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OP, it sounds like you have been with her for a while. So , here is what I would do... Pick a good time to sit down and talk with her. ASK her in a nice way if she is depressed, or feeling well.
Tell her you are concerned about her because you noticed how she is dressing and how she keeps up with herself. How she has changed and you are worried about her.
See how she responds. If she hasn't been to a Dr. in a while , insist that she go for a physical with lab work. ( Most insurance plans cover this with only a small copay ) Even tell you will take her. because you care so much.
Do what you can to get to the ROOT of the problem.
If she throws a fit or totally refuses , THEN tell her it might be over.
Personally I tell every woman I've had a relationship with that I keep up with my health and apperance and I expect them to keep up too.
When I met my girlfriend I thought she was the prettiest girl I ever met. She's still cute but she's let herself go appearance wise. It started after she moved in with me, and I feel like she's become complacent. I want her get back to how she looked before, start wearing nice clothes like she used to, and generally make more of an effort. I still dress as sharply as I did when I met her, I work out, eat proper food, and take care of my appearance, and I see no reason why she can't look after herself. When we walk down the street together it's embarrassing. I used to feel like I was the lucky one, now we just look like such a mismatch, with me dressed nicely and looking good while she's waddling along next to me looking out of shape and it's depressing. I know she can do much better. I've tried to motivate her, offered to help her choose better food to eat, pick out clothes, whatever, but she's mostly very unresponsive. She's really letting herself go and I can't picture myself with her for much longer if she doesn't pull her socks up and make an effort, for me and for herself. The lack of self respect is as much of a turn off as anything else.
So you live together but you eat different food?
Do you find it odd that the changes she has gone through started only "after" she moved in with you?
What could that possibly mean....
The guy im in love with if he became obese and drooled I would still love him such is our soul connection.
if she is very overweight show her real foods,clean eating etc on pinterest,there's hundreds of recipes there,offer to make dinner regularly if you live together.
she just got comfortable with you and no longer feels the need to impress you,you need to maybe back away a bit so she has the desire to impress you again,but as I said a true soul connection overcomes these things.
[quote=Katiethegreat;41913460]The guy im in love with if he became obese and drooled I would still love him such is our soul connection.
if she is very overweight show her real foods,clean eating etc on pinterest,there's hundreds of recipes there,offer to make dinner regularly if you live together.
she just got comfortable with you and no longer feels the need to impress you,you need to maybe back away a bit so she has the desire to impress you again,but as I said a true soul connection overcomes these things.[/QUOTE]
No.
I think women totally deny that men think differently. While that does not excuse douchey behavior, it does explain why this matters so much to the OP.
Men also forget that women have more of an emotional attachment to food.
Communication is key. But the OP won't even communicate with us, so that goes out of the window.
She's not obligated to change for you, and you're not obligated to stay with someone you're not attracted to. If you love her, tell her. I f not, just end it.
I think women totally deny that men think differently. While that does not excuse douchey behavior, it does explain why this matters so much to the OP.
Men also forget that women have more of an emotional attachment to food.
Communication is key. But the OP won't even communicate with us, so that goes out of the window.[/quote]
I don't think all women deny that men think differently. I'm pretty well convinced that men are by default more superficial. It's a very disappointing thing when you finally understand this about men, but it is what it is. This is one of the reasons I am pretty well set against marriage - I think marriage makes women fatter most of the time. It makes some men fatter too, but women struggle with weight gain more often than men since we are by nature fatter to begin with. The cards are stacked against both sexes in a certain sense. Call it part of the "curse".
I don't think all women deny that men think differently. I'm pretty well convinced that men are by default more superficial. It's a very disappointing thing when you finally understand this about men, but it is what it is. This is one of the reasons I am pretty well set against marriage - I think marriage makes women fatter most of the time. It makes some men fatter too, but women struggle with weight gain more often than men since we are by nature fatter to begin with. The cards are stacked against both sexes in a certain sense. Call it part of the "curse".
I'm going to ignore the man-bashing that is common to your posts for my reply.
Marriage does not make people fatter, complacency and laziness does. If you are complacent in your marriage, then you are taking your partner's affection for granted. In a healthy marriage, you invest all of yourself into the relationship. This includes constantly trying to "woo" your SO. Marriage does not mean you are guaranteed the love and affection of your spouse no matter what. Those that think this way find themselves very unhappy down the road.
Also, just because women's nominal body fat % is higher than men's doesn't mean they are inherently fatter. That's ridiculous.
I think women totally deny that men think differently. While that does not excuse douchey behavior, it does explain why this matters so much to the OP.
Men also forget that women have more of an emotional attachment to food.
Communication is key. But the OP won't even communicate with us, so that goes out of the window.
Quote:
I don't think all women deny that men think differently. I'm pretty well convinced that men are by default more superficial. It's a very disappointing thing when you finally understand this about men, but it is what it is. This is one of the reasons I am pretty well set against marriage - I think marriage makes women fatter most of the time. It makes some men fatter too, but women struggle with weight gain more often than men since we are by nature fatter to begin with. The cards are stacked against both sexes in a certain sense. Call it part of the "curse".
Lord almighty. Not sure what you are blabbering about, but none of it makes any sense. Men aren't superficial for caring about physical looks - we are biologically predisposed to choose women for their looks, because this is the way men were designed by nature.
Marriage makes women fatter? bwahahaha. No, they make themselves fatter, by eating crap and not exercising. Marriage is just a concept, it has no will of its own, to victimize poor oppressed women. The curse, right. All I'm seeing is grasping at straws, and shifting blame on something else. My god, lets grow up, shall we?
Marriage does not make people fatter, complacency and laziness does.
Also, just because women's nominal body fat % is higher than men's doesn't mean they are inherently fatter. That's ridiculous.
This. The married women among my friends and acquaintances have not gotten fatter, and were never fat or overweight. Flinging around stereotypes doesn't help the discussion. If we're going to fling, we could just as easily say that men become complacent in marriage, and have no qualms with growing a beer belly. It's comments like those that threaten to take the thread off topic and into the bashing realm. Not helpful.
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