. On the other hand, I do agree that, perhaps it would be better if people not only didn't lie, but were bold enough to be who they are (within reason, of course) and own up to their values, views, etc. without fear of other people think. If they are convicted that they are justified in what they are doing, then it is what it is, I guess.
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Originally Posted by newdixiegirl
I don't think men are made to feel ashamed of using escort services more than the escorts are made to feel ashamed of being
sex workers. Certainly not.
Years ago, I took a couple of years off between high school and college in order to work and travel. I worked for a small but highly successful and rapidly growing company. Every summer, the owner had a huge party for our major customers and suppliers at his home. Without fail, someone would show up with a few prostitutes, and the party would go wild. Inevitably, some of the men, most of whom were married fathers, would each end up with one of the girls, including the owner, who was a big philanderer and used escorts often. Come Monday morning, however, everything went back to normal, and it was business as usual. The guys would laugh about their "antics" for weeks, and no one thought anything of it.
I really doubt that the women in the office, on the other hand, would have been able to openly have second jobs as escorts (or to use the services of male escorts) without it costing them their jobs, their families, and their professional and personal reputations.
Perhaps there is somewhat of a double standard. I probably don't think like the "typical American man", though. I think the issue (whether or not some men want to admit it) with dating a girl who has been in that business or even one who is known to have "been around the block" is the idea that she just might not be able to be faithful or able to be satisfied with just one dude.
Its not a strawman.. because it absolutely is related to the discussion you are promoting.
No. A strawman is arguing against a point someone has not made by implying they did. It is often done to set up the other party to "lose" by arguing against faulty points they never made which are easier to refute than their actual argument.
This is not only illogical, but also dishonest.
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You insist there is a difference of between people and prostitutes. I assert that prostitutes are people.
At no point did I ever make nor imply such a statement.
I told you to stop replying to me because you put words in my mouth and assign opinions to me I only do not hold but emphatically do not agree with.
Again, this is intellectually dishonest.
Your reading comprehension is terrible. You have 100% misunderstood every point I have made and twisted it into something entirely different, sometimes the exact opposite of anything I said.
I do not debate with people who cannot listen to or comprehend other arguments because they use black and white thinking and are hellbent on being right instead of seeing the wider reality.
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You insist there is a difference between labor and prostitution. I assert that it is just like any other type of labor.
Yes, there is a difference between prostitution and labor in the minds of many people. Just like there is a difference between selling people and objects.
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The only distinction you have come forward with measured against your definition of morality. Some do not find it immoral to have casual sex. Some do not find it immoral to sell your own labor.
Whoa genius! I ALREADY SAID THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT IDEAS ON MORALITY. Read again. Actually READ instead of jumping to idiotic conclusions becuase you're hellbent on making a strawman so you can feel "right".
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You call it "common view on morality"... so define it. There are millions of people who would not find a moral objection... are you sure it is a minority view... or just the one less admitted.
I already did define it REEEEEEAAAAAD. It's not that hard to REEAAAD.
If it was not a common viewpoint, then this thread would not exist. That is why the social shaming happens!!!!!
People have moral objections to it, so they shame.
All I was doing was answering the OP's inquiry as to WHY social shaming happens.
Not once did I bring laws into it, what I think should/shouldn't be done, etc. All of that was your strawman.
You can only speak for yourself and your own preferences. You cannot control how other people feel. There are women on here that agree with you and think that as long as it's in the past - it doesn't matter. Others feel differently and they are free to feel differently. Let me ask you this - would you date someone that you met through OLD or a party or something if you found out that she used to be a hooker? Would you be okay if she lied to you about it?
Like I've said before, I would not date someone that had been to escorts/hookers. Our views on sex would not be compatible. I also wouldn't date someone that lied to me. I am free to feel this way. You would also be free to reject me on the grounds that you find me too judgmental. These things go both ways. You can only determine what is relevant to you. You cannot determine what is relevant to someone else.
So if a desperate guy out of college went to a sex worker once he is finished in your eyes? You will never date him just because he happened to use an escort at one point in his life? It is of course your choice. But I hope you realize that this judgmental attitude just means that you will most likely never learn about the real sexual history of your partner.
In many parts of the world visiting working girls ins't a problem, its actually embraced, or at least not demonized..
I can't help but to feel a bit confused...... be feel a little bit stigmatized... not for the typical reasons, but for ego reasons, my ego can't help but to feel little a little sad.... it's sad to me, sad that I had to pay a woman, a woman couldn't be with me unless I paid for her time, how lame am I if I can't get a woman to simply hang out with me... I have to pay her, she doesn't want anyting to do with me unless I hand over some cash
How lame is that, I mean when you lay it out and really think about it... a woman wouldn't be with me unless I paid her money........ she wouldn't be wilth me unless I paid her money.....
Think about that when you're pounding your chest about how macho you are.... she wouldn't be there unless you paid her.....
Let that resonate with our local chest thumpers a bit.....
I can definitely get a woman to hang out with me, haven't been so successful with 120 lb D-cups that say all the right sweet-nothings as your toes curl
So if a desperate guy out of college went to a sex worker once he is finished in your eyes? You will never date him just because he happened to use an escort at one point in his life? It is of course your choice. But I hope you realize that this judgmental attitude just means that you will most likely never learn about the real sexual history of your partner.
Like I said - you are free to view me as judgmental. This has never been a problem in any of my relationships. Do you believe that every single man in the world has been to a hooker and lies about it?
We all have preferences in dating. Some people simply don't find certain things attractive and refuse to date said person as a result. I don't see any wrong with that. When it comes to attraction and dating.... we are all judgmental. It is normal human behavior. Everyone is entitled to their OWN preferences for a mate.
What I do believe is wrong is looking down on people as a result of those personal biases.
So I think it is ok to say "I won't date a guy who has been with hookers."
I DO NOT think it is ok to public shame the guy for having been with hookers.
I won't date a gay male (I am straight) but I certainly will respect him. It certainly doesn't mean I am passing judgement on his chosen sexual preference either.
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