Can Women Tell If Someone Else Is Interested In Their Man? (girlfriend, attracted)

[TaoistDude]

Bottom line, OP, is that your wife doesn't trust you. It really does not matter if other women are interested in you, flirting, or more aggressively coming on to you, if you are ignoring it, not responding, or not even aware of it. If YOU do not respond, whatever THEY want or do does not matter. You wife either does not trust you, or is very insecure about your love for her. The latter may be something you can work on, if true - even if it's irrational. If she doesn't trust you - and has no good reason for that - then her (and your) problem is a lot deeper.

[Des-Lab]

@Taoistdude. That would make sense if she acted consistently like that. She doesn't. Most times when we socialize, I can chat it up with anyone (and vice versa with her) and it's not a problem. But like I said-it was these two instances that really, really got under her skin. And that was what prompted this discussion. Why did she not like me talking with just ONE co-worker-at the table? Why did she not like me talking with just that one gal? Again, let me remind you. When we were at the party, there was one woman (tall late 20's/early 30's blonde who was very attractive) who joined me for a beer and a smoke over in the 'smokers corner' at the party. Wife couldn't care less about that one. But that one gal really bothered her.

[Mikala43]

Tell her your radar is broken and if you guys are out for her to let you know which one you shouldn't be talking to and you will make sure it doesn't happen.

There. It's on her now.

[GravityMan]

Yes, women can usually tell, OP.

I don't know about your company Xmas party example, but I think you crossed a boundary with the second example with the teen, even if you truly didn't realize it. I suspect that a lot women would have had an issue with that kind of situation, including those who aren't particularly territorial.

When interacting with other women or teenage girls, particularly those you've just met...I suggest you learn the art of smoothly injecting your marital status into the natural flow of the conversation, even if it was about sports or beer or a movie or whatever. Do it properly, and it won't feel forced, but the woman will likely still get the hint.

That said, the way your wife is reacting to these incidents (the FB stuff, etc), especially for weeks and months afterwards, is concerning. She seems very insecure. I think you two need to communicate...perhaps she can give you a better idea of how to avoid crossing this boundary in the future.

And BTW, most men can usually tell if another guy is interested in their GF or wife. Men ain't perfect with this "sixth sense" stuff, but we aren't as dense as you are portraying.

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by NewbieHere

Yes, women do know and have a sixth sense.

No they just think they know. It's a 50/50 shot. I deal with lots of jealous women and I never want their men. I find their behavior exhausting. Just because a woman can have a conversation with a man, does not mean she is attracted to and wants him.

[mochamajesty]

Originally Posted by LowonLuck

No they just think they know. It's a 50/50 shot. I deal with lots of jealous women and I never want their men. I find their behavior exhausting. Just because a woman can have a conversation with a man, does not mean she is attracted to and wants him.

Maybe I'm misremembering, but don't you have a respiration for dealing with sketchy men and you live in a small town?

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by mochamajesty

Maybe I'm misremembering, but don't you have a respiration for dealing with sketchy men and you live in a small town?

I live in a town of 2000. Of course there are surrounding towns, but I have always lived in the same area yes. Yes I have dated some guys that have been in prison, but I knew them long before they went. But that has nothing to do with jealous women.

Dating a good guy now!

[softcrunch]

Well, most women have very sensitive feelers when it comes to their men and other women around him lol. So yes, even if the situation isn't obvious at all we can smell a rat from miles away, but to react to it or not is another story.

Also, women can sense what type appeals to their men and whether these women are "potentially unsafe". Your wife got upset in those two cases and not others because she saw them as "unsafe" and "potentially" your type. Note that "your type" doesn't mean that they have to be very attractive, which explains why she is "inconsistent". She's not buying whether you're interested in them or not, but potentially what it could be.

[misskittytalks]

OP, is it possible you lit up a little extra around this teen girl and didn't notice? I believe you that you weren't actively interested in this girl, because I've never had feelings for teen boys even when I was a teen girl - they always looked like unbaked lumps of dough to me - but I think it is a universal perception problem, that some men (and women!) have been trained to think that 'younger is always better', and 'age is no deterrent if she is nubile and hot'.

That said, it's your wife's issue, as I don't know how many times you can say "I consider underage girls a strictly hands-off proposition". Maybe you should try asking her "I feel like this can't possibly be the real problem; what is really bothering you about these women?" Maybe she's thinking you think you wish she were more interested in sound equipment, or how much you would have enjoyed meeting a teen like this one when you were age appropriate.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by NewbieHere

Yes, women do know and have a sixth sense.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by mochamajesty

And men are generally clueless lol.

because many times, they think with the smaller head. lol