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We don’t' know this, we don't know that, maybe this, maybe that. We don't know any further information. So what, we just come full stop and turn back time?
Maybe while she was in high school watching her husband get his act together and preparing for THEIR future, she should have been equally preparing. Yet, she sat back and is currently available. I am sure she researched the heck out of her wedding dress. Had she gotten a job or continued on to college, she could have contributed financially which would have enabled him to pay for help now or in the future.
She is married and a big girl. She saw what was happening and had 4 years to research and anticipate. If you want to be a grown up and do grow up things, you do grown up research.
Your compassion isn't going to pay their bills or put food on their tables- nor will it change anything. It's do or die at this point for them- they have committed.
What she needs to do is go to school to learn a trade and work part time. This way she has a reason, not sit and whine that they haven't gotten time off together.
This^^^
With so much emphasis people put on living in the moment there comes a time where you have to think long-term about stuff. The OP is not thinking long term as most teens do not. Her and her husband do not have the same goals it looks like. But she put herself in this situation when she got married. Maybe she liked the idea of sounding mature and grown up by having the title of wife but she doesn't want the responsibilities that come with it.
This is what this really boils down to.
I'm betting she and her husband live in a rural area.
BTW it's amazing how hard Momentus is trying to defend her position. No matter how much you argue the OP will have to sacrifice something, either her marriage or her time.
She hasn't been doing anything for 4 years. He was gaining experience working in the food industry.
She wasn't because she was attending HS. Four years ago she was just 14-15 y.o.
He seems to be much older, mature and having goals. He worked for someone's food establishment for 4 years, and decided to open his own business.
I agree, that she was way too young to imagine that getting married, and all that truck business might affect her own life in a ways she feels right now. I guess, they probably didn't talk about their plans and expectations. Or she was eager to get married, and didn't really thought about the consequences.
BTW it's amazing how hard Momentus is trying to defend her position. Now matter how much you argue the OP will have to sacrifice something, either her marriage or her time.
I am not defending her position that much actually. Most of what I am writing appears to be pointing out that people are attacking positions the OP never expressed as they are merely making things up that - while they might be true - we currently have no indication they are true.
And some people are making it up so much that they are claiming things are true that are the _exact opposite_ of what the OP did state!
I see nothing to defend here. Rather I see two people who are in a place where at least one of them is not happy - possibly the other one too - and they have essentially no social or married life going on - and communication about the issues results in anger and fighting. And NONE of that is a good thing in the short - and most certainly not the long - term.
He needs to realise they ARE a team and open up communication on this without reproach.
She needs to work out where she wants to be and help him come up with an exit strategy on how to transition her to that place - without simply ditching him in the lurch - that best works for him.
So no I am defending very little at all - rather I see their issues and I see how they likely need to move forward - and how best they can reach a compromise on BOTH sides.
Mod cut: Quoted posts deleted.
Yes it happens a LOT On here. One hit wonder OPs.
However a lot of the time too people can only post at a certain time of day. So I tend to give it 24 - usually 48 - hours before I really start to give up on them. Quite a lot of the time you see what people THINK are one hit wonder OPs - only they return and reply the same time the next day. Especially someone who is as busy as the OP claims to be!
She wasn't because she was attending HS. Four years ago she was just 14-15 y.o.
He seems to be much older, mature and having goals. He worked for someone's food establishment for 4 years, and decided to open his own business.
I agree, that she was way too young to imagine that getting married, and all that truck business might affect her own life in a ways she feels right now. I guess, they probably didn't talk about their plans and expectations. Or she was eager to get married, and didn't really thought about the consequences.
I'm not putting her down for attending high school. Just pointing out that she hasn't been putting 4 years into the business in response to another post.
If she complained that she wanted to pursue her passion of working with children, or needs time for college I'm sure our responses would be different.
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I'm not putting her down for attending high school. Just pointing out that she hasn't been putting 4 years into the business in response to another post.
Ah then possibly you merely chose your words poorly because I - and I suspect elnina - read you as meaning exactly what you wrote. Which is that "She hasn't been doing anything for 4 years."
If you merely meant she was not putting anything into the business for 4 years - then that certainly makes more sense. But I would still caution that we do not know this to be true. The OP has not indicated what support - if any - she offered during those 4 years. To take but one of any number of possibilities off the top of my head - perhaps she was working part time during that period to make ends meet while he took menial low paid jobs to get the experience to realise his dreams?
Was she? Doubt it. But fact is we _do not know_ yet so it is too soon to declare she has been doing nothing for the last 4 years. I will withold judgement until (if) the OP comes back and lets us know.
As I said I will openly concede - without losing any face at all - that if the OP comes back and tells us she was unsupportive and irrelevant for those 4 years - and she is indeed looking to sit around all day at home now and socialise and live the unemployed life - that the majority of what I have written on this thread will need a heavy re-write.
But until we know - it appears people are happy to whole sale invent information and then judge the OP on the basis of it - and I am happy to call them out as they do it.
I meant what I said. I also believe what the OP said, and have no reason to believe she choose the wrong words.
If something comes along later I will reconsider.
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The problem is that he makes me help him and I'm really miserable. I graduated high school last year and I barely see my friends anymore, I just catch up with them online and fb. We start preparing everything EARLY and even after there are no more people and customers we still have to wipe everything down and clean and then there is the ordering the stuff he needs to cook... It's never stop!
I try to stay home but he makes me go because he needs the extra help since the lines can get long. Every time I tell him to hire someone new he gets really annoyed and that starts a fight. But these past few months have not been then happiest I have been soooo depressed and I feel so shut in I just want to take a day off or for us to spend time together not on the truck. We didn't even do a honeymoon because at that time the truck was getting painted and he wanted to stick around and see it getting done in person.
Plus working on it all day just makes me tired. I try to talk to him about it but he gets mad when I do. I just need advice on what to say plus how to work on our relationship. Thanks
Somebody call a waaahmbulance.
Good Lord, what did you plan on doing in the meantime, eating chips & dip in front of the TV watching soap operas?
He's not even close to successful yet, not if he can't afford to hire help or ever take time off. Nobody starts a business from scratch and becomes successful in a few months. This takes years.
Ditto. My father-in-law researched starting a food truck and the overhead is quite high; he low-balled it at $10k per month, not to mention start-up costs that can range from $50k-$80k, and the profit margin averages 10-15%. The OP's business may be "doing very well" already, but there is a world of difference between that and actually being solvent.
Then I take it you haven't been on the internet very long. If you do a Google search, there are a massive number of hits relating to this very subject. While the origin is likely business related, it's a good philosophy in life.
Unless you would just rather complain. A lot.
Just try to ignore momentus. He's not much older than a teenager himself, so of course he's going to agree with the special snowflake; they are cut from the same cloth.
I find this thread shocking. Who would have guessed that a teenager would be unprepared for marriage and work? Shocking!
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- and I am happy to call them out as they do it.
and I'm really miserable. I graduated high school last year and I barely see my friends anymore, I just catch up with them online and fb. We start preparing everything EARLY and even after there are no more people and customers we still have to wipe everything down and clean and then there is the ordering the stuff he needs to cook... It's never stop!
I just want to take a day off or for us to spend time together not on the truck. We didn't even do a honeymoon because at that time the truck was getting painted and he wanted to stick around and see it getting done in person.
