Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:19 PM
 
780 posts, read 676,621 times
Reputation: 886

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dacey View Post
Save this post because five years from now, when you are tired of being an unpaid worker whose entire life revolves around her husband's business and decisions and decide to divorce him, you get half the business since you helped build it.

Also, if you name is not on any of the business papers, it should be. That includes ownership of the truck. If you are working at it just as hard as he is, it should be half yours, too.
Very true.

Or, she can leave him now so she can have more time with her friends and marry a rich guy. With a rich guy, she doesn't have to wake up at 4am to do work and instead, focus on popping babies without having to know how much it actually costs to have one.

She doesn't want to be up so early and do so much, what does she think having a baby entails?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:23 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,007 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52521
Running any food business is backbreaking long hours type of work. If your heart's not totally into it, it can suck.

I don't know what to tell you, tough situation to be in.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:26 PM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,138,096 times
Reputation: 29347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dacey View Post
Save this post because five years from now, when you are tired of being an unpaid worker whose entire life revolves around her husband's business and decisions and decide to divorce him, you get half the business since you helped build it.

Also, if your name is not on any of the business papers, it should be. That includes ownership of the truck. If you are working at it just as hard as he is, it should be half yours, too.
Absolutely! That's how it should be. What it should not be is she quits, lays around the house and has fun with friends, then 5 years from now still wants half.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:32 PM
 
56 posts, read 41,316 times
Reputation: 232
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliwalas View Post
Very true.

Or, she can leave him now so she can have more time with her friends and marry a rich guy. With a rich guy, she doesn't have to wake up at 4am to do work and instead, focus on popping babies without having to know how much it actually costs to have one.

She doesn't want to be up so early and do so much, what does she think having a baby entails?
True. Or she can leave, go to college, have fun in her 20s like her peers, have the career she wants, and eventually marry someone who will respect her desire for work that she enjoys and means something to her.

I hope she runs all of this by him about ownership of the company and truck. If they are a partnership then they should be a partnership all the way. If he resists, that should tell her that she is unpaid support staff in his business and his life. It's one or the other. Work side by side in a business they both own, or he does his thing and she does hers like most working couples.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:37 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
Reputation: 9548
The issue goes away if you get your own paying job that can afford both your family business an actual employee and your desire to want children.

If that's not a path you feel you want to take towards having your goals met in life....I don't know what else to tell you. You have to make the opportunity happen, not wait for them

At the very least you guys need to sit down and make a plan on where you are headed and how you are going to get their. You all sound like you are just making long term goals up as they appeal to you with no plans or path on how you are actually going to achieve them.

All this said, (from what you wrote) your biggest issues do not appear to be work related at all, that appears to be a symptom of a bigger cause.

Last edited by rego00123; 11-12-2015 at 12:47 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,690,187 times
Reputation: 4186
Sounds like she skipped college but still got her M.R.S. degree.

The latest is, he lied to her, saying they would start a family, she wouldn't have to work and they could get a dog. At the very least, you two have broken lines of communication. At worst, you BOTH deceived each other.

It sounds like he discovered what he wanted to do with his life AFTER the two of you became an item and had those initial discussions. Things change. At your age and this far into a marriage, things are going to change. Often. Sometimes without warning.

If you love him, you'll find a way to compromise with him. The two of you need to work out a plan. "I'll work for X number of months until we determine if the business can survive. At that point, you'll hire someone to take my place and I can go to school." Something along those lines.

But if you go to him saying, "I don't wanna work!", he is likely to dig in and oppose.

I'll reiterate. If you are presenting a problem, have a solution handy. Otherwise, you are just piling on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 12:40 PM
 
2,013 posts, read 1,603,995 times
Reputation: 2741
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparkledove View Post
Yeah I'm still here we just are just working today. I tried reading everything and it took me a little while bc I am on my phone

When we first got together we were CRAZY in love and the was not like anyone I had ever met BC like alot of you say he actually has dreams and goals. But he has lied to me. Like he said I wouldn't have to work and that he was just going to sell ice cream so the truck wouldn't be year round. He said he wanted a family just as much as I did but we haven't even started trying and our place is a 2 bedroom but the second one is being used for an office w/ no plans for that to change :/ we were supposed to get a dog but now he says we can't have onebc no one is at home to take care of it. The hours are that we wake up at 4 am and leave the house by 4:30. Back when it was just ice cream it was longer BC he had to mix the stuff and we had to carry the milk and some of that stuff weighs a ton and is hard to carry. Then we had certain places he had to be BC with his truck he actually has aset schedule so that customers can find him and they look on fb to see where he is. So even when it's slow we have to be here.

We get into fights and all he does is tell me what to do. I try to just do what he says but I miss my friends I never get to see them I literally don't. And they got me through really hard and bad times so I miss them. I'm not lazy but I wasn't planning on working BC I thought we were going to focus on starting a family and he acted Like he wanted the same things. I actually eventually want to be a dog groomer or work at an animal shelter.

Sorry I am in my phone I'm still reading what you have all said thank you for your help!
Why did you get married so, so young???

Everyone is crazy in love when they are in high school. I thank CHRIST I never married the guy I dated in high school. Sometimes it works, but usually there's a reason you don't marry your high school sweetheart. People change A LOT from when they are adolescents through adulthood. If you think he is different now, wait until 20 or 30 years down the line.

I don't know what to tell you. You pictured this idyllic life for yourself that isn't going to happen right away.


You rushed this too much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 01:23 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparkledove View Post
I have been married since March 2015 and my husband has a food truck. It's pretty much been his dream to have one and he spent 4 years working in food places and learning how to do it so he could get his own truck. This was his first year having the truck and its been cool because we put it on twitter and fb, Instagram and over the summer his truck got some attention online and its been successful.

The problem is that he makes me help him and I'm really miserable. I graduated high school last year and I barely see my friends anymore, I just catch up with them online and fb. We start preparing everything EARLY and even after there are no more people and customers we still have to wipe everything down and clean and then there is the ordering the stuff he needs to cook... It's never stop!

Another thing is that at first he was just doing ice cream and when that was over he said it was just seasonal.. Well that was the summer since that's when iuce cream is popular but now he has moved on to actual food and I hate it because I feel like we are in the truck more than we are at home.

I try to stay home but he makes me go because he needs the extra help since the lines can get long. Every time I tell him to hire someone new he gets really annoyed and that starts a fight. But these past few months have not been then happiest I have been soooo depressed and I feel so shut in I just want to take a day off or for us to spend time together not on the truck. We didn't even do a honeymoon because at that time the truck was getting painted and he wanted to stick around and see it getting done in person.

Plus working on it all day just makes me tired. I try to talk to him about it but he gets mad when I do. I just need advice on what to say plus how to work on our relationship. Thanks
You shouldn't be forced to work on his food truck. Don't go if you don't want to do.

What kind of job do you plan on getting when you are no longer working the truck with him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 01:25 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,707 posts, read 19,880,600 times
Reputation: 43036
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
You shouldn't be forced to work on his food truck. Don't go if you don't want to do.

What kind of job do you plan on getting when you are no longer working the truck with him.
working in an animal shelter or dog grooming
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2015, 01:33 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
working in an animal shelter or dog grooming
Perfect. She can take a day or two off per week and start looking for one of those jobs. In the meantime, her husband can hire someone to help him part time while she is doing that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:40 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top