15 things a single man should never do. (how to, sex, attractive)
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The minute you say "I love you" you lose any leverage because she knows she got you by her little fingers. You better be damn sure that is what you want before you drop the l word.
Better to find out sooner than later that you're in a relationship with someone who treats it like a power struggle.
Vulnerability is pretty much a necessity for a deep and lasting relationship. If you cannot trust someone, then no, maybe you shouldnt toss the word "love" around.
The minute you say "I love you" you lose any leverage because she knows she got you by her little fingers. You better be damn sure that is what you want before you drop the l word.
I remember saying it.... We're were drinking some wine and I blurted it out... I love you. He said.. Is that you talking or the wine? I said, it was me ... Talking to the wine.
This is obvious. Not holding eye contact is a sign that you lack confidence.
It is unfortunate that society has to function this way. It may be true, but I don't see why that would make someone just not a viable option just because they lack confidence. Then again, I guess if one wanted to get into the whole biological need for many women to want security, I guess I can see it in a primal sense if I really wanted to delve into it.
But in a more evolved sense, I would think that such has little bearing on whether or not a person is a good person and, therefore, shouldn't disqualify a person entirely. But hey, I guess there goes me and my idealism...
In my opinion, it's a good thing that women value confidence highly. This is something that any man can acquire and evens the playing field when competing with more genetically gifted men (those that have extreme good looks and height).
This is obvious. Not holding eye contact is a sign that you lack confidence.
It is unfortunate that society has to function this way. It may be true, but I don't see why that would make someone just not a viable option just because they lack confidence. Then again, I guess if one wanted to get into the whole biological need for many women to want security, I guess I can see it in a primal sense if I really wanted to delve into it.
But in a more evolved sense, I would think that such has little bearing on whether or not a person is a good person and, therefore, shouldn't disqualify a person entirely. But hey, I guess there goes me and my idealism...
But being a good person is the bare minimum for being an attractive romantic partner. Dating is about finding someone compatible to spend time with, and there are a lot of people out there. Why would someone want to spend time with you (general you) as opposed to anyone else or no one at all? You can complain about society valuing confidence, but it's a factor. If you don't make eye contact on your job interview, you're not going to get the job. If you seem skittish and awkward when you meet a potential date, it's not an attractive quality. It just isn't. You might be a good person, but few people to date someone whose demeanor is that of a scared kitten hiding under the couch.
You can even extrapolate it into future encounters. Is this going to be a person who is going to avoid confrontation and disagreements? Is this going to be a person who will expect me to do all the planning and initiate all contact? Is this going to be a person who's expressive and enthusiastic in bed? None of that is particularly attractive.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 11-11-2015 at 09:37 AM..
They should add don't dress like a slob or someone who hasn't bought any new clothes in over a decade. Most single guys I know have horrible fashion sense. I'm pretty sure the ones who whine here the most don't dress well at all.
I've seen slobs get dates and have GF's and wives dude. Hell dudes in prison can get dates. The only thing I honestly agree with on his list is him saying being social.
Also you're just making a huge assumption that the men posting here must obviously dress terrible. You know what they say about assumptions.
i just received an e-mail from Nick savory..who's a Love Systems leader or co-leader.
He mentioned 15 things NOT to do if you're a single male. Copied and paste from the email.
1. Say "I love you" first.
2. Fidget, shuffle, or fail to hold eye contact.
3. Talk about any ex-girlfriend more than a little bit, or say anything negative about her.
4. Complain about being single or about the dating market in your area.
5. Buy a boat (okay, that has nothing to do with being single. It's just a terrible investment when you consider all the maintenance costs.)
6. Date women you're not attracted to. This will kill your motivation.
7. Go to strip clubs (as a lap dance customer; using 'stripper game' is a different story), escorts, or watch porn. These activities will warp your instincts, hurt your inner game, and suck away your energy level.
8. Make an excuse not to approach a woman. Be social!
9. Try to solve a woman's problems or play therapist for her unless she specifically asks for help.
10. Say or imply anything judgmental about any woman's sexual behavior (not just the woman you're talking to).
11. Live somewhere that looks like a teenager's bedroom. Save the sports posters, centerfolds, and motivational quotes for your scrapbook.
12. Send flowers (Unless it's to your mom or some other non-romantic purpose).
13. Stay home alone more than three nights per week.
14. Ask if you and her are boyfriend/girlfriend. (There's one exception to this - if you've been 'seeing each other' at least once per week for months and she hasn't said anything.)
15. Focus your attention on one woman. This is probably the most important of the 15. If you're single and only pursuing one woman, it's very hard to get your instincts and sub-communications right. It's strange, but you have a much better chance of attracting the woman you want if you find more than one woman to be interested in.
I'd argue that half-ish of these are legit (albeit, obvious) pieces of advice. And while I feel a bit of pity for those to whom this list is news, it's certainly not crap to them.
Eh, there are at least a few on that list that are legit, but you don't really need to know PUA to know that.
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