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I have a friend who looks like George Castanza from Seinfeld. He's about 5'7 or 8. He married his wife of 35 when he was at 53 and had his first of two kids at 55.
I like your post thank you. Yes it is a lot more healthier and I feel much better. I was orginally 340 pounds and to drop to 275 took a lot of hard work. I had to cut back on a lot things and I exercised like crazy. I didn't cheat and take diet pills or do that Jenny Craig diet. I just changed my lifestyle. You wouldn't believe how many people congratulated me at my office on making the effort to loose so much weight and yet people here are saying that I am still obese. A woman that has a heart would like me for who I am and congratulate me on what I accomplished. Of course when I meet a woman I am not jumping in and wanting to marry her right away. I have to go out on dates to get to know her .it is just the women I met didn't want to give me a chance and we're going with a passive attitude
Are you OK with having a relationship and marrying an overweight woman?
At 6'5", 275 isn't that bad. Definitely overweight, and of course losing some more (as mentioned, he is) would help both his health and his dating life, but would have a description of "stocky" more than "fat". I didn't check OP's location, but in areas like the midwest, it's almost average
I don't doubt this. For a guy looking to get married, 40-ish seems almost PRIME. While I don't intend to get married, my options are FAR more wide open at 36 than they ever were, and I don't see it slowing down any time soon.
Family is a slightly different story, and more of a personal decision on the OP's part.
Also, congrats on the weight loss, OP. That's pretty amazing.
Thanks. I really appreciate your comments. Yes I would be considered more sticky now . I mean to do the work to do when I was losing weight at first I worked very hard and everyone found it amazing. No joke I would go for close to an hour after I lost 8 pounds of not stopping in the elliptical machine. I also did swimming. In fact I am buying a lot of new clothes because my pants are so big on me now and even my shirts and I buy nice clothes
Can you give examples of how he might lower his standards?
Can I? I can tell you what's been suggested to me on this very board: 1. Find a woman who isn't a "supermodel", as if thats all I'm after. So the OP can date overweight women, I guess. 2. Find a woman who already has kids so you can raise someone else's kids. 3. Move (not lowering standards, and the only one that makes sense).
To the OP, congrats on losing the weight. It really is a great lifestyle change that will open up doors for you, in addition to obviously lowering your risk of diabetes and other health issues. I've never struggled with weight issues, thankfully, but I do know what you're doing is a great accomplishment and requires a lot of hard work and dedication.
You know, I heard this a ton and bought into it. I changed my body for my own reasons.
It makes a difference.
Same here. Had quite a few people tell me if I lost 20 lbs, I "might" be more dateable. Well, I lost 20 lbs over the summer but it was because my dad died from adult onset diabetes at a young age and I was on a path to follow in his footsteps. This is the one time I have no desire to be my father's daughter!
I look better which has led me to dress better which has led me to feel better and portray more self-confidence. When it comes to dating however, it's made absolutely no difference at all.
... I didn't note where you live, but in this area, 35-45 is pretty much a dead zone when it comes to dating. Four more years (well, closer to 3, actually and my luck should change).
There's much truth in this. Again, depending STRONGLY on geographic locale and on the prevailing local mores, there's paucity of dating-prospects around age 40. Why? Because most of those who wanted to marry, have already done so. But amongst professionals, who presumably knew what they were doing upon getting married, the divorce-wave hasn't yet crested. Those who have divorced already, are now busy raising their kids as single-parents.
Add another 5-10 years, and now we hit the empty-nester and gray-divorce demographic, where the kids from the failed marriage are now young-adults, and many of the shaky marriages that endured for the sake of the children are now getting dissolved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
... Lost a lot of weight, added alot of muscle to shoulders, etc and it totally changed my options. There is little out there like finding someone where your minds meet, and then have them run their arms down your tricep over the evening and say something nice about your body when you're together. ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
Had quite a few people tell me if I lost 20 lbs, I "might" be more dateable. Well, I lost 20 lbs over the summer ...
I look better which has led me to dress better which has led me to feel better and portray more self-confidence. When it comes to dating however, it's made absolutely no difference at all.
As concerns success in dating, the efficacy of weight-loss is spotty. It is entirely possible to go from being a flabby and corpulent man (or woman) bereft of dating-success, to being a fit and muscular man (svelte and trim woman) bereft of dating-success. I would doubt that the OP's difficulties, especially at his current weight, stem from poor physical form.
Also, 6'5" is such an outlier, that we should be hesitant to trot out conventional BMI standards for what constitutes "normal" weight. Instead, I propose a fitness-standard. How many pull-ups can the OP do? How much can he bench-press? What's his 5K time?
As to Timberline's observation of women pleasurably running their hands along one's flexed triceps, cooing with compliments - yes, I can attest to this from personal experience. But I can also attest that this rarely leads to a relationship.
Early 40s is a very attractive age, in my opinion. There are other things to consider of course, but if you're only focusing on age, you have nothing to worry about.
Early 40s is a very attractive age, in my opinion. There are other things to consider of course, but if you're only focusing on age, you have nothing to worry about.
Very true. I consider myself to be a handsome young man still. I always get compliments from co workers that wear nice pressed dress shirts and slacks and very clean dress shoes. They admire me that I have a nice home and drive a nice car but I do not run that in a woman's face to date me because of that. I just have nice things because I have a rewarding career. I really enjoy listening to music and like to sing along to really nice songs. I just wish that I could get s nice woman to like me also for my interests in music.
...I always get compliments from co workers that wear nice pressed dress shirts and slacks and very clean dress shoes. They admire me that I have a nice home and drive a nice car but I do not run that in a woman's face to date me because of that. I just have nice things because I have a rewarding career. ...
A man may be deluged by compliments from other men, but that is completely orthogonal to garnering the favorable interest of women. In other words, what prompts men to admire other men, doesn't at all necessarily convey to the dynamic between the genders.
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I really appreciate your comments. Yes I would be considered more sticky now . I mean to do the work to do when I was losing weight at first I worked very hard and everyone found it amazing. No joke I would go for close to an hour after I lost 8 pounds of not stopping in the elliptical machine. I also did swimming. In fact I am buying a lot of new clothes because my pants are so big on me now and even my shirts and I buy nice clothes
