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Strong women aren't victims and don't need to constantly remind you they're strong and independent. They just wade in and work alongside you, offering strength where theirs outweighs yours, asking for a hand when yours outweighs theirs.
Same goes for strong men.
That's not to denigrate the idea of being a victim. We've all been at one time or another, depending on circumstances and solutions (or a lack thereof). I'm talking about perpetu-victims, the ones who live in a state of ongoing indignation and ire.
I think the word you are looking for is "feminists".
Do you even read what you're writing? Do you not understand how your words scream sexism? It's incredibly offensive.
I swear to God that so many of you don't even read what you're writing and think before you type. These things are not "masculine" or "feminine" at all. They're human.
I think that's actually what he's saying -- BUT taking into consideration that for the unwashed masses, these attributes are associated more strongly with gender than they should be.
Crying isn't the sole domain of femininity; but consider the degree of forgiveness you would proffer a man who cried continuously in the face of aggression or adversity versus the degree of forgiveness you might proffer a woman.
I am NOT saying you wouldn't forgive a man, or that you would forgive a woman more; but in general this is what happens. Women are comforted and set aside, not to be relied on for such behavior, whereas men are told to "man up, knock it off" -- and if they don't, still set aside as unreliable.
Crying is just one example. There are numerous which go in both directions, denigrating or even outright insulting to either sex.
All those attributes are, as you say, HUMAN; but without some balance in the equation of display and perception, even putting aside the general societal take on those things, the all-domineering or too-caring person is perceived as weak or strong, harsh or gentle, and most egregiously yet broadly -- as masculine or feminine.
I think the word you are looking for is "feminists".
Part of me wants to agree based on Third Wave Feminism and the abusive rhetoric with which our society has become so enamored.
But another part of me is trying very hard to look past the noise to the issues which genuinely underlie all the screaming rather than being distracted by it.
Pointing it out via insult doesn't actually help anyone, not anyone at all.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
I think that's actually what he's saying -- BUT taking into consideration that for the unwashed masses, these attributes are associated more strongly with gender than they should be.
Crying isn't the sole domain of femininity; but consider the degree of forgiveness you would proffer a man who cried continuously in the face of aggression or adversity versus the degree of forgiveness you might proffer a woman.
I am NOT saying you wouldn't forgive a man, or that you would forgive a woman more; but in general this is what happens. Women are comforted and set aside, not to be relied on for such behavior, whereas men are told to "man up, knock it off" -- and if they don't, still set aside as unreliable.
Crying is just one example. There are numerous which go in both directions, denigrating or even outright insulting to either sex.
All those attributes are, as you say, HUMAN; but without some balance in the equation of display and perception, even putting aside the general societal take on those things, the all-domineering or too-caring person is perceived as weak or strong, harsh or gentle, and most egregiously yet broadly -- as masculine or feminine.
And by repeating those assertions we are perpetuating the mindset that they are indeed "masculine" or "feminine", which is of course insane, and just wrong headed to repeat or promote.
Listen, I get how we, due to societal conditioning, act or react differently at times to the different biological sexes based on how they act or react, but it isn't right, and it isn't something we should be embracing as a society. And using the term feminine energy vs masculine energy is indeed promoting those differences as ascribing them to genders. That's just messed up. I would hope that is something most of us would be fighting against.
Only if you're a woman, right?
Because I don't often (or ever) hear about how men are so good at spending time with their feminine energy.
It's cool. It's not something that is spoken of often but it does make sense.
An example of a male displaying feminine energy- is upon meeting for the first time, the man is clingy, very affectionate, always wanting to be near her, always seeking approval either by always asking permission to walk away or looking at her to see if she if she approves of his actions. He is always calling and never giving her any space.
This as oppose to being smooth, confident, head high, and taking charge during the right times.
I take a bit of umbrage with the notion that women are by nature weak, emotional, and inferior (servants.) Also that men are tough, logical, and always get the job done. Sure when it comes to offense and attack, I think that most men out-destructo most women...but I also think that women have a tremendous strength of endurance, and can bear much greater pain and hardship without cracking under pressure, than most men I've known. As the baby makers, we sort of have to.
Energy or no...I just have not observed it to be so absolute. And I do agree that we want some kind of balance, no woman wants a man who is constantly sitting around the house weeping (*cough* my ex *cough*) and letting his feels run the show, being helpless and lame. Nor would I want a hard-arse with no feelings at all. But on the flip side, I think that a man who thinks he just wants a soft, stupid toy to play with in a woman, who does not threaten his superiority by actually being intelligent or DOING things...he's not much of a man, and surely her behavior would get annoying anyhow.
Ideally, two people will be partners. They will put similar amounts of energy and effort into the mission of surviving and succeeding as a team. No team will last if the partners in it don't respect one another, and that absolutely goes both ways.
I do also agree that there's a huge difference between calm, quiet confidence that need not shout itself from the rooftops, and bravado and one-upmanship that is merely a cover for insecurity. But I definitely have to draw the line anytime anyone says, "Men don't want that" because maybe YOU don't or your friends don't, but nobody elected any of you guys the Congressbro for your entire gender. Different men want different things in a mate, plain and simple. And the same goes for women, we have different tastes, too.
For every woman who acts like some sort of a World Leader, there is a guy imagining bringing out her vulnerable and feminine side in the privacy of a bedroom, or being Dominated by her in a hotel. And for every quiet, shy, mousy fellow out there, there's one of me wondering if he'd do gloriously terrible things and be a completely different person given the chance. Some of you only worry about what's on the surface, and that is fine if all you want is a basic romp. But you don't speak for everyone.
And frankly, I don't know ANY man who can pull off the 1940's "The Man knows best" relationship model when it comes to an actual marriage or its functional equivalent. Nowadays, if you aren't partners, you are going to eventually fail.
I take a bit of umbrage with the notion that women are by nature weak, emotional, and inferior (servants.) Also that men are tough, logical, and always get the job done. Sure when it comes to offense and attack, I think that most men out-destructo most women...but I also think that women have a tremendous strength of endurance, and can bear much greater pain and hardship without cracking under pressure, than most men I've known. As the baby makers, we sort of have to.
Energy or no...I just have not observed it to be so absolute. And I do agree that we want some kind of balance, no woman wants a man who is constantly sitting around the house weeping (*cough* my ex *cough*) and letting his feels run the show, being helpless and lame. Nor would I want a hard-arse with no feelings at all. But on the flip side, I think that a man who thinks he just wants a soft, stupid toy to play with in a woman, who does not threaten his superiority by actually being intelligent or DOING things...he's not much of a man, and surely her behavior would get annoying anyhow.
Ideally, two people will be partners. They will put similar amounts of energy and effort into the mission of surviving and succeeding as a team. No team will last if the partners in it don't respect one another, and that absolutely goes both ways.
I do also agree that there's a huge difference between calm, quiet confidence that need not shout itself from the rooftops, and bravado and one-upmanship that is merely a cover for insecurity. But I definitely have to draw the line anytime anyone says, "Men don't want that" because maybe YOU don't or your friends don't, but nobody elected any of you guys the Congressbro for your entire gender. Different men want different things in a mate, plain and simple. And the same goes for women, we have different tastes, too.
For every woman who acts like some sort of a World Leader, there is a guy imagining bringing out her vulnerable and feminine side in the privacy of a bedroom, or being Dominated by her in a hotel. And for every quiet, shy, mousy fellow out there, there's one of me wondering if he'd do gloriously terrible things and be a completely different person given the chance. Some of you only worry about what's on the surface, and that is fine if all you want is a basic romp. But you don't speak for everyone.
And frankly, I don't know ANY man who can pull off the 1940's "The Man knows best" relationship model when it comes to an actual marriage or its functional equivalent. Nowadays, if you aren't partners, you are going to eventually fail.
Agreed. And I think that umbrage is Timberline's specific point, along with even citing such things.
But I'm of the opinion that while historic tendencies need be corrected, pretending they don't exist doesn't work well for the understanding necessary.
Odd you mention "The Man knows best" idiocy. I just cited Leave it to Beaver earlier today in a similar discussion, and how forward-thinking it was compared to other similar shows of the time.
And by repeating those assertions we are perpetuating the mindset that they are indeed "masculine" or "feminine", which is of course insane, and just wrong headed to repeat or promote.
Listen, I get how we, due to societal conditioning, act or react differently at times to the different biological sexes based on how they act or react, but it isn't right, and it isn't something we should be embracing as a society. And using the term feminine energy vs masculine energy is indeed promoting those differences as ascribing them to genders. That's just messed up. I would hope that is something most of us would be fighting against.
You can leave your liberal SJW views out of this. Like I said, you are surface. Do your research and don't simply rely on your space. There is more to the world beyond our own spaces.
The conversation is being had by many all over the world but you can stay right where you are son. Let me know when I can stop applying the masculine pressure on you. There is a lot more where this came from.
What would help everyone is recognizing that both men and women can at times be victims, and that both men and women face difficulties, barriers, unfairness. A hate cult interested in advancing half the population at the cost of hurting the other half, has caused enough destruction to this world, not to be ridiculed and insulted. Its the least every himan with a working brain should do.
Back to the topic, men and women are human. We all deserve to be treated with respect, but we are very different in what we seek in a heterosexual mate. Confidence in women is likely a turn on for most guys, but its nowhere near the most important trait. It would be extremely rare that a man would find himself attracted to a woman based on her level of confidence alone. Think of it as a bonus trait, but not a critical trait for a woman to possess. However, it is a completely different story, when you are talking about confidence In men and how women perceive it. It is by far the most crucial trait a man who wants to be successful in dating, needs to have. A self confident man needs nothing else to be able to have many, many options to choose from.
People, men like feminine women and women like masculine men. Is it ok for men to cry? Sure it is, just don't do it because you got emotional that sex in the city season ended. You are a man and need to be a rock and a shoulder to cry on. I do realize that todays men are less masculine and todays women are less feminine, and it is not an accident. My Girlfriend for example, has feminine and masculine traits, just like most people living today. When she displays feminine traits, I make sure I reward her for it.
If you are a man today, it would benefit you to hone your masculine skills and traits. Women will love you for it, no matter what they say. If you are a woman today, it would benefit you to be as feminine as you can, men will love you for it. When a masculine man and a feminine woman come together, there is a natural level of sexual friction present, which ensures long lasting attraction. When asexual man and asexual woman come together, there is no chemistry, polarity or friction. Those relationships have no chance to last. Just in case you needed to know why 50% of modern marriages fail.
It's cool. It's not something that is spoken of often but it does make sense.
An example of a male displaying feminine energy- is upon meeting for the first time, the man is clingy, very affectionate, always wanting to be near her, always seeking approval either by always asking permission to walk away or looking at her to see if she if she approves of his actions. He is always calling and never giving her any space.
This as oppose to being smooth, confident, head high, and taking charge during the right times.
My point being (my badly made point) that no one ever asks a guy to "turn it off" at home.
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