Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
While the OP may not see it, it's valuable information for some of the rest of us. I'm 48 and single, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I do know that I'd like to smack many of the hotels and resorts because of their ridiculous extra charges for staying as a single! It's as if "double occupancy" is the Holy Grail!
For real. Have you ever looked into the cost of taking a cruise by yourself?
You pay double, unless you want to get matched with a same sex roommate. Me, if I ever go on one I pay double or I don't go.
As far as this old topic I agree with the poster that said not to waste your 40s. It gets worse in your 50s.
My relationship of 25 years came to the end just before christmas. At the same time my dear father passed away and I found my feelings all confused and jumbled up with grief. I was almost numb for a while. People at work confused that for me being able to cope...in a way so did I.
Thats why it was a suprise to find myself feeling so much pain now.
Now the real me is starting to resurface and I realise the pain of the relationship break up was hidden by the grief for my father and its just started to hit me hard.
I am 42 and to be honest quite lonely, I love my 3 children, but as teenagers they have their own lives, quite rightly so as well.
This weekend has been very bad. I Spent the time feeling down, dont know why....well, yes I do. It seems everyone else has a life except me!
Eldest (18) is with his GF (quite rightly so). Middle son (nearly 15) spent his weekend with his friends, Daughter (12) spent the weekend with my mum and her friends..
I just spent it doing housework!
I have come to the conclusion I am lonely, and it will get worse. I need to take a leaf out of my mums book.
She is 70 and yet she goes scottish dancing, badminton, Bowls, bridge etc...
I spend all my time alone and go no where. Hard when you suddenly find yourself single at 42! It was easier before, I had my dear father to think about, now he has passed I have nothing to fill my days, hence doing 20 hours overtime a week!
To make matters worse (and I know this shouldnt bother me...but it does, god how it does!)
My ex is happy, playing golf, going to the gym, out with his friends drinkng, eating. He is off to Portugal in May and then off to Dubai with friends in September. I resent the fact he dosnt miss the chidlren...or me! I suppose I wanted him to at least acknowledge the fact I meant something to him once (25 years is a lot of life to share with someone...isnt it)
Ok....so that was the weekend, I suppose its understandable I turned to food to help me feel better. Today is a new day, and I will try harder.
I am 43 on 24th March (Easter Monday) so I am making that the day my life will start. I am going to book up something for every saturday from then on. The only thing is I will have to do everything alone..as all my friends are in couples and although mean well, they have no time for a recently single lady...I am seen as a threat in some ways..they either think my unfortunateness will rub off on their relationship or I will poach their hubby! (which I wont!)
Anyway...going out alone is scary but not as scary as spending week after week alone watching the telly
Any advice appreciated
42? Good grief, your life has just begun anew! I was divorced from hubby #1 when I was 31 years old and my son was 11. I moved from a small town in Northern Maine to my home back here in CT which was huge culture shock for my son. I got my own place, a great job and although I had to FIGHT for a lousy $50.00 a wk. child support from the ex, was VERY happy being away from him..he never saw his son and still doesn't. After some time, I remarried the love of my life who passed away a year later, devastated me and I thought my life was over. 6 months after that, I ended up in the hospital with suspected ovarian cancer..thank God it wasn't. In between all this "stuff" both my parents passed away. Life happens!! I am now married to a wonderful man who is 10 years younger than me, has a wonderful job and we have a beautiful life. I have still had my share of bumps and bruises along the way, one being an upper thoracic aneurysm that required 9 hours of surgery..I quit smoking after 30 plus years of it...and have lost 85 lbs!! LIFE HAPPENS. You must have a few friends you can get out with to a movie or a day at the park or beach..go alone!! You are YOUNG and should take another chance at being happy. Stop worrying about what your EX is doing and start worrying about how you can make a new life for yourself. By the way, I was 55 when I married my present husband after having met him when I was 50 and we are blissfully happy. Good Luck!!
Life is exactly what you make of it, if you think it's going to be bad, then it most certainly will...
I can't stress how many times I've had to start over...and let me tell you, material things mean nothing...compared to the experiences of life, travel, observing other cultures, learning, learning learning, until the day you die...it's not only inspirational, but rewarding, but one has to extend themselves and prioritize....
you don't have to be married to be successful...and being in love is fine and dandy, but you've got to have more then love when it all starts to change...and it does and will change...life is like a revolving planet, ever changing...and learning how to roll with the punches....being single to me, is great...
No one can tell you how much time it takes to get over pain of loss. Or to "get a life", you know you need to do it, you even know what to do, take yoga classes, volunteer, whatever..(He real issue is caring enough to get out of the house and make a new life. I am there too, and have been for several years. Things change gradually, but I also have grown kids now, who are independent, it is a good feeling, but sad too. Wish you the best. Get a dog or cat, at least that is a start.
I never properly started to begin with, so at 44 I am on the prowl. Doing things and experiencing things I should have went through in my 20's. Whatever. I foresee fatherhood by 50 and walking around in my 70's with a cane like Fred Blassie yelling at my twenty something children.
42? Good grief, your life has just begun anew! I was divorced from hubby #1 when I was 31 years old and my son was 11. I moved from a small town in Northern Maine to my home back here in CT which was huge culture shock for my son. I got my own place, a great job and although I had to FIGHT for a lousy $50.00 a wk. child support from the ex, was VERY happy being away from him..he never saw his son and still doesn't. After some time, I remarried the love of my life who passed away a year later, devastated me and I thought my life was over. 6 months after that, I ended up in the hospital with suspected ovarian cancer..thank God it wasn't. In between all this "stuff" both my parents passed away. Life happens!! I am now married to a wonderful man who is 10 years younger than me, has a wonderful job and we have a beautiful life. I have still had my share of bumps and bruises along the way, one being an upper thoracic aneurysm that required 9 hours of surgery..I quit smoking after 30 plus years of it...and have lost 85 lbs!! LIFE HAPPENS. You must have a few friends you can get out with to a movie or a day at the park or beach..go alone!! You are YOUNG and should take another chance at being happy. Stop worrying about what your EX is doing and start worrying about how you can make a new life for yourself. By the way, I was 55 when I married my present husband after having met him when I was 50 and we are blissfully happy. Good Luck!!
This post is the most inspiring post of the day
Sounds like you have your act together- and didn't let the adversities keep ya' down. Far too many people would have given up, w/ just a few of the things you faced.
And they also would have pulled the poor me mentality
Congrats on your new marriage
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 48 and single, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I do know that I'd like to smack many of the hotels and resorts because of their ridiculous extra charges for staying as a single! It's as if "double occupancy" is the Holy Grail! 
