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Well, my family is taking the news rather well so far, but I can't say the same for my boyfriend's family. His mother is VEHEMENTLY opposed to us being a couple now that she knows I'm so much older than him. She says it's embarrassing and believes people will think he's a mama's boy and is looking at me as a replacement. I couldn't think of a reply that wouldn't sound disrespectful so just kept quiet. One of his daughters said she is concerned that her dad won't have someone to care for him in his old age. The other daughter never said a word but kept hugging her grandmother, so I don't know what to think. My boyfriend told me to just let him handle his family and things will turn out fine, that they just need time to get used to the idea. I hope so.
How could it be embarrassing, if you look younger than him, anyway? How would anyone know? The families are the only people who will know. People won't think anything, except "there's a nice couple, they seem happy". Your bf should tell his mom this.
And since when are wives required to be caregivers? What if both people in the couple are the same age, and they both need a caregiver? This is exactly why the nursing field is exploding right now; to meet the increased demand for in-home caregivers, nursing homes, etc. That's what those professionals are for.
Furthermore, life, and death, are unpredictable. Your bf could be dead in 10 years, and you could outlive him by another 10. Any concern about relative lifespans is purely speculation.
How does your bf feel about his family's reaction? What did he say, in the moment? And afterwards, to you, privately?
My boyfriend isn't surprised by his family's initial reaction but isn't concerned either. Even we were shocked when we first learned of our age difference and thought about breaking up. Why should they react any differently? He believes they will soon realize our happiness isn't dependent on our ages, just as we did. He wants to give them a little time to see if they will come around on their own. But if not, he will talk with them again. I think that's a wise decision. He keeps apologizing to me for taking me with him when he told them the news. He says he probably should have done that alone. But I'm glad we faced it together. Again, I thank everyone here for your kindness and support.
I personally know 3 couples (all married) who have the same age difference as yours. In fact, one of the marriages the woman is 14 years older and they've been married over 25 years (she's 66 and he's 52). One of the other couples is a 12 yr age difference and they've been married for 21 years. He's 50 and she's 62.
All seems well so don't let people cross boundaries or make trouble where there is none! Go for it!
I didn’t intend for this to happen. It just did. I divorced and moved to another city, took some classes in country dancing and made some new friends and fell in love with one of them. Then we learned that I was 13 years older than him. I'm 68 and he is 55, though I look younger than him. We thought about breaking up but couldn’t do it. Our lives are so much better when we are together! He recently asked me to marry him and I said yes. I don’t think our friends will have an issue with our age difference because they’ve seen us together and know how well we get along. It’s our family, especially the adult children, that are going to give us grief, I just know it. My question is, how do I deal with them? Before anyone asks, money/inheritance will not be an issue, just our age difference. Normally I would say 13 years wouldn’t matter as old as we are, but since it’s the woman who is the older one, I’m afraid that will make it more unacceptable. Your thoughts?
You look younger than him.
13 years is nothing at your ages. Glad you found someone....enjoy, be happy.
Maybe your kids will surprise you....maybe they won't care about the age difff....like you shouldn't.
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take care
