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However, for someone like myself who's thrown in the towel a long time ago.
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Originally Posted by natiam
Didn't read the entire thread, but OP, did you not say in another thread that you found it impossible for a woman to be attracted/interested in you? And that you are usually oblivious to any signs of interest? lol
It really sounds like it's the 5 things that you wish would happen to you.
Didn't read the entire thread, but OP, did you not say in another thread that you found it impossible for a woman to be attracted/interested in you? And that you are usually oblivious to any signs of interest? lol
I don't tend to be the kind of person who meets someone the first time and fall head over heels. I can meet some lady and think O' she's pretty, but I'm not tripping over myself to get to know her better. I'm in no rush, my life is good, I like who I am, and I'm just not looking and it shows. Maybe that's appealing to some women, it sure seems to be the case. I guess there's something attractive about a guy who's got his act together and isn't throwing himself at ever skirt that walks by. Women do notice these things, it comes out in your behavior and your actions, whether known or unknown. You just walk a certain way, you talk a certain way, your not a bore, but yet mysterious all the same.
Last edited by Ironhorse444; 12-28-2015 at 07:27 AM..
OP: First off, it sounds to me like your 'open and friendly' outward demeanor is a veil for a totally different personality, so it's understandable that you attract people who show interest. Why turn on the charm, then? Since you're likely "hating" a lot of the people that you're being friendly to, you are bringing on most of that unwanted attention yourself.
I seldom hate anyone, but I am who I am and there's not much I can do about that, No veil here. I am friendly and open towards others, but that doesn't mean I want them hitting on me. I am charming and I don't mean that in a conceited way, it's just who I am.
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Are you attractive enough? Then people will look - get over it.
What's attractive? Attraction is all in the eye of the beholder, correct?
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Don't want interest shown in you? Fair enough. But don't invite it by being 'open and friendly'.
I don't and do my best to not send the wrong signals when I'm aware that's the signal they believe me to be sending.
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Don't know what you mean by invading your space. By talking to you? Stopping in your office to visit? Trying to pry into your personal life? What?
No, I guess you don't. Let me explain again, there is a grave difference between warranted attention and unwarranted attention. Don't go snuggle up next to a person who's backed away, they're not interested in you. Talking is fine but pay attention to whether they like speaking with you or it's more of an annoyance to them as if they'd rather be having a root canal. It doesn't mean they dislike you or they're unfriendly, they're just not enjoying your company and your probably a bore to them.
No, I guess you don't. Let me explain again, there is a grave difference between warranted attention and unwarranted attention. Don't go snuggle up next to a person who's backed away, they're not interested in you. Talking is fine but pay attention to whether they like speaking with you or it's more of an annoyance to them as if they'd rather be having a root canal. It doesn't mean they dislike you or they're unfriendly, they're just not enjoying your company and your probably a bore to them.
Well, one thing that may always work against you as a 'friendly introvert', is that most people are NOT good at reading others or picking up vibes. I realize that we're not mind-readers, but I'm still quite often shocked at people's inability to read those that are close enough to them.
Good example is this odd couple I know where the wife is very much like you, and sometime back her husband - to make an interesting story short - put her in a situation where she had to deal with some clients of his. Later, she literally beat her husband so badly that he should have pressed charges.
Point is, I met this woman only ONE time, and I would never - EVER!! - consider assign this person into entertaining clients! If I could read this into someone I don't know then so should her husband. ESPECIALLY her husband! (However, I think she has worse issues than just being introverted, so no, I'm not comparing her to you).
Well, one thing that may always work against you as a 'friendly introvert', is that most people are NOT good at reading others or picking up vibes. I realize that we're not mind-readers, but I'm still quite often shocked at people's inability to read those that are close enough to them.
Good example is this odd couple I know where the wife is very much like you, and sometime back her husband - to make an interesting story short - put her in a situation where she had to deal with some clients of his. Later, she literally beat her husband so badly that he should have pressed charges.
Point is, I met this woman only ONE time, and I would never - EVER!! - consider assign this person into entertaining clients! If I could read this into someone I don't know then so should her husband. ESPECIALLY her husband! (However, I think she has worse issues than just being introverted, so no, I'm not comparing her to you).
I'm not an introvert. If I were to describe myself using your terms (putting my humble nature aside for the moment). I'm an extrovert who's got a direct line to my introvert side. Most people are terrified of going on a stage and having to speak to large groups of people, were it doesn't bother me in the least. Front and center and I'm basking in the sunlight, but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate my quiet alone time. My Yin & Yang are in perfect balance.
But getting to your story, that's interesting and how very sad at the same time. Geez, The man should've never pushed his wife into doing what was his job to do. I've never understood the mindset of lazy men? Do they not have any honor or integrity? I've seen women fall for that sort of guy time after time why I don't know. A smooth talker isn't genuine but a genuine guy can be a smooth talker, the difference being the latter has honor and integrity. We all make mistakes it's those who own up to them who do the best.
If some people want say I over analyze things that's their prerogative (I'm not saying that you are), then that's their business. I just find it comical that they give so little thought to what they do, what others do. Geez they've just described ever Doctor of Psychology as an idiot. I guess for some living a life of naiveness is a comfort to them, they can always say "You think too much". Maybe not thinking well enough has been a problem for them, I know I've seen it a great many others. Drug abuse, alcoholism, spouse abuse, financial problems, failed marriages, the list goes on and on. Nearly all of these could be avoided if they just had a grip on their lives and had more respect for themselves. But no they shed their responsibility and like to say it's all of us who do better and think better than they, who are at fault. Our standards are too high, and we think too much.
You need to relax, but I'm sure everyone has told you that already.
Most people who dislike something don't really go around analyzing why they dislike it, let alone think about it as much as you are.
Actually I've been the one saying relax slow things down, give thought to what you see, but some just haven't heard it.
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