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Yes but for some people building a connection takes a while and if it's the connection they need before they have sex then chances are if it is taking a while to build the connection they want then that means more time waiting until they have sex. Now obviously this isn't a prerequisite for everyone, and a lot of people have sex without it but for some it is important.
But i think most people hate it when someone in the relationship puts a timeline on sex i think it makes someone want to get laid from someone else if they are not getting some?
Last edited by Haeley_Ramirez; 11-17-2015 at 11:00 AM..
In my opinion
It really depends on the woman you meet.
When I was single and casually dating, I don't even remember an instance where a woman had an issue with sleeping with me the first evening we met. And its not as if I had to try much at all. I'm sure that's possible, just rare in my experience.
I guess it depends on the scenario. Like if my husband died, I can't imagine that getting laid would be on my radar for quite some time. But for the sake of discussion, I suppose I'd start to get twitchy after a couple of months. If for no other reason than for the physical contact that you don't get when going solo.
But i think most people hate it when someone in the relationship puts a timeline on sex i think it makes someone want to get laid from someone else if they are not getting someone?
I think the timeline things works both ways. Putting a timeline when you have to wait and a timeline when you have to have sex can ruin things.
I tend to be ready before anyone I've ever dated, so I just wait until we are both ready and it feels natural. The timelines vary by individual, it's just when both are comfortable really. No one putting pressure on one person to do things sooner or another making someone artificially wait. No game playing either way (and don't mistake it, making someone wait or putting "must put out by X number of dates are both the techniques of those who play games or see dating as a game with winners and losers).
Then again, I also tend to date those who end up in LTR/Committed relationships with me (really good and fun relationships too... and I like that). I like that comfort of a "friend and lover" and find it worth waiting for. I seem to meet quality people that way (well, with the exception of one who used me until someone with more money came along, but nothing is perfect I suppose and there is an element of risk to any trusting relationship).
I can only speak for myself but I never have sex with a man that I haven't known for a while. No man has ever gotten sex from me between dates 1-4. Ironically they always end up believing I dislike them or that I'm not attracted to them because I won't sleep with them. This prevents many potential relationships from moving forward because when they feel like I'm waiting too long they start seeking it from girls that will put out faster. Not a problem with me-to each their own. If a man cannot respect that I do not want to have sex with him after we've only been on a few dates then he can feel free to move on. I sleep fine at night and do not feel like I've missed out on anything because to me 3-4 dates is still someone I don't know very well, so I can't mourn that loss.
As much as I crave the "d" and feel strong attraction to the man in question I've never felt compelled to have sex with a man on the first few dates... I just don't. It's hard to explain but I need to know you before I let you in, if that makes sense. I've never had sex with a man I didn't know very well so I have no idea what that's like or if it's good. Some of my friends have and they all have had mixtures of good and bad experiences. It's a toss up it seems.
The same could probably be said for waiting but it's what I feel comfortable with for many reasons that are important to me.
The kicker is this: nearly every man I meet assumes I'm a freak that's been with a good amount of men and I have not at all. They do not believe me when I lay out the condition of when I have sex. I've been told I give off a vibe. In any case once it becomes clear that I've stuck with what I've said they still only believe that I am either not attracted to them or that I didn't make other guys wait but made them wait even though my sex partner count is so low that ugh nvm. I find it strange that men always assume that if a woman isn't interested in having sex right away that she isn't interested or is only making that man wait and didn't make others wait. Thankfully there are men that are open minded enough to understand that for some women building emotional intimacy is important before sex so they focus on that and wait before pressuring her into sex. These men are becoming rare though.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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If I'm in a relationship with a woman, if she does not put out in 3-4 months, safe to say she ain't interested in sex with me and I end the relationship.
If I'm in a relationship with a woman, if she does not put out in 3-4 months, safe to say she ain't interested in sex with me and I end the relationship.
It depends. I've met men with whom I felt immediate chemistry and sexed quickly (within 1 to 2 months). Others, I waited because something felt "off" about them and I didn't feel comfortable. I need to feel a connection in order to have sex with him.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
If I'm in a relationship with a woman, if she does not put out in 3-4 months, safe to say she ain't interested in sex with me and I end the relationship.
3-4 mos???
That isn't dating. That's hanging out with a buddy.
Months? If I was seeing someone and there was genuine chemistry sex was happening within one to three dates, usually within the first few weeks.
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