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I'm in the opposite camp...I'm so tired of this whole twitterized jargon in which people speak and write nowadays. It's pathetic. I could see if an adult is writing to a child or something...then, yeah, you would want to consider your audience and simplify your statement. But you have grown men and women who have so dumbed down their grammar nowadays, that if you write a statement in any kind of a creative-writing style with more than 140 characters, or one that isnt chock full of abbreviations, acronyms and/or ebonics, people start accusing you of trying to sound "fancy" (let them tell it).
I definitely get the whole economy of language thing, but our short snippet/sound bite, twitterized, ADD society has gotten to where it can't stand having to pay attention to anything for more than a few seconds. So when you write in the creative writing style that most were taught as children, people act like you're doing the most, just for trying to communicate thoroughly. And then they hit you with some lame cliche about trying to "sound smart". But yeah, count me in the camp of people who like it when people at least make the effort to write both clearly (doesn't have to be "fancy") and thoroughly.
Last edited by soletaire; 11-19-2015 at 04:56 AM..
I think a lot of the annoyance comes from the part of the US the OP lives in. DC is not average America and perhaps the OP would prefer the rolling hills of Missouri--we're smart too but we ain't puttin' on no airs. LOL.
And for the men that date self-proclaimed "successful" women. One of my pet-peeves is the unnecessary corporate jargon aka business or intellectual talk. Having grown up in the NY/NJ area around a lot of blue collar workers but having been around the federal government for the past 20 years, I have been much more dynamic in language. When I am with my buddies, it's just regular talk. I also know when to turn it down using slang and when to turn it up depending on the situation. But having moved to the DC area, where there are so many educated people, it is often that I run into people, even on weekends outside of work, that continue speaking to me as if I were their office co-worker on the clock. I am extremely good at reading people and language and so whenever I get the endless corporate jargon from women, I easily get turned off. I don't even pursue them especially when the women start with the "I'm an educated independent women" speech. These are the types that have been so independent that they are clueless when it comes to speaking with men. But, it's not that I am intimidated by educated women but it's the sense of "I can do it all and don't need a man", that I simply can't jive with.
But for some reason after meeting someone on tinder, I decided to take another chance. Her profile starts with "I am an educated, self-sufficient, and driven young woman..... and ends of with my ideal mate will be similarly educated and passionate". I sort of joked with her regarding her corporate talk and here is how she responded:
Now, there is nothing wrong with that but I just know from experience that she most likely will not shut it off and I am not like these political nuts. I will probably not pursue it but just out of curiosity, not asking for advice, do you women ever catch yourself with this unnecessary corporate talk? And men, how do you deal with these types? Again, I am not asking for advice, just curious to see how other people see it.
Seriously, this one I am chatting with is just as disconnected as the women in this video...
OP, why in the world are you watching old Oprah clips in the middle of the night??
And why attempt to categorize "women" by A woman you chatted with online???
If someone is condescending to you, move on. If someone doesn't even appear to value you as a person, move on.
But don't get confused about education and success and independence. If you are confident in yourself, you don't blame a mismatch on her being successful.
It does read like a resume summary statement, which doesn't seem appropriate for a dating app. Instead of saying "I am educated," listing the schools and areas of study sounds less pretentious, and is actually specific and useful for attracting like-minded people.
Well, I responded to post that I'm not 'self-proclaimed' educated...I have a master's degree that proves it.
However, I don't feel a need to go around proclaiming it to anyone.
Re: your example, she is within her rights to want to stake her claim...she is proud of overcoming whatever obstacles she experienced. We may not enjoy her company, and that is our right also.
your mistake was in contacting her in the first place. She was very clear in communicating her message and you ignored it (probably because of her picture)
Congrats! you are more self aware than she is. Now, go out and keep looking for the right woman and stop fretting about the women who aren't right.
Well, I responded to post that I'm not 'self-proclaimed' educated...I have a master's degree that proves it.
However, I don't feel a need to go around proclaiming it to anyone.
Re: your example, she is within her rights to want to stake her claim...she is proud of overcoming whatever obstacles she experienced. We may not enjoy her company, and that is our right also.
your mistake was in contacting her in the first place. She was very clear in communicating her message and you ignored it (probably because of her picture)
Congrats! you are more self aware than she is. Now, go out and keep looking for the right woman and stop fretting about the women who aren't right.
This.
I don't brag about my education, level of intelligence, or independence. People can either figure that out for themselves, or not.
As for "corporate speak," perhaps the OP is unaware that there's a difference between a good vocabulary and corporate jargon. I loathe corporate jargon outside of work; heck, I loathe it at work. But a healthy vocabulary just means that I know how to communicate well. I'm not going to use high level words just to make myself seem a certain way, but if someone can't keep up because he doesn't know what a word means, then he's not the man for me.
Oh and by the way, that "educated woman" in your example spelled "put" wrong.
But, it's not that I am intimidated by educated women but it's the sense of "I can do it all and don't need a man", that I simply can't jive with.
You might find the sentiment off-putting, but there's a reason for it. You mentioned that she was black. American black women are the least likely to find a man suitable for marriage, so why express a need for something that you likely won't ever have? Black women have to depend on themselves a lot more than others, and that's just the way it is.
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