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When I was 20 my then 52 year old father married a 30 year old woman. At the time I thought it was weird but I was already an adult so it didn't have an impact on my life. They've been married almost 20 years now and while I don't consider her my step-mother, we do get a long.Your father obviously loves her so you need to get over it and try to get to know her.
Yeah.. I know... the PC thing to say is that she likes him cause he's mature, wise, blah blah blah.... I still would pause.....
Well, you've already made your sentiments known about these sorts of relationships being "gross".
Being "PC" has nothing to do with this. IMO, it has way more to do with someone being mature enough to put aside stereotypes and not prejudge a situation that they essentially know nothing about.
Well, you've already made your sentiments known about these sorts of relationships being "gross".
Being "PC" has nothing to do with this. IMO, it has way more to do with someone being mature enough to put aside stereotypes and not prejudge a situation that they essentially know nothing about.
Did you also read the part where I told her to be polite and basically shut the heck up about it?????
Of course it's PC...most people look at an age gap like that and sort of give it a thought or two... LOL. to say otherwise just isn't correct. Yeah, a few people wouldn't bat an eye, but I guarantee you most people would at least give it a once over in their minds about it.
I'm not going to lie and say I'm not wary of her intentions. I am. But I do realize he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions. I'm uncomfortable (have I mentioned that yet?) but I think I need to be civil with her. I do care about my relationship with my dad. I think I can learn to accept it without agreeing with it. I can't say I'll ever develop a relationship with her, but I'll be polite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30
Age is just a number
Age is a number, sure. But the maturity and life experience behind that number count for something.
Of course it's PC...most people look at an age gap like that and sort of give it a thought or two... LOL. to say otherwise just isn't correct. Yeah, a few people wouldn't bat an eye, but I guarantee you most people would at least give it a once over in their minds about it.
So, they do.
What you said about the "PC response" is what I was referring to. Obviously, in your mind, there's something terribly inherently wrong with these relationships. It's your prerogative to think so. All I am trying to do is encourage OP, and anyone else who is open to it, to actually not prejudge these sorts of relationships. IMO, feeding into stereotypes about these relationships without any sort of knowledge of the relationship in question simply shows ignorance.
I'm not going to lie and say I'm not wary of her intentions. I am. But I do realize he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions. I'm uncomfortable (have I mentioned that yet?) but I think I need to be civil with her. I do care about my relationship with my dad. I think I can learn to accept it without agreeing with it. I can't say I'll ever develop a relationship with her, but I'll be polite.
Age is a number, sure. But the maturity and life experience behind that number count for something.
Absolutely agree
But I was going on " if you like some one then it's enough " sort of thing
I'm in my mid-20's. My father (60) recently married someone who is 30 after being with her for about a year. He asked me to attend the wedding and I did not.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it isn't too much of my business. But it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that I am disturbed. When she was born, he was already 30...! I don't want to cause family trouble or drama, but I have been so uncomfortable about the entire situation. I have been avoiding speaking to my dad and only text him. I told him he can visit but he cannot bring his wife... I've not even met this lady yet and to be honest, I don't want to. I am typically very friendly, warm, happy-go-lucky, the type that gets along with mostly everyone however I do tend to speak my mind and I'm not sure how I'll react to her.
UGH. His life, not mine, but its my father so I don't know how to act, what to say. Anyone ever deal with this type of situation?! I sure am curious on what others have to say. In your opinion, is this wrong? Is it fine? They are both consenting adults but that doesn't make it any less uncomfortable for me.
And another question: when it comes to relationships, what age difference do you think is appropriate?
What you said about the "PC response" is what I was referring to. Obviously, in your mind, there's something terribly inherently wrong with these relationships. It's your prerogative to think so. All I am trying to do is encourage OP, and anyone else who is open to it, to actually not prejudge these sorts of relationships. IMO, feeding into stereotypes about these relationships without any sort of knowledge of the relationship in question simply shows ignorance.
I'm an opinioned guy, I guess, I said "gross" and probably a bit of a harsh word.
I'm also liberal as hell on these subjects, people can do anything they want, as long as it's legal and both parties are consenting. Gambling, drugs, prostitution, all of it... decimalize it, I don't care.
As far as PC stuff goes... I see far far too much of it, people need to start to get a bit judgy about bad behavior, not this thread, but just in general, things are going to hell in a handbasket lately.
That is why I dropped the PC reference, cause what you posted sounded like some PC BS... I agree with what you wrote though, people should have an open mind, in general, about all things.
Some woman showing a bit of concern for her dad and a woman that is just barely a few yrs older than her is perfectly acceptable to at least give it a once over.
I asked mrs. chow what should would think, as her dad is a good bit older than her, if she was young and a her dad brought home a woman just a few yrs older than her and she was kind of "yeah, that would be weird" didn't mean she wouldn't be polite, she even said that she would have gone to the wedding, as the OP didn't and I think that was sort of a crappy thing to do to her dad, but whatever.
My point... let's just be real, doesn't mean impolite or rude... it just means being realistic.
I'm in my mid-20's. My father (60) recently married someone who is 30 after being with her for about a year. He asked me to attend the wedding and I did not.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it isn't too much of my business. But it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that I am disturbed. When she was born, he was already 30...! I don't want to cause family trouble or drama, but I have been so uncomfortable about the entire situation. I have been avoiding speaking to my dad and only text him. I told him he can visit but he cannot bring his wife... I've not even met this lady yet and to be honest, I don't want to. I am typically very friendly, warm, happy-go-lucky, the type that gets along with mostly everyone however I do tend to speak my mind and I'm not sure how I'll react to her.
UGH. His life, not mine, but its my father so I don't know how to act, what to say. Anyone ever deal with this type of situation?! I sure am curious on what others have to say. In your opinion, is this wrong? Is it fine? They are both consenting adults but that doesn't make it any less uncomfortable for me.
And another question: when it comes to relationships, what age difference do you think is appropriate?
A 30 year old woman...no matter the age difference is an adult...not a teenager being taken advantage of. If the relationship is a good fit for them...then age is nothing but a number. My husband is 10 years older then me.....yeah.....he was out traveling the world when I was still at home playing with dolls. We laugh about it. It's not an issue.
You are acting like a judgemental jerk.....and you are the family drama with behavior like this. At least own that.
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