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So in all the sanctimony of the OP, he didn't even mention her misspelling of "put?" How magnanimous.
Regardless, for every inarticulate or grammatically challenged person who gets on the internet to reveal his or her insecurities by casting aspersions on--excuse me, throwing shade at--those with larger vocabularies and greater skill with language and writing, there is an educated person who will not so much as consider dating an illiterate mope who uses "u" as a word in written communication.
Now, that said...the problem isn't with women being smart, educated, successful, or independent. It's about whether any of that, or the way they act, is REAL or just a persona that is meaningless? (In my opinion.)
Ditto. It perplexes me that people feel the need to say that they are educated, independent, etc. Those are qualities that speak for themselves, and other people will pick up on rather quickly without having it pointed out to them.
Ditto. It perplexes me that people feel the need to say that they are educated, independent, etc. Those are qualities that speak for themselves, and other people will pick up on rather quickly without having it pointed out to them.
I agree, and I consider myself a fairly level headed guy, but if I start to read that "I'm educated, independent" stuff blah blah blah.... It's the female equivalent of a man chest pounding... like you mentioned we can figure out within a short time if you've got it going on like donkey kong.
I'm not well-versed on corporate talk, but areas within academia, yes, especially as it relates to the Humanities and "soft sciences." Oh, and politics.
But this was never an issue for me when I was dating because I dated men with a similar interest or background in these areas. It's what made them interested in me. My brain meats.
Class, education, humor, kindness...... are something that shows, not that you need to tell everyone about.
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So in all the sanctimony of the OP, he didn't even mention her misspelling of "put?" How magnanimous.
Regardless, for every inarticulate or grammatically challenged person who gets on the internet to reveal his or her insecurities by casting aspersions on--excuse me, throwing shade at--those with larger vocabularies and greater skill with language and writing, there is an educated person who will not so much as consider dating an illiterate mope who uses "u" as a word in written communication.
Win-win!
I would immediately right off anyone who used lazy writing/typing or text speak beyond "lol" and others in this category. Yeah, not happening. I stated this in my profile.
To the OP, I never once had to say I was educated or possessed smarts. Why say it when I can simply demonstrate it, which I did. Heck, knowing the sun is bigger than the earth should have been solid enough proof of my smarts.
I would immediately right off anyone who used lazy writing/typing or text speak beyond "lol" and others in this category. Yeah, not happening. I stated this in my profile.
To the OP, I never once had to say I was educated or possessed smarts. Why say it when I can simply demonstrate it, which I did. Heck, knowing the sun is bigger than the earth should have been solid enough proof of my smarts.
write off?
lol
I do use acronyms like "lol" but would never one-letter a word, like some do with "r" and "u" etc. "lol" has been an internet staple for as long as I've been online, and I used to play games like World of Warcrack so yeah...got used to using it. My son used to call me the "ROFLMom." But I try not to use it like punctuation, some people put it everywhere. It's like really...did you just laugh at the end of every sentence of your profile? Why?
First off, there are women, and then there are resentful women who just have a chip on their shoulder because "my penis is bigger than any man's", and then there are women who really have learned the hard way to be a bit defensive.
With regard to that -- hey, people are people so whatcha gonna do? There's NO SUCH THING as good men or good women, there's only good and bad people, period. When you find good ones, stick around. When you find bad ones, don't get bent out of shape, just move on. Not everybody likes everybody else and that's a fact. Life is too short to waste time with them.
As for the "corporate talk" in the DC area...
Some people put on a show.
Some people really just talk that way, it's habitual and it's part of who they really are.
Once more, whatcha gonna do?
As for the woman herself and her questions regarding whether you've ever dated a black woman...
In this case I cannot make any judgment call which is do-all, be-all, end-all; but I will say that black women who are successful in the business or corporate world have a LOT to deal with, and in my experience it quite understandably takes some time for them to lower their guard. Some of them never do, not ever. Others get past it.
One thing you've got to understand with a lot of black women who are educated and who pursue success is that they're actually fighting an uphill battle which consists not only of vying for success (an uphill battle for anyone) but doing so against the grain of general black culture.
I just know someone will leap on that, suggesting I'm saying black culture is generally unsuccessful. I'm not saying that -- BUT...
When a black man pursues success, he is to be admired per the social purview. It is wrong and silly to say he is "rising above his culture", when in fact he's just a good man trying to do a good job, and that should be the end of it. So he's both insulted and admired, all at once, sort of a back-handed compliment.
When a black woman pursues success in most regions -- and believe me, regionality DOES come into play heavily -- she is seen as more "pragmatic to the point of ruthlessness". Black women have been assigned this sort of televised, pre-scripted larger-than-life embodiment. They are supposed to be overtly-voluptuous, filled with head-twirling-on-neck attitude, hyper-sexualized yet bluntly discerning even to the point of a callous meanness -- and that's just ridiculous!
Unfortunately, even many black men have assigned this quality. It's accepted among lower economic classes, put on as a ready display; and the moment a black woman wants to rise above it, she's "CHASING MONEY", not just a good woman trying to do a good job.
When a black man pursues an interracial relationship, he's assigned the ridiculous status of either "achieving status" OR (dear God, shaking my head) "preying on white women". For all that, it's still not only more accepted but gaining ground as a "norm".
When a black woman shows interest in an interracial relationship she's assigned these AND lambasted by other blacks as a "self-hater" and a "race-hater" and "betraying her own". And these never seem to go away for her.
Black women who have experienced this have also generally experienced something which comes to seem to them less men of other races being genuinely interested in them AS A PERSON, AS A COMPANION, but more "ooooo, the darker the berry the sweeter the juice". They find men interested in them sexually, and NO ONE intelligent wants to be "the forbidden fruit" instead of a beloved partner or companion.
So they have a LOT of crap to deal with, and when a man of another race shows interest then while it's presumptive on the part of the black woman to believe that man is showing misguided interest rather than genuine, experience has often taught them to approach with caution.
Why?
Because they may catch disappointment from the man; they likely WILL catch some hell from their friends and family, and they're already coping with an assigned image from society that tries to pigeon-hole who they are as a person in a very graphic way.
I'd be cautious too, and if I'd seen enough of it I'd be pretty tight-lipped and blunt in my wariness.
I do use acronyms like "lol" but would never one-letter a word, like some do with "r" and "u" etc. "lol" has been an internet staple for as long as I've been online, and I used to play games like World of Warcrack so yeah...got used to using it. My son used to call me the "ROFLMom." But I try not to use it like punctuation, some people put it everywhere. It's like really...did you just laugh at the end of every sentence of your profile? Why?
Yes!! Someone caught it, but not the naysayers of educated women... at least not yet. I guess "smarts" doesn't count since it's slang.
I used to really dislike "lol," but it has grown on me, and the same for lmao and rofl. I use other message board acronyms, but that's about it. I don't even use shorthand for texting. I can't do it.
You usually get this kind of speech from the "first generation" college graduate. This type of woman is usually highly praised in her family for having a basic tool to get a job in the 21st century.
As a result, she feels like everyone needs to know how "educated" she is, as if it's something impressive.
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