dumping someone and then being avoided by them

[WizardOfRadical]

lol

[stepka]

Originally Posted by stormgal

Long story short, a close friend of mine broke up by text message (which I think was wrong). She text her boyfriend something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't think this can work out."


Do you think her ex is reacting in anger by avoiding her completely - even in a social setting - which hurt her feelings- or is it normal to cut off someone completely after they dump you? What could be going on in his mind? I know he cared about her because when they were together, he himself told me that he wants to marry her.

Opinions, please

I'm going to swim against the tide and point out that there may be a good reason to break up with someone with a text b/c it happened to me. How long did they date, BTW?

This is what happened to me: I got up very early one morning and found the following text--"I feel like I'm losing you. Am I?" As it turned out, his feeling was correct and I had planned to break up with him in person on the following weekend, or maybe on the phone that night since we were in a LD relationship. But when I got the text, I knew he was at work and couldn't talk, and leading him on for the entire day didn't seem appropriate, and not answering seemed just plain mean. Saying talk to you later seemed mean too. So I told him that he had lost me--in text. Then we talked later that evening. I hated doing it that way, but he did ask. We still talk sometimes, though I have no interest in being with him again, so I assume he doesn't hold it against me and in fact he would date me again if I were so inclined.

As for the man wanting to marry her--did she know that? I have gotten out of relationships b/c it felt like the man didn't care at all, and found out later that he did but he did a poor job of showing it, or maybe he just wasn't compatible with me in the way he showed it. Either way it wasn't going to work. You didn't say what the habit is either--it could be something that is basic to who she is and his wanting her to change showed a basic incompatibility. It's not really fair to ask someone to change just to suit him, though people do it all the time--usually they wait till they're married.

Anyway, I do agree that the woman sounds immature, but I did want to point out that sometimes (rarely) it may be appropriate to break up that way.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by stormgal

Long story short, a close friend of mine broke up by text message (which I think was wrong). She text her boyfriend something like, "I'm sorry, but I don't think this can work out."

He did not respond at all to the text message. In fact, a month has passed and he still has not answered, nor has he tried to contact her in any way, shape, or form.

Recently, she has bumped into him in a social setting. He was talking to one of his male friends and completely ignored my friend. She felt hurt by his avoiding her and is wondering if he cared about her at all.

I told her that she is wrong by treating such a good man like garbage (by texting a breakup right before the holidays), and now she's upset with me.

Do you think her ex is reacting in anger by avoiding her completely - even in a social setting - which hurt her feelings- or is it normal to cut off someone completely after they dump you? What could be going on in his mind? I know he cared about her because when they were together, he himself told me that he wants to marry her.

Opinions, please

First off its his business, second he can do what he wants she threw in the towel without an explanation and texting like a little kid when they were in a grown up relationship.

I'd avoid her too.