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"most American guys prefer foreign women anyway"
Not me
Divorce rates are caused from many reasons, many people get married without knowing each other well, some people divorce because it is easier than working out the problems and so on and so on. Maybe it's because women here are smart and don't put up with the B.S.
I tell you from expierence men want foreign women. These men always chose foreign lady over american lady for many reason. One thing is foreign women are very pretty lady and most american women maybe not so pretty. Also these foreign women very nice and treat man good. American women very spoiled like child and selfish.
I tell you from expierence men want foreign women. These men always chose foreign lady over american lady for many reason. One thing is foreign women are very pretty lady and most american women maybe not so pretty. Also these foreign women very nice and treat man good. American women very spoiled like child and selfish.
Yes, I agree. I would take the ugliest foreign lady over the average American woman any day because they are much nicer and take care of themselves. I would take a european or middle eastern woman over an American woman that needs a constant flow of money and maintenance. I think the main difference between American woman and European woman is that American woman want the top 5% of good looking dudes or a guy they can repair, a "project" if you will. Where as, most men in this country will pretty much settle for a nice lady and thats why they like foreign women. In Europe, sure looks matter to an extent, but women are not as nearly as shallow as American women.
Because we still afix our mental idea of success on marriage and family. So, we teach our children, it's not normal to NOT be married. When your young, b/c our parents haven't taught us, it's not important to grow up, get married and hand diapers on the washline...errr, excuse me, throw pampers in the trash....we don't emphasize enough on personal developement, understanding ourselves...who we are....why, when we get married, we don't even know ourselves yet...what are dreams are....people are not nearly grown enough mentally to know what their needs are....to be confident enough to realize our opportunities, and the extent of our possibilities. All we understand is, that marriage is the legal/moral definition of sex. Sheesh....??????? Think about it....
Human beings are babies in life when they marry, and we as of yet, have not nearly progessed to our potential scholastically, and in the matters of common sense...we haven't even developed moral issues, who we are...where we need to go...what we want to be....and yet, we marry, have sex and have children, and repeat the same uneducated belief, over and over again.
People get married to be taken care of....which is so selfish and irresponsible....people get married b/c they got caught (pregnant) which in this day and age, to me, is really ridiculously shows just how uneducated we really are. There is so much out there in the way of birth control...yet, why don't we use it? Why do parents fight so much to keep their kids from using protective sex? Human beings are just that, human beings...bottom line is they have a sex drive and they will most assuridly, satisfy that drive...and the sooner human beings drop the old fashioned clock and dagger Christianity idea about sex....the sooner we will develop a greater race.....more intelligent and able to problem solve, with a great deal of common sense, to realize, we need to work together as a team, to accomplish. The more divided a nation is, the more cultural differences there are, the more we feel the need to be led by men, to consider society's approval for happiness....the less likely we are to evolve.
when people realize, no one, but no one, can make you happy but you...things will slowly start to evolve as they should. You don't have to seek approval from anyone to be happy. If going to a movie, or taking a vacation, makes you happy, do it. We as human beings are way to conditioned and hold onto very primitive traditional values that never work, while others do...we have to learn to, that change is a good thing...we have to protect our children, to give them all opportunity for education....and stop this old fashioned primitive idea, that we as a nation, need a King (president) etc. to tell us how to act, who to be, and learn to problem solve and think for ourselves.
I know why! Because we are all promiscuous! *I think I spelled that right*
I think you should speak for yourself. I studied all that stuff in biology, back in high school. And, while I don't remember exactly what I was, I do know for a fact, that I'm NOT one of THOSE!!
I think you should speak for yourself. I studied all that stuff in biology, back in high school. And, while I don't remember exactly what I was, I do know for a fact, that I'm NOT one of THOSE!!
Nobody should live their whole lives miserable but more 'somebodies' need to be committed to the vows they pledge to mishigas73!
It may be because I haven't had my coffee yet this morning, but I don't get what you mean by this. Please explain...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxson
It is called accountabilty if you are old enough to enter into a committment then you are old enough to follow through with it. Yes like Mom2Feebs said there are circumstances that you shouldn't have to stay with. But on the most part again it goes back to people not taking marriage for the seriousness of which it is and should be!
And, if someone isn't mature enough yet to know who they are, in themselves, when they get married, they should just "suck it up" when they realize that they want something different out of life?
What exactly does "following through with it" mean, Jaxson? Where do you draw the line?
IMO, marriage "should be" a partnership between two people, with the same rights and responsibilities that you get when entering into just about any other legal contract. Often times, problems arise when one of the parties realizes that they didn't get what they bargained for. If that's the case, the partnership should be dissolved, if that's what that party desires. No one should be forced, legally or otherwise, to stay in a marriage that they do not want to be in. Most particularly by some sort of amorphous "moral judgment" that others make.
If others disagree, that's their prerogative. But, frankly, I'm sick of people (generally speaking) who somehow think that it's their prerogative to stick their noses into what is, at the end of the day, the private business of others. Don't you all have enough to worry about in your own lives?
Because we still afix our mental idea of success on marriage and family. So, we teach our children, it's not normal to NOT be married. When your young, b/c our parents haven't taught us, it's not important to grow up, get married and hand diapers on the washline...errr, excuse me, throw pampers in the trash....we don't emphasize enough on personal developement, understanding ourselves...who we are....why, when we get married, we don't even know ourselves yet...what are dreams are....people are not nearly grown enough mentally to know what their needs are....to be confident enough to realize our opportunities, and the extent of our possibilities. All we understand is, that marriage is the legal/moral definition of sex. Sheesh....??????? Think about it....
Very well put.
I wrote a piece several years back about just this topic. It centered around the idea of marriage and family being "the brass ring", and my personal experiences with it. My mother, as enlightened as she was (and still is), tried to instill in me, practically from birth, that marriage and family was something that I, as a female, should be striving for. That, without it, life wasn't going to be fulfilling.
I was inspired to write it after having a long talk with a dear friend of mine, who had been married and divorced twice himself. I don't recall exactly how the conversation started, but I'd be willing to wager that it had something to do with my mother, yet again, telling me how much she wanted grandchildren by me. He said to me, "you know, if you had followed that 'path', you probably would have been married and divorced at least once by now". And, he was probably right. Not because I wouldn't have wanted it to work, and wouldn't have tried my hardest. Not in the least. It would have been because, in my 20's, *I* changed. I grew and I learned. I learned a lot more about the "big world" than I ever thought possible, and, as a result, I learned about what my place in that world was. Where I felt most comfortable and most happy.
I look back on it now and say, "thank GOD I didn't go that path". With the benefit of hindsight, I have the opportunity to look at my mother's "lessons" about this and say, she really WAS missing something with it. She was focusing on the idea of "marriage", rather than on the individuals involved. Without the individuals truly knowing themselves and coming to an understanding about their place in the world, "marriage" loses a lot of meaning.
So, with that being said, I *do* have an issue with what people say "should be". The idea of the individual has lost practically all meaning when it comes to this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
we haven't even developed moral issues, who we are...where we need to go...what we want to be....and yet, we marry, have sex and have children, and repeat the same uneducated belief, over and over again.
In, as I referred to it in my piece, the "cult of marriage", I believe that this is absolutely true. People do, WAY too often, sacrifice their own selves for the benefit of the "cult". We are taught that this "quest for the brass ring" is the be-all, end-all, and in the process, we tend to lose sight of our "self". And then, Lord forbid, we should grow and understand that, perhaps, a life-long partnership with this person that we committed to isn't where we want to be, for ourselves, the other actors in this "morality play" come in. No, no, you can't leave the "cult". You're liable to let some of the secrets out. That's a frightening prospect for many.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
when people realize, no one, but no one, can make you happy but you...things will slowly start to evolve as they should. You don't have to seek approval from anyone to be happy. If going to a movie, or taking a vacation, makes you happy, do it. We as human beings are way to conditioned and hold onto very primitive traditional values that never work, while others do...we have to learn to, that change is a good thing...we have to protect our children, to give them all opportunity for education....and stop this old fashioned primitive idea, that we as a nation, need a King (president) etc. to tell us how to act, who to be, and learn to problem solve and think for ourselves.
Again, that "sense of self". Being selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.
What society feels "should be" in terms of institutions such as marriage, should never trump the way things ARE, and the way that we, as individuals, ARE. After all, without an understanding of oneself, and at the very least, a contentedness with oneself, the institution of marriage becomes yet another mindless exercise. And just perpetuates the cycle...
For the record, I absolutely do NOT have a problem with the institution of marriage, in itself. I DO have an issue, though, with the outside morality that has been put on it, and the fact that many people in society feel (and instill the same feeling in their kids) that this is the "be all, end all" of humanity.
With all the problems my marriage had I would have stayed in it and tried to work them out but when I found out about the infidelities that pretty much killedany chances of having it work.
I know a lot of people would work through that as well. That's were it stops for me. Any signifigant other who would consider compromising your love and life together, over an ejaculation, is not worth the skank he rode in on, imho !
1. The system has made it easier to divorce than to work out the problems.
2. Lawyers make a divorce as adversarial as possible. Pumps up their fee's.
3. Depending where you live the man gets a healthy screwing from the system.
4. America has lost its sense of duty and loyalty to family.
5. Lawyers. Lawyers are pretty much the root of most problems. Ever wonder why the yellow pages have more ads for lawyers than doctors or any other service? Not me I know why. Divorce and lawsuits.
It seems, from a brief glance at that list, that countries that tend to be more religious have lower divorce rates. Spain, Italy, Israel, India, etc.
I have always thought that the divorce rate was high in the US because it's a more viable option than it is in a lot of other places. If your religion doesn't prohibit it (or *really* frown on it), and society otherwise accepts it, it becomes a much more attractive alternative than staying in a relationship that you don't want to be in.
Spain is not really a religious country at all.....
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*I think I spelled that right*
