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Old 01-01-2016, 05:03 AM
 
22 posts, read 27,209 times
Reputation: 51

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To answer OP's question:

No.

Guys don't care about a romantic interest's career;
What they do care about is:
Is the girl attractive looking for them?
Is the girl pleasant to be around? (ie: No nagging, no drama, no endless gossiping)
Do we have common hobbies?
Do our personalities fit? (For example, a bookworm will feel at odd with a clubber, same for a hardcore left-wing voter with a conservative).

That's about it.
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Old 01-01-2016, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Land of Wind & Ghosts - Florida
98 posts, read 72,741 times
Reputation: 88
Guys are more dumb compared to women when it comes to choosing a mate - so no, they don't tend to be as selective across the board.

When it comes to love, women usually have the edge, the two powers - beauty and intuition. Love is primarily a woman's game, men just go along for the ride.

That said, it takes two to tango..... so, in reality, women only have a slight edge.
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Old 01-01-2016, 08:42 AM
 
1,188 posts, read 958,642 times
Reputation: 1598
Yes, but in the opposite way. Men want a woman whose background isn't superior to theirs. They want to be the more successful one in the relationship, or at least be as successful as their woman is.
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Old 01-01-2016, 09:10 AM
 
1,188 posts, read 958,642 times
Reputation: 1598
Quote:
Originally Posted by MapleFever View Post
Guys don't care about a romantic interest's career
I think they do care. Guys who feel their career is an aspect of their standing in society will be intimated by women who have more lucrative careers than they do. I would probably feel intimated by a woman who worked at Goldman Sachs or Google. It would depened on her attitude towards her standing, however. Some people who have good jobs are discreet about it, don't have an aura of superiority about them.
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Old 01-01-2016, 12:40 PM
 
19 posts, read 23,220 times
Reputation: 15
Thanks all for your insight

Of course when I say if a guy cares about a girl's "background/career".. I should specify if they care about the girl's level of "success". We all wouldn't want to date any slums with no career goals or motivation to succeed I'm sure haha. So far what I'm gathering is guys do care on a girl's level of success and her drive to a certain extent, with emphasis on her looks and personality. I guess I find these guys so successful already that I felt they would judge me and felt intimidated. Like Guy 1 I mentioned.. he is so smart!!! And doing great intellectual things and going far in life. Probably has his savings for a down payment on a house. And here I am, still working.. trying to pay off student loans and credit cards debt my young self racked up Maybe still trying to figure myself out. I feel like a wreck compared to him.

@konaldDuth- haha, I thought it was only me in my traditional ways but I do prefer my guy to be more "superior" than I am. Then, I get self-conscious and kill myself over it.
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Old 01-01-2016, 02:29 PM
 
4,176 posts, read 6,333,482 times
Reputation: 1874
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlizecoo View Post
Ok, I'm going to try to make this short and to the point as possible, and I'm REALLY not trying to brag or anything so please bear with me. (You don't have to read the whole thing, just skip to the question)

About myself: mid-20's young professional, attractive, fit, grad from college with a BS and has a good career. Come from the avg middle class.. my parents has helped me through college financially but since graduating, I have been working and everything I own (which is not much) is through my own financial gains. Your typical middle class college grad.

Now, I have been talking to 2 guys whom I've met on separate occasions.

Guy 1: Early 30's, super smart.. graduated with a MS from Harvard, currently working as a Consultant FT and works with professors at Columbia University in NYC on a research work. Obviously very well-educated, makes good money, and seems so.. mature and grounded.

Guy 2: Mid-20's, very driven. Graduated from grad school and now attending Dental School in his second year. Comes from a very wealthy family background and pretty well off.

Question
Now, when it comes to girls.. or at least myself, we have a whole laundry list of what we want in a guy (well-educated, smart, successful) But my question is: Is it the same for guys? Do they judge a girl on her background, where she came from, etc. Or does it not matter as long as she is caring, good head on her shoulders, etc.


Now that I have found it, I can't help but to feel.. intimidated? Like if they see my parents living in an avg house in an avg neighborhood, they won't think I'm good enough? As bad as that sounds.. it's something that has been on my mind. I also feel kind of embarassed, even though I shouldn't! I'm usually very confident and have been putting that front up around them.

So just in general.. what do guys look for in a girl.. is it the same thing girls look for in a guy? Because our list goes from looks to brains to money to work to etc


Also, please do not think I am talking to these guys just because they are successful or well off.. it just so happen it turned out that way
I'd say mens' criteria is less complex than womens' criteria. That's one reason men tend to catch feelings sooner in the relationship process than women. It's not the only factor, but a woman's looks go a long way towards attracting men. If you're nice looking (which sounds like the case), you've already gotten off to a very good start. Additional features would be personality, how fun the girl is to be around, how adept or inept she is socially, etc. For me, a girl's education, income, and related factors aren't quite as high on the list but are considered as well.

With respect to coming from a good family, etc., that part is considered. It's not so much that she must come from a wealthy family (most people don't -- and that's OK). That said, her family's history with respect to relationships, divorces, children out of wedlock, etc. is worth knowing (to me). In the sense that past is prologue, it would raise a red flag with me if her family had a history of many such events. It wouldn't be a deal breaker per se, but these are not things that would be forgotten.

It looks like you have many good qualities; I'd imagine a fair number of men would be interested in dating you. Don't overthink these things.
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Old 01-01-2016, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA
282 posts, read 236,140 times
Reputation: 352
In my case, a higher level of education for a woman starts to become an issue. In of itself it's attractive, but generally it's a career oriented woman and I don't want that. On the other hand I'd have no issue having a woman who's a high school graduate (less than that and I'd have to be deeply concerned).

But like others have said, there's isn't much expected of a woman. Looks are important of course, but behavior has always been huge for me. I've been very attracted to women who are less than physically appealing, but just have a certain nature (which I could describe, but won't) that really grabs my attention.

General financial literacy is important too. Or at least enough to ask me first before making major purchases. A woman that wants to spend more than a given budget is a serious deal breaker. This borrows into wealth. A girl who has a history from a wealthy family can be an issue since she likely isn't frugal in such a case.

So no, it's a lot more straightforward what I want at least.
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:01 PM
 
12,823 posts, read 24,394,193 times
Reputation: 11042
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlizecoo View Post
Ok, I'm going to try to make this short and to the point as possible, and I'm REALLY not trying to brag or anything so please bear with me. (You don't have to read the whole thing, just skip to the question)

About myself: mid-20's young professional, attractive, fit, grad from college with a BS and has a good career. Come from the avg middle class.. my parents has helped me through college financially but since graduating, I have been working and everything I own (which is not much) is through my own financial gains. Your typical middle class college grad.

Now, I have been talking to 2 guys whom I've met on separate occasions.

Guy 1: Early 30's, super smart.. graduated with a MS from Harvard, currently working as a Consultant FT and works with professors at Columbia University in NYC on a research work. Obviously very well-educated, makes good money, and seems so.. mature and grounded.

Guy 2: Mid-20's, very driven. Graduated from grad school and now attending Dental School in his second year. Comes from a very wealthy family background and pretty well off.

Question
Now, when it comes to girls.. or at least myself, we have a whole laundry list of what we want in a guy (well-educated, smart, successful) But my question is: Is it the same for guys? Do they judge a girl on her background, where she came from, etc. Or does it not matter as long as she is caring, good head on her shoulders, etc.


Now that I have found it, I can't help but to feel.. intimidated? Like if they see my parents living in an avg house in an avg neighborhood, they won't think I'm good enough? As bad as that sounds.. it's something that has been on my mind. I also feel kind of embarassed, even though I shouldn't! I'm usually very confident and have been putting that front up around them.

So just in general.. what do guys look for in a girl.. is it the same thing girls look for in a guy? Because our list goes from looks to brains to money to work to etc


Also, please do not think I am talking to these guys just because they are successful or well off.. it just so happen it turned out that way
When I was young and naive I did not care.

Now ... irony ... I do care but not the way you may be thinking ....

If I had to do it all over again I would be very hesitant to date or have a relationship with a woman from a "better" background than me. Too much pressure ...
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:07 PM
 
52 posts, read 30,651 times
Reputation: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlizecoo View Post
Thanks all for your insight

Of course when I say if a guy cares about a girl's "background/career".. I should specify if they care about the girl's level of "success". We all wouldn't want to date any slums with no career goals or motivation to succeed I'm sure haha. So far what I'm gathering is guys do care on a girl's level of success and her drive to a certain extent, with emphasis on her looks and personality. I guess I find these guys so successful already that I felt they would judge me and felt intimidated. Like Guy 1 I mentioned.. he is so smart!!! And doing great intellectual things and going far in life. Probably has his savings for a down payment on a house. And here I am, still working.. trying to pay off student loans and credit cards debt my young self racked up Maybe still trying to figure myself out. I feel like a wreck compared to him.

@konaldDuth- haha, I thought it was only me in my traditional ways but I do prefer my guy to be more "superior" than I am. Then, I get self-conscious and kill myself over it.

I'm 26, I might get close to 200K this year for income, have no debt (outside of my mortgage) and bought my first house last year.


I don't care at all what a woman makes or her background or any of that. I would date a broke college student if she was a cutie and was crazy about me. Probably the only thing I would ask for is that she's not an idiot financially. I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who likes to spend money frivolously on crap nobody need


Men are nowhere near as picky as women are.


as far as family goes, I would care that she comes from a loving and happy family. It's got nothing to do with money. I don't like to associate myself with people of poor character so that's all that would really count there.
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Old 01-04-2016, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,861,584 times
Reputation: 28563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Setchel View Post
In my case, a higher level of education for a woman starts to become an issue. In of itself it's attractive, but generally it's a career oriented woman and I don't want that. On the other hand I'd have no issue having a woman who's a high school graduate (less than that and I'd have to be deeply concerned).

But like others have said, there's isn't much expected of a woman. Looks are important of course, but behavior has always been huge for me. I've been very attracted to women who are less than physically appealing, but just have a certain nature (which I could describe, but won't) that really grabs my attention.

General financial literacy is important too. Or at least enough to ask me first before making major purchases. A woman that wants to spend more than a given budget is a serious deal breaker. This borrows into wealth. A girl who has a history from a wealthy family can be an issue since she likely isn't frugal in such a case.

So no, it's a lot more straightforward what I want at least.
It looks like you want women who will be trapped and dependent on you. No higher level education? No career? Asks you to make big financial purchases? What on earth is she supposed to do before she meets you? Spit at home living with her parents? Is this 1950?
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