Meeting men who want to settle down (marrying, love, 2015)
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It's a pretty well documented and proven fact that it's bad to date a co-worker.
At the very least, it would be awkward afterwards. At the WORST, she could get all butthurt when you finally break up with her and go cry to HR for sexual harassment or some myriad of stupid claims and you be out of a job...
Not worth it. Don't **** where you eat as they say
I partially agree, I never quite got the "looking for someone to marry" approach to dating. It seems that meeting someone, dating for a bit and seeing where things go, would be a better approach. I call it outcome independent. Chances are there are plenty of guys who aren't looking to "settle down", but if they meet the right woman and the relationships develops over time, they may very well commit and create a future together. With that said, RJ is completely right. Her SMV will begin to decline after 25, and she will never again in her life be able to land as high of quality man. I know you don't believe in it, but realities and observed facts speak for themselves.
Well, the realities and facts that I've observed do in fact speak for themselves. The fact of the matter is that I know very few people that met their spouses at 25. I met my spouse at 25 and got married at 28 and I was one of the first out of my closest friends to get married.
Well, the realities and facts that I've observed do in fact speak for themselves. The fact of the matter is that I know very few people that met their spouses at 25. I met my spouse at 25 and got married at 28 and I was one of the first out of my closest friends to get married.
How old was your girlfriend when you met her?
So see, you locked him down at your peek. Good for you. Not cool to advise others not to do same, however.
So see, you locked him down at your peek. Good for you. Not cool to advise others not to do same, however.
Avoiding answering the question, I see. I would guess that means that you met your girlfriend after she was 25. Does that mean that you are not a high quality man?
I partially agree, I never quite got the "looking for someone to marry" approach to dating. It seems that meeting someone, dating for a bit and seeing where things go, would be a better approach. I call it outcome independent. Chances are there are plenty of guys who aren't looking to "settle down", but if they meet the right woman and the relationships develops over time, they may very well commit and create a future together. With that said, RJ is completely right. Her SMV will begin to decline after 25, and she will never again in her life be able to land as high of quality man. I know you don't believe in it, but realities and observed facts speak for themselves.
I don't really believe in this whole SMV nonsense when it comes to marriage are real commitment. It's PU artist lingo really and is for sex only when you look at it objectively. When it comes to having sex only, yeah, young and hot are the thing for the type who's into that; but a woman's SMV would have nothing to do with her long-term mate value (LTMV) if you will. Just because someone is young, hot and you want to have sex with them, has no bearing on how good a wife (and maybe mother of your children) she will be. There is a lot more that goes into that and how hot a woman is has no bearing on her potential to be a good long-term mate. In fact, I'd say being young and hot is a negative since those who get married young tend to divorce more than those who wait until late 20s, early 30s.
That said, going back to the OP, if she wants to get married and that's her goal, power to her. It's a free country. But I also agree with you (and others) who said the way to go about it is just date, meet people, take the pressure off yourself and when you meet the right person, it will click. Going out with a goal of marriage, a goal to "find a husband" puts focus on the wrong things and I think leads to failure in the long run--you aren't filling a job position after all.
Meetup groups are an option because you'll find a plethora of men there. However, you'll be meeting a lot of loser guys who are STEM workers with marginal social skills and can't find any girls to date them. Probably best to avoid Meetup.
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Originally Posted by RJ312
At Meetup events, the sheer force of them have a repellent effect upon the potentially attractive women who might consider Meetup as an option. When a woman goes out to a Meetup event (typically one of those generic social groups that have their events at bars) and gets hit on by a bunch of guys she's not attracted to (essentially swarmed all night by guys she perceives as nerdy/dorky/geeky), and maybe 1-2 guys she deems passable, she's not going to want to go out to future events. This reduces the quality of the pool for the passable guys. This phenomenon occurs in a lot of Meetup groups. Bad gender ratios and non-quality looking women.
Again, something that varies by location. I have been a Meetup organizer/member for over 7 years. The men I meet are primarily retired, under or unemployed or are in their mid-20's. We do have a large programmer and engineering presence here due to Intel; those are the men I meet at speed dating, not Meetup. I've met more STEM women than men through Meetup.
I agree with the gender ratios being bad though. A typical event here, regardless of social or special interest group typically has a ratio of 7 women (or more) to 1 man. The only event here in which the men outnumber the woman consistently is speed dating for ages 23-37. Lately, all I have been meeting are retired women and newly married women in their late 20's, early 30's who are new to the area and have not yet found jobs.
I agree about it not being a good place to seek out a partner, however. A lot of people join because they are new in town, newly single, newly retired, empty nesters, etc and unless they are specifically in a group oriented towards dating are not necessarily looking for a relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
If she uses her peak years to put forth a concerted effort to lock down a quality guy long term, she's ahead of girls who are dilly-dallying around with the early to mid 20s, then find themselves pushing 30 and find it harder to compete with the younger women for the elite men.
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Originally Posted by artemis agrotera
I did laugh at "pushing 30"
When I joined this board, women needed to be "put out to pasture" at 35. It's been getting younger and younger ever since...soon it will be anyone over 21 doesn't stand a chance!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
Some of us, in fact almost everyone that I know, actually LIKE the "nerdy/dorky/geeky" types. They tend to be FAR more fascinating than the "suave" males. Some of them may be awkward, at first, but that is not a big deal.
I believe they are also less likely to cheat. You put identical twins in appearance in front of me, I'm going to go for the one with the dorkier personality. But according to this forum, 1) I am not really a woman, and 2) I have no idea what I want. Oh, and I'm ancient so it's all moot anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass
I hear it over and over again how the 40s and 50s were the best decades for some people. It can be after that, too, depending on your health, etc. But, come on, the 30s and it's over? That's crazy talk. What a waste of a life.
30's sucked for me, being widowed and all at 34. Forties are great so far! I met LH just before I turned 26. He got in just before my market value hit the skids! Lucky guy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Avoiding answering the question, I see. I would guess that means that you met your girlfriend after she was 25. Does that mean that you are not a high quality man?
I believe they are also less likely to cheat. You put identical twins in appearance in front of me, I'm going to go for the one with the dorkier personality. But according to this forum, 1) I am not really a woman, and 2) I have no idea what I want. Oh, and I'm ancient so it's all moot anyway.
Yep, I hear you guys. That's why men who are suave with women have such a hard time dating. They are perpetually dateless, single, and simply ignored by women. Unlike the nerdy nice guys - the only problem they have is which hottie to choose.
Yep, I hear you guys. That's why men who are suave with women have such a hard time dating. They are perpetually dateless, single, and simply ignored by women. Unlike the nerdy nice guys - the only problem they have is which hottie to choose.
I lol'd.
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