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I still don't understand why people get married so soon after high school. You have 0 life experience, have no idea who you are, and you've basically lived a life in a box. The box is your home town and the school you went to.
It doesn't matter what you choose to do after high school. College isn't the only option, but you're not even giving yourself to grow and learn what type of person you want to be.
I don't believe the marriage will last unfortunately. OP will probably become another statistic.
If the OP thinks she's tired and doesn't see her friends now - she'll be in for a VERY rude awakening if she has a BABY!!!
With a husband who's too busy, distracted or tired to show her affection, and who demands she support his business. That would be a tall order for someone--to juggle a newborn and a major work schedule at the same time.
I still don't understand why people get married so soon after high school. You have 0 life experience, have no idea who you are, and you've basically lived a life in a box. The box is your home town and the school you went to.
It doesn't matter what you choose to do after high school. College isn't the only option, but you're not even giving yourself to grow and learn what type of person you want to be.
I don't believe the marriage will last unfortunately. OP will probably become another statistic.
Very true, but she doesn't see it that way. They think they have it all figured out and know everything at that age. Desperate to show everyone how mature and grown up they are.
Op, you have a choice. You always have a choice. You made a choice to get married straight out of high school. You chose the man to marry (I don't buy the whole "he tricked her" or "it's all on him" line of thought- 19 yo is old enough to make decisions; also, plenty of 31 yo aren't any more mature at making decisions than a 19 yo).
Now, your husband believes you are obligated to work for a family business. You would rather stay home and hang out with your friends. Sounds like marriage isn't what either of you thought it might be. Again, you have a choice. Talk to him, find a different job that takes up time and brings you income, leave him, divorce, continue to work with him, etc. There are a lot of choices you can make here. You are really young and you have your whole life ahead of you. If this is not he way you want to spend it, make a different choice.
Now for my opinion: It sounds like you really want to be taken care of, but I personally think you have to be really careful about that. Let's say you find someone who takes care of you and you stay home and spend time with friends and fill your days with things you enjoy. Let's say something happens: your husband passes away, he leaves you, he is injured and unable to continue working, etc. Then what do you do? You won't have established career skills, you have no work history, perhaps you have children to take care of, etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of, and there is nothing wrong with being a mother and staying home to take care of the house and family. That's a choice. but there is a lot to be said for establishing some work history or education or work skills so you have options down the road should you need them.
Good luck with this. Remember, you have choices in your life. If you are unhappy, you need to exercise your right to make a different choice. This is all on you.
Very true, but she doesn't see it that way. They think they have it all figured out and know everything at that age. Desperate to show everyone how mature and grown up they are.
Both of these kids are still immature, but the guy in this situation has the right idea, especially if he's following a dream. He made mistakes too, because there needs to be some kind of life outside work, although running your own business forces you to sacrifice most of it. He chose to not take a honeymoon and instead stayed to watch his truck get painted. That's not something he should have done.
She's too immature to stay in this relationship. She doesn't understand that running a business takes a lot of sacrifice to your personal life, and when you do get a chance to have some personal time to yourselves it's even more special. But OP just wants to be a girl, have all of her friends, go shoe shopping and all that stuff. She isn't ready for this kind of commitment.
Nowhere did the OP state she wants to go to college...she wants to stay at home and have babies. Maybe later get a job as a dog groomer, which is going to be close to minimum wage.
She gets tired from working?? Who doesn't ?
Wait until the baby or babies arrive...you're going to pray for a good nights sleep!
Typical young girl...wants it all and wants it now.
Love to see her hubby's perspective on this. Bet it's a completely different story. You say the food truck is "successful"? No it's not. Not yet. Takes long hours of hard work to make it successful.
You should be grateful you have a hard working, ambitious husband. Support him and help make the business successful. THEN you can start a family, stay home, and and not have to worry about money so much. Good Lord!!
Hmmmm....You are probably right. She sees tacos (or whatever it is being sold) sold and thinks "SUCCESS!". She may not even understand the word overhead. She may not even have a clue as to what bills have to be paid.
Last edited by cheryjohns; 11-15-2015 at 04:06 PM..
Hmmmm....You are probably right. She sees tacos (or whatever it is being sold) and thinks "SUCCESS!". She may not even understand the word overhead. She may not even have a clue as to what bills have to be paid.
If you take a look at the first post, she says "the lines can get long". So she thinks it's successful because there's (apparently) a good demand for what he's selling. In other words, at least he seems to have a steady clientele. Whether or not he's making a good profit and is able to support them with what he makes, we don't know for sure, but he's not asking her to go out and earn a 2nd income, so maybe he's doing ok. Or maybe he's subsidizing it with his savings, and she doesn't know. We have no way of knowing. But at least he has enough customers to keep them both busy. In that sense, it was a "successful" business launch. A narrow definition of "success", granted.
I know very few people who have wives who do not work. It takes a really good job to have a stay at home wife in 2015. Jobs that most men can get today pay nothing like the jobs of 30-40 years ago, hence we have the two income family being the new norm. The days of Ward Clever heading off to work and leaving June and the Beaver at home are long over. Im not saying things weren't better back then because they were. However the economic reality of today means two go to work in most families. This is especially true of young families like the OP is part of. I appreciate the old fashioned values you espouse and I wish the world were still like that. Unless you live in a wealthy enclave and have a power income its just not reality for most of us these days.
Even "back then" there weren't too many June Cleavers except women married to professional men.
She is. She put her own life on hold to help him pursue his dream - and to support him in setting up his own business. You do not get much better a partner than that. And it is unclear what else you feel is required or lacking there.
Now it is HIS turn to be a good husband - and help facilitate her in pursuing what it is she wants to do with her life.
Wow...Talk about polar opposites. You are seeing things very differently then myself, and a few others.
She is complaining because she only gets to catch up with her H.S. friends via FB and Twitter. She doesn't want to work period..This is not the stuff supportive spouses are made of....this is a person who wants everything that having a business affords their household....but she wants her husband to do it all.
OP, I think that you should sit down with your husband and decide how much you are going to pay this new employee...and then deduct that from your household income....Then figure out what you'll need to go without....Internet?? new clothes?? food? If you can afford an employee to replace you, then perhaps you need to let your hubby hire someone to replace himself too.
Seriously...The first year or two of a new business, everything goes towards making that business grow and prosper....So...sit down and do the math....Then you may see why your working hands, combined with your husbands working hands will make a huge difference in your business success. And the profit will go into your bank...not another persons bank acct.
Hopefully you'll see that you can turn all this around....If you can change your attitude, and look at the time you work as an investment in your future...it might feel better then the way you presently think of it as a job.
I hope that you can...it will pay off big time in your future...And, if you change your attitude, I guarantee you and your husband will grow closer, because you'll be working together for the same goal.
And, maybe you and your hubby should take turns taking a day off...He might want to hang out with his friends and do nothing one day a week too. Fair is fair.
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