Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My family is a cluster of divorces, decades-long feuds and disownership. In short words, I fled the US and did my own thing until that opportunity ran out on me, because I knew growing up that I don't have family members, just people related to me. This year was kind of my "homecoming," and I was reminded why I made my decision 15 years ago. It's something that you have trouble convincing yourself of, until you actually see it yourself. On a positive note, there aren't any relatives (that I know of) who are in trouble with the law. It's just a lot of hatred and divisiveness that I was born into.
I'm not in a position to date anybody, but I'm wondering what I could tell a special, serious someone, that there's no family of mine to visit? Would that cause a problem, or affect your perception of someone you're dating? Could it possibly be seen as an advantage, since you wouldn't have any potential in-laws that could judge you?
It feels like I've spent my life running away from myself, but as I get older it's tougher to escape where I came from. How am I supposed to marry somebody with the background that I have?
You date a person...not a family. You are not the only one with dysfunctional and out of contact family.
Get help your self esteem on the issue...because it's not reality to think you can't have a successful relationship without an extended family. There is no box to check on a marriage license.
My family is a cluster of divorces, decades-long feuds and disownership. In short words, I fled the US and did my own thing until that opportunity ran out on me, because I knew growing up that I don't have family members, just people related to me. This year was kind of my "homecoming," and I was reminded why I made my decision 15 years ago. It's something that you have trouble convincing yourself of, until you actually see it yourself. On a positive note, there aren't any relatives (that I know of) who are in trouble with the law. It's just a lot of hatred and divisiveness that I was born into.
I'm not in a position to date anybody, but I'm wondering what I could tell a special, serious someone, that there's no family of mine to visit? Would that cause a problem, or affect your perception of someone you're dating? Could it possibly be seen as an advantage, since you wouldn't have any potential in-laws that could judge you?
It feels like I've spent my life running away from myself, but as I get older it's tougher to escape where I came from. How am I supposed to marry somebody with the background that I have?
Everyone has drama, but running away from your drama only serves a short-term purpose.
In the long-term of your life, you will have to teach yourself the things that you should have learned as part of a reasonably healthy family, including how to deal with conflict.
Admittedly, your background is not a plus. We are individuals, but the family is where we are supposed to learn those formative skills that help make us functioning individuals. "No in-laws" can seem like something for the "pro" column, but "hatred and division" are very high hurdles. I encourage you to get professional help to fill in the blanks that could trip you up from here on out.
My family is a cluster of divorces, decades-long feuds and disownership. In short words, I fled the US and did my own thing until that opportunity ran out on me, because I knew growing up that I don't have family members, just people related to me. This year was kind of my "homecoming," and I was reminded why I made my decision 15 years ago. It's something that you have trouble convincing yourself of, until you actually see it yourself. On a positive note, there aren't any relatives (that I know of) who are in trouble with the law. It's just a lot of hatred and divisiveness that I was born into.
I'm not in a position to date anybody, but I'm wondering what I could tell a special, serious someone, that there's no family of mine to visit? Would that cause a problem, or affect your perception of someone you're dating? Could it possibly be seen as an advantage, since you wouldn't have any potential in-laws that could judge you?
It feels like I've spent my life running away from myself, but as I get older it's tougher to escape where I came from. How am I supposed to marry somebody with the background that I have?
It would not bother me that you don't have family, but, if you told me that story, I would question your ability to cope with issues without running away or avoiding them in some manner.
You date a person...not a family. You are not the only one with dysfunctional and out of contact family.
Get help your self esteem on the issue...because it's not reality to think you can't have a successful relationship without an extended family. There is no box to check on a marriage license.
I don't understand how it's a self-esteem issue?
If the person I'm seeing casually asks about my family, and it leads to what kind of relationship I have with them... where I plan to spend the holidays, etc. If I don't have anything positive to say, what could it mean to that person? Saying that I have no relationship with my family isn't a casual declaration, like saying "I prefer Android phones" or "I can't drive manual shift."
Cutting off family I don't have a problem, hiding from family I do.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Being estranged from your family is an emotional trauma, and it can have serious effects on your mental and emotional health.
In addition to not having the self-esteem you should have, you can suffer from loneliness and depression or even find yourself being aggressive with others.
It would not bother me that you don't have family, but, if you told me that story, I would question your ability to cope with issues without running away or avoiding them in some manner.
Well, if I didn't run away, I wouldn't have learned about social skills, how to act in a relationship, and how to avoid holding lifelong grudges. Because I didn't learn it from my parents or extended family. That's how I'd try to explain it, if the person I dated expressed doubts about my background.
I come from a broken family myself, and weird as it may sound, I honestly prefer dating people who can relate to that. I certainly don't seek them out, but seems like majority of my friends & lovers come from broken families. That's "normal" for alotta people these days! So no worries!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
