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The only people that deny the friend zone exists are the women who enjoy the validation putting thirsty dudes in the friend zone gives them and the men that always agree with them.
A person who likes to deflect blame to others might think that.
If you find yourself in the so-called "friend zone," it's because you willingly stay there.
If you don't want to be friends with someone, don't hang around. But "friend zone" is just a term people came up with to describe their righteous indignation that someone didn't want to go out with them.
I'm not sure why this concept is so hard to grasp / so offensive to some of the women here. It's almost as if you refuse to acknowledge that some women are capable of acting in a less than honorable fashion.
The friend zone is clear. When a guy makes his sexual interest known and the woman does not explicitly turn him down, but neither accepts his advances, while simultaneously flirting, stringing him along, and using his interest in her to obtain emotional support and favors, she is friend zoning him.
It's quite simple. The guy is thirsty and obviously not a lady killer, doesn't know better, and takes all of her (false) indicators of interest as a future chance and sticks around. She, on the other hand, knows quite well the relationship will never progress further.
The above is quite different than a guy harboring feelings he does not express for a friend.
I'm not sure why this concept is so hard to grasp / so offensive to some of the women here. It's almost as if you refuse to acknowledge that some women are capable of acting in a less than honorable fashion.
The friend zone is clear. When a guy makes his sexual interest known and the woman does not explicitly turn him down, but neither accepts his advances, while simultaneously flirting, stringing him along, and using his interest in her to obtain emotional support and favors, she is friend zoning him.
It's quite simple. The guy is thirsty and obviously not a lady killer, doesn't know better, and takes all of her (false) indicators of interest as a future chance and sticks around. She, on the other hand, knows quite well the relationship will never progress further.
The above is quite different than a guy harboring feelings he does not express for a friend.
To expand on this, the friend zone requires:
1. A thirsty, inexperienced male, that has expressed interest, and does not recognize when he's being strung along
2. A selfish woman who enjoys the attention and validation of men chasing her
I said this in another thread, kind of a revelation and I may be way off base with this. But I wonder if a lot of young guys are in the freindzone because they aren't clear with their interest. They don't put things in a perspective where there is a clear, "we are dating" or "we are not dating." They know they have an interest, but the woman in question doesn't clearly know and no one every clearly communicates "yes or no" when it comes to that interest.
It was the thread about "hanging out." Seems like a lot of young men ask young women to "hang out" and don't actually ask them on dates. I say, clearly ask them, "will you go out on a date with me." Then the woman has to say yes or no, no ambiguous "freindzone." Then it's your choice if you want to hang around them or not. If they say no, you can move on (you don't need to hang around and "be friends.") Cut your losses and go to the next woman of interest. But if you are weak on your approach, ask to "hang out" well, you put yourself in this ambiguous relationship because "friends" also hang out... so you are setting yourself up for the friendzone.
I don't know, to me, it seemed like back in the day when I was younger you knew. Your female (or male) friends were friends and it was clear to both parties. And you knew pretty clearly if you were hopelessly pining for someone that wasn't interested in you because you got a clear rejection as some point. Or even better, you (and your SO) knew if you were both dating and a thing because you went out on dates... together and alone... not this ambiguous "hanging out."
Last edited by TMBGBlueCanary; 11-30-2015 at 09:23 AM..
As a guy I have to say that about half the time friendzoning is the guy's fault and half the time it's the fault of both people. Almost never is it the girl alone.
A guy with low self-confidence is required for any type of "zone" to exist. That low self confidence could result from simply being young and inexperienced. It could also result from being a loser. The guy also has to have almost exclusive interest in the girl. If he was interested in other girls, he wouldn't hang around or would simply be happy to be friends (no zone) with the girl. The basis of the friendzone is a guy that wants a girlfriend. If he had one or didn't care, he has nothing to whine about, and therefore no friend zone. The friendzone itself, if I had to define it, is the guy whining... not the actual "relationship" between the parties.
Guys that get friendzoned are portrayed beautifully in Amy Schumer's "M'Lady" sketch. She nails it.
There ARE girls that subtly lead guys on to keep them around to harvest them for their own confidence. However, these girls are rare and still require a desperate guy. Also, these girls are usually quite obvious in their intentions (have a lot of guy friends that they go do things with but never actually date, etc...) and the guys still need to have that ignorant/desperate mindset to play along. "She has all these guy friends, but I'M the one she sees as a legit prospective romantic partner because she was drunk and touched my arm while we were talking!"
No such thing as "friend zone." If there is, then I've been duped. Have had a lot of "friends" tell me that they had feelings for me in my life. Just because you are friends with someone at one time, doesn't mean that you might not become interested in that person on another level at some other point in time. These are all just barriers and boxes that we use to quickly regulate people here or there for convenience. Truth is, what was once your friend, could one day be something more. The best lovers in life are best friends in my opinion.
I would hope that the person whom I love is at the very least, my friend.
I'm not sure why this concept is so hard to grasp / so offensive to some of the women here. It's almost as if you refuse to acknowledge that some women are capable of acting in a less than honorable fashion.
The friend zone is clear. When a guy makes his sexual interest known and the woman does not explicitly turn him down, but neither accepts his advances, while simultaneously flirting, stringing him along, and using his interest in her to obtain emotional support and favors, she is friend zoning him.
It's quite simple. The guy is thirsty and obviously not a lady killer, doesn't know better, and takes all of her (false) indicators of interest as a future chance and sticks around. She, on the other hand, knows quite well the relationship will never progress further.
The above is quite different than a guy harboring feelings he does not express for a friend.
That's not the friendzone. The FZ is where she tells the guy she only wants to be friends with him.
What you are describing is a woman leading a guy on.
I'm only friends with older women (I'm talking 10+ years).
They usually give good advice, and I know they won't "grow" on me.
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