Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Last night I had a 3rd date with a girl I met online about a month and a half ago. I'll give you guys a recap so far. I'm 26, and she is 22. On the first date, I took her to a nice brewery. We had a bite, then talked for a while. She is really cool to talk to. We have a lot of the same interests and laugh at each others jokes. The brewery was having a dance night, so we danced and she said she had fun. The night ended with me walking her to her car with my arm around her. No kiss. She texted me when she got home and said she had a good time.
She is the type that you would take home to mom. Good morals, family oriented, doesn't drink too much, has a job, etc. She is very sweet. We texted each other often between dates.
The second date, I took her to a nice Mexican restaurant because she said she loved tacos. Then we went bowling. Again, we both had a good time. I would touch her playfully throughout the night, she was reciprocating the touches. I walked her to her car and told her I enjoy being around her, then I kissed her. The kiss was pretty quick, no tongue. She kind of pulled her head back quickly to end it. It was like a 2 second peck. I kissed her twice. Again, she texted me to see if I got home ok.
Last night, I took her to see the new Star Wars. We hugged when we met. In the theatre after about 30 minutes, I held her hand. She rubbed my hand on and off. After the movie we went to Walmart and walked around and talked. Then we got dinner at a wing place. When I was leaving, I asked her if she was free Saturday, she said yes. I leaned in for a kiss and she kissed me very similarly to the kiss from the second date. Short peck, then pulled her head back about 6 inches. I again tried, but the same. She mentioned my breath smelled like gum (I popped a gumball after I ate). She told me before that she is kind of a germophobe. I don't know if that is a reason why she doesn't want to kiss me better or what.
What do y'all think? I like this girl a lot, and I think she feels the same, but I'm wondering why she seems like she doesn't want to kiss me?
She may be hesitant about the amount of attraction.
The germaphobe comment is a red flag, I gotta admit. It's like she's warning you that she doesn't get into kissing or something.
You can't force it. If you like being with her, keep moving forward and building the bond between you. I mean, don't actually picture taking her home to mom, but give yourselves a chance to build something between you. Ignore the chest-thumpers who inevitably will show up and tell you to blow her off since she didn't sleep with you after the movie.
Some people need time to build intimacy. That's just how it is.
She told me that she used to be a germophobe, i.e. 3 showers a day. I definitely can see she is kind of a clean freak. As for the attraction, I don't make a ton of moves to begin with. I want her to know that I'm into her. I thought about trying to kiss her early on in the date to ease things up. She reciprocates the touches/rubs, so I try to escalate, but I'm unsure because of the kiss. I've never been with someone not into kissing. Should I talk to her about the kiss, or just ignore it?
Who doesn't like the taste of gum? She seems kind of weird but I wouldn't give up on her just yet. If she was holding your hand during the movie then I doubt she's grossed out by you so maybe she's just a bit shy when it comes to kissing. Maybe next time before you go in for a kiss ask her if it's okay if you kiss her. If she still won't kiss you I would probably end it.
eta: I shower 3 to 4 times a day and I love kissing.
She told me that she used to be a germophobe, i.e. 3 showers a day. I definitely can see she is kind of a clean freak. As for the attraction, I don't make a ton of moves to begin with. I want her to know that I'm into her. I thought about trying to kiss her early on in the date to ease things up. She reciprocates the touches/rubs, so I try to escalate, but I'm unsure because of the kiss. I've never been with someone not into kissing. Should I talk to her about the kiss, or just ignore it?
I wouldn't talk about it yet.
Build the attraction through touch, hugging, and ... Caressing, but put off more kissing. Make her WANT to kiss, you know? Because she's so turned on by the other stuff you're doing that I can specify here.
If you want to talk to her about something, talk about "used to be" a germaphobe and what that means. 3 showers a day???????
She's not in love with you, OP, she's just getting to know you. If/when she falls for you and things heat up, you'll undoubtedly experience some serious kissing and more. You were expecting tongue on the 2nd date? If you're dating to make out, she's not your type. You said you liked her because she was sweet, had good morals and was family-oriented. But you're surprised and disappointed about "no tongue" and short pecks for kisses? Do you see the contradiction there? If you want someone who lunges at you, you need to look for a different type of girl.
But i wouldn't ask permission to kiss her. If you feel like kissing her, go for it. When she backs off, you back off. Let her get attracted to the point where she whats to kiss you.
And definitively don't bring it up. That makes it sound that you are hurt that she doesn't kiss you better. It will make her more self conscious if you bring it up and it brings more awkwardness into the situation. Just keep escalating, touching, etc, and if she likes you she will start kissing you more passionately.
Build the attraction through touch, hugging, and ... Caressing, but put off more kissing. Make her WANT to kiss, you know? Because she's so turned on by the other stuff you're doing that I can specify here.
.
This. Kisses are not gratuities, like the free after-dinner mints you get at some restaurants. They're an intimate act. The kind of woman you say you're looking for usually needs to feel some special attraction to a guy after getting to know him before a level of intimacy kicks in.
The gum was spearmint so I don't think my breath was bad.
I don't feel like she is OCD. When we went to eat, she ordered boneless wings because she said she doesn't like sauce on her hands. She broke her fork and sauce got on her hands but she finished eating before washing them. Also, when we were looking at the fish in walmart, she touched the glass and got water on her hands, she semi freaked out, she was more worried about the smell, luckily there was a sink next to the tank.
I just don't really want to be in the position where I only try to kiss her at the end of the night. I feel like it's unnecessary pressure. Any ideas how I can change this? Perhaps a certain type of date would make it easier.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
