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Old 05-16-2016, 07:27 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,902,235 times
Reputation: 15255

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OP, you are in love with this false person he painted you.

You said he's a good salesman. You said he tells people what they want to hear. You also said he makes you jealous because he flirts around.

All of these things should tell you he is a fake!

Move on and have no contact with him.

 
Old 05-16-2016, 12:21 PM
 
11 posts, read 8,872 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for your opinions. I think that due to absence of romance in my life (i mean that wow feelings) I just project everything I want on him because he is the only person with whom i had that.
Maybe i am a little confused you because I didn't change topic of this thread. But I have already made a decision to split with husband. But it will be postponed till September 2017.
Yes, I understand, most modern people date around, have many boyfriends and could start new relationships after a week of ending previous. I don't understand all that hook up culture. I am just that conservative, deep and constant.
I know i will handle that situation, i am already very close, before vacation I even didn't think about him. But, during them, I just finally understand- I can't sacrifice romance. Maybe later in life, I will understand that it was wrong decision, but that would be only my decision and I pay that cost.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,700,060 times
Reputation: 98359
It's very easy to use fantasies to manufacture the feelings that are missing in your real life.

It doesn't mean you have to chase them.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:05 PM
 
1,504 posts, read 846,435 times
Reputation: 1372
Ruth always gives good advice. There is certain frivolousness about this thread..Who if they are a serious person would ask such advice on line? Perhaps you should start off with some tenderness with your husband. A soft kiss - a warm embrace goes a long way to creating a love life that includes sex.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,700,060 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by O.A.Bachlow View Post
I would divorce YOU specifically for writing a length unreadable post...that has not been broken up into consumable paragraphs....
English is not her first language. I've seen native speakers do much worse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by O.A.Bachlow View Post
Ruth always gives good advice. There is certain frivolousness about this thread..Who if they are a serious person would ask such advice on line? Perhaps you should start off with some tenderness with your husband. A soft kiss - a warm embrace goes a long way to creating a love life that includes sex.
She is not attracted to the man she married and does not respect him. Sure, she handled it all wrong, but the whole situation is a mess anyway.

She needs to start fresh and grow up.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Self explanatory
12,601 posts, read 7,180,786 times
Reputation: 16799
What a trainwreck.

Leave your husband, you aren't doing him any favors by sticking around when you have mentally checked out.

The married man isn't leaving his wife for you. You are living a fantasy.

Sounds like you are just afraid to be alone, and afraid of the loneliness you'll feel after realizing you broke up your relationship by cheating with a married man.

Sounds like a case of the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You ask why life is so difficult, well, to be honest, you put yourself in the situation.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:16 PM
 
1,504 posts, read 846,435 times
Reputation: 1372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
English is not her first language. I've seen native speakers do much worse.



She is not attracted to the man she married and does not respect him. Sure, she handled it all wrong, but the whole situation is a mess anyway.

She needs to start fresh and grow up.
She must have been attracted to him to begin with. I would not say she is actually attracted to someone else...it is more like distracted. She has allowed herself to be seduced away from her own husband. What happens a lot of the time is that in time the new one will lose interest...also -I could never fully trust a woman who betrays her husband. She will practice betrayal again.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:43 PM
 
11 posts, read 8,872 times
Reputation: 10
Mod cut: reply to post which has been deleted.

All that you all have told me, everything is correct, even if of course difficult to read, I mean, painful. You don't know me well and make assumptions that maybe are not correct but it is me who came for advice, so, please feel free to continue punish me

I know that i am the only one person who is responsible for my life. My husband knows that i will not be with him, our relationship was originally built on friendship and attraction was never the case. It is his decision to stay with me. All that is really very complicated.
Best I can do is learn from my mistakes and try to be better person.

Dear O.A, does that look better? you can marry me again, but better don't, because obviously I can betray you.

I hope, you understand my sense of humor and will not be offended.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-17-2016 at 10:06 AM..
 
Old 05-16-2016, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,700,060 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by O.A.Bachlow View Post
She must have been attracted to him to begin with. I would not say she is actually attracted to someone else...it is more like distracted. She has allowed herself to be seduced away from her own husband.
TO refresh your memory, I would refer back to the beginning of the OP. She met her husband on a dating site when she was 18, she was NOT attracted to him, but he proposed and convinced her mother they should marry. She never slept with him before marriage, and is basically living with a friend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 7zvezda View Post
My story with husband. He was my one &only man in sexual way. We have met through dating site, then talked by phone for hours. Then met live. I was not impressed too much, even not at all.
That she will cheat again is not a foregone conclusion by any means.
 
Old 05-16-2016, 03:36 PM
 
11 posts, read 8,872 times
Reputation: 10
Yes, you are right. The last thing i will do is cheat. I thought so much why? Why it is happened? Maybe because I always have seen husband more as a friend? Anyway, I can't remove that chapter of my life.

And, actually, you know what, i am proud to be "train wreck".
10 years i was best girlfriend and wife that could be and my husband never felt lack of my warmth or my tenderness to him. By "no romance in my life " I mean that I don't have that "butterflies " to him.
But i have: weekend breakfasts he makes for me, kisses, constant support, he treats me like queen, I have nothing to complain. And i do the same. I always support him and give my warmth. My guy friend even asked me to teach his wife how to be such a good wife like I am.
And he is good kisser and good at sex. Just, not for me, the reason is physical incompatibility, it could not be fixed. It is simply painful and only can work with additional liquid. And I could not know that before marriage. I paid high price for that.

Yes, i was seduced by other man and after that I was crashed and couldn't stop myself because I never knew before that sex could be pleasant like that.

I'm sorry for such personal details. But I think that is key to my story. But for me it is already too much, in my usual life i am crazy protecting my privacy and never share such details about me with people I know a little.
Why I wrote here in a first place? I simply needed to release my emotions, maybe better was start a blog
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