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It's a small sample size in the grand scheme of things, but my personal experience has been that 100% of the time, without exception, a woman that claims that she has commitment issues is only claiming such so as not to frighten off a respective man who also has commitment issues. i.e. "Don't worry, I'm the same way". I don't question that some women truly do have commitment issues...I've just never met one myself. VERY few of the women I know have ever said this, and the ones who do are putting up a front and change their tune the moment the opportunity presents itself.
Side note: The basis of my attraction appeals to women who are looking for husbands (meaning, I'm more attractive to women who want LTRs/marriage than women who want casual relationships), so my demographic experience is going to be skewed a bit, naturally.
Edit: as for the reasoning of WHY a woman would have commitment issues? I can't imagine it would be any different than a man's.
I'll be honest and admit that unfortunately, I never realize that I don't want a commitment until I'm already involved with someone. Then I either torpedo the relationship, subconsciously or on purpose, so he'll dump me, or I'll beat the dead horse of a relationship until there's nothing left but scraps of its carcass.
I have recently started realizing that I am a hot mess when it comes to true commitment, but hey, self awareness is progress, right?
The same reason some men do. Relationships are work and can be demanding, also they can leave you quite jaded if it ends badly. Also, add the fear of the unknown. Some people have never been in a relationship and are afraid.
Last edited by 49ersfan27; 11-25-2015 at 02:10 PM..
Commitment "issues" for men and women can be occupational, related to priorities about job vs. relationship/family. Some people just don't want to be tied down or they want to sew some wild oats. These are both rational, based on a conscious set of decisions that can be undone under the right circumstances, usually related to job/career security, or growing up.
Fear of commitment runs much deeper and is sometimes (often?) completely hidden from and unrecognized by the individual who suffers from such fears. It is learned and often takes the form of a self-protection measure to prevent the past from re-occurring. There are many sources; a dysfunctional family life is a pretty typical source in my experience. Children lean to protect themselves from their worst fears, such as abandonment.
The scary part of commitment fears for a "partner" is that people who suffer from this (and who don't recognize it in themselves) often act in ways contrary to their hidden fears. They jump into relationships 110%, but leave them just as suddenly, only to start looking for another relationship. They can often be "fault finders", subconsciously searching for enough red flags so that they can jump ship to save themselves, completely unaware of what they are doing. Another "symptom" is when someone who always seems to pick potential partners who really aren't available.
It's no fun ending up with such a person, that's the bottom line. But usually you don't find out until it's too late.
And then there are people, young or immature, who really don't know what they want in a relationship. They don't fear commitment; they are just a little lost or don't understand what commitment entails.
I'm one of those women with commitment issues. No kids either.
Same here. Really I don't get attached very easily. And I have a small worry that if I got too "committed" and wouldn't get to have fun being involved, meeting new people, and socializing with my different groups of friends!
I am still looking around for a person that is a lot like me, has a lot going on, and isn't a homebody. And that doesn't mind joining me sometimes. And vice versa.
I am a female with no children. I have a fear of missing out. One of the reasons I just broke it off with my boyfriend. He was alot older, and I felt as though I was missing out on life (I would go out with friends and get grilled for days afterwords). It is very selfish to break up with someone who loves you for that reason, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Its not fair, and I am very crushed right now that I could hurt someone the way I just did.
I am a female with no children. I have a fear of missing out. One of the reasons I just broke it off with my boyfriend. He was alot older, and I felt as though I was missing out on life (I would go out with friends and get grilled for days afterwords). It is very selfish to break up with someone who loves you for that reason, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Its not fair, and I am very crushed right now that I could hurt someone the way I just did.
Getting grilled for days after going out with friends is not love, it is possessiveness.
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