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Can anyone explain to me why it is that if a man sleeps with a large number of women he's a player and gets high fives. But a woman is labeled damaged goods if she's slept with too many men.
Why the double standard? And more importantly, why does it matter how many people someone (men or women) sleeps with?
The oldest and most traditional argument is that men don't want to raise children that aren't their own...therefore women have to be faithful. Of course now we have pretty reliable birth control, paternity tests, and divorce. All of which means that women's fidelity is less important - but men are still hung up on unlimited sex for themselves and virginal women - mainly because it's fun for them - they get to have their cake and eat it, too.
The oldest and most traditional argument is that men don't want to raise children that aren't their own...therefore women have to be faithful. Of course now we have pretty reliable birth control, paternity tests, and divorce. All of which means that women's fidelity is less important - but men are still hung up on unlimited sex for themselves and virginal women - mainly because it's fun for them - they get to have their cake and eat it, too.
Fidelity and promiscuity are two different things. A person can be promiscuous when single, but remain faithful once in a committed relationship.
OP, we still live in a misogynistic world. Men can go around and have their fun, yet women are looked down on for doing the exact same thing. Progress has been made, but there is more work to do.
And you are right, it really shouldn't matter how many people a person has slept with prior to committing to someone as long as they did it in a safe and responsible manner and don't cheat!
Can anyone explain to me why it is that if a man sleeps with a large number of women he's a player and gets high fives. But a woman is labeled damaged goods if she's slept with too many men.
Why the double standard? And more importantly, why does it matter how many people someone (men or women) sleeps with?
I'll be blunt: I think that you are talking about 30 years ago. I am 41, and even in my era this kind of thinking was mostly gone. We live in an era when people do whatever they want, and any kind of attempt to create a standard of anykind is derided and ridiculed.
As the for the issue of cheating itself, all cheaters are scum. If you don't want to be with someone, tell them outright and move on.
The only real exception is a situation when someone is trapped in a destructive relationship and would like to leave but can't for whatever reason (children, financial blackmail, violence, etc). There are partners who enjoy relationships of mutual anguish and they pretty much deserve what they get.
Can anyone explain to me why it is that if a man sleeps with a large number of women he's a player and gets high fives. But a woman is labeled damaged goods if she's slept with too many men.
Why the double standard? And more importantly, why does it matter how many people someone (men or women) sleeps with?
Who's giving him high fives? Very few people, these days. Not in the new millennium. Humanity has evolved, OP. Same with the "damaged goods" thing. These days, most people don't know who's done what, and don't much care. The only concern nowadays is about STD's, and they're an equal-opportunity problem.
Fidelity and promiscuity are two different things. A person can be promiscuous when single, but remain faithful once in a committed relationship.
OP, we still live in a misogynistic world. Men can go around and have their fun, yet women are looked down on for doing the exact same thing. Progress has been made, but there is more work to do.
And you are right, it really shouldn't matter how many people a person has slept with prior to committing to someone as long as they did it in a safe and responsible manner and don't cheat!
Very true - but many if not most (especially men) assume that if you are promiscuous you are UNABLE to be faithful once in a relationship.
Well, seeing how virgins are pretty rareast 16 I don't think it's much of an issue now. People are no longer judging either very much but, to the op's point, there definitely was a time when this was very true. Most adults simply don't ask too much about ones sexual past.
Either out of maturity or simply that it doesn't matter as much anymore. Women are pretty much viewed one at a time. the dating sites are known havens for overt promiscuity/adult relationships. No one is losing their dander over it although some may lose a house or car eventually.....
It's just not so much of a deal as everyone is pretty much sexually active so welcome, we are either all whores or all adults.
Pick one.
In the end, most don't care either way. Sobering. Ain't it?
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