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I was a military wife - and the last thing somebody in combat needs is a dramatic wife, throwing tantrums at home. You are too much drama and distracting for him to be able to concentrate on his job. Military guys need to be able to trust that things at home are going smooth. Meaning, they need a CALM, responsible person who has their back and takes care of the home and kids, and sends them sweet emails.
Not a drunk texting baby mama, posting cute pics on social media for attention. He is not gonna take a girl like that seriously where he always has to worry what she is going to do next. He will slide in and out of you and then marry a "good" girl.
I am a good girl though. I have my life way more together than the ghetto girls he has talked to in the past. He even said he was impressed that I have a degree... like I can be calm and smooth and I am obviously responsible. I send him sweet texts. We just used to talk every single day now we don't talk at all.
Why not party a few years longer and wait with the marriage and babies? You guys are SO YOUNG, enjoy and embrace that time, you are only young ONCE!
I'm 25 years old.
I only went out because I was celebrating my birthday with my friend. I don't need to party. I don't even like it that much I don't even need to drink or anything.
True. I just think he can provide the lifestyle I want so much. Maybe he won't be a player when he is back and when he sees that I am a good catch. I mean the women he talks to are so ghetto and like just... blah but I'm not ghetto I have my education going, I would be a good wife and mother sooner rather than later... I feel like he should want me.
I get your point. Been there, done that.
But, you cannot MAKE anybody want you even if YOU know you would be the best wife for him. It just doesn't work that way, unfortunately.
He was drunk (slightly) when he went out with me lol. He described to me how good his drunk driving skills were lol so I mean he has his flaws too. I understand though I just wanted him to answer and talk to me and he didn't. He said he hates texting but still.
I hate when this happens but ok now I am going to be nice now.... sheesh I have a soft spot for people...
Anyway, I totally get you. I said what I said and it is true. However, it doesn't mean you can't change. Military dudes are not that calm and stable themselves. Many have a lot of issues that most people can't understand. Even if they haven't been to war, separation from the military can be a real disruption. Also, be mindful that his separation will take getting used to because civilian vs military is sooooooo much different and some people can't adjust. He may even go back or enlist in the reserves in order to fulfill that void.
The real truth Gab is that you are out of sight, out of mind for him. You are going to have to stay calm, relax, and wait for it to happen. It may not happen.
I don't like the "how good his drunk driving skills" part. It actually doesn't sit well with me at all. There are so many factors but the both of you seem to be strung out when together but like I said, out of sight out of mind.
Don't think for one sec that I am giving him a pass. Like I said before, he may very well have his own issues. But also understand that his career is his lifestyle and priority. Plus, the distance you share coupled with the brief encounter may also very well be a fog in air.
Just don't be so eager, you have so much more than a boy.
So, you have impressed him and have made your contacts. Sit and wait. If if doesn't happen, you know what to do chica!
So I have done this before... quite a few times actually. Each time was difficult... So basically I met this guy a year ago and we talked for like 3 months but he knew he wasn't getting out until late 2016 and didn't want to waste my time. Of course I was sad but I moved on so I started dating my ex and he contacted me but I avoided him because I had a bf. Anyways obviously my bf and I broke up and he and I (the military guy) met this week and we talked about the break up and he seemed super interested in me. We kissed a lot and stuff and he asked if I think I could wait until he's back. But now he's being weird lIke maybe I'm over thinking but I want him to say he likes me and be upfront and tell me. I know he wants a family as soon as he is out but idk he seems like a player. Idk I just want answers but I feel like I already texted him way too much and I'm now annoying and idk I want us to be how we were when we talked all the time and he was so into me. What do I do? Would I be dumb to wait for him?
Bottom line: He's getting OUT, so you are NOT going to be the military wife or have the military life style.
MOST LIKELY, he will be a struggling person who is looking for a job in this struggling economy. I am sorry to sound harsh, but from your description, this person doesn't seem to have the maturity to start a family "as soon as he gets out."
What is his MOS? Has he seen combat? If he has, does he have temporary or permanent service related mental or physical illnesses? These are all important questions if you are serious about this person.
It seems like the relationship is all about flirting and sexual tension, I would not think about start a family with this person if I were you.
Bottom line: He's getting OUT, so you are NOT going to be the military wife or have the military life style.
MOST LIKELY, he will be a struggling person who is looking for a job in this struggling economy. I am sorry to sound harsh, but from your description, this person doesn't seem to have the maturity to start a family "as soon as he gets out."
What is his MOS? Has he seen combat? If he has, does he have temporary or permanent service related mental or physical illnesses? These are all important questions if you are serious about this person.
It seems like the relationship is all about flirting and sexual tension, I would not think about start a family with this person if I were you.
Best of luck.
I don't know what MOS means. He was infantry so yeah he's seen combat. He does have physical issues and has had a few surgeries and will need more in the future. I have CP though so I have walking issues too. We have never gone in depth about the mental but he has said "I'm just f'ed up" so I do foresee PTSD issues he's eluded to a lot of sleep issues related to it.
Bottom line: He's getting OUT, so you are NOT going to be the military wife or have the military life style.
MOST LIKELY, he will be a struggling person who is looking for a job in this struggling economy. I am sorry to sound harsh, but from your description, this person doesn't seem to have the maturity to start a family "as soon as he gets out."
What is his MOS? Has he seen combat? If he has, does he have temporary or permanent service related mental or physical illnesses? These are all important questions if you are serious about this person.
It seems like the relationship is all about flirting and sexual tension, I would not think about start a family with this person if I were you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
But do you want marriage and babies with him, or marriage and babies in general?
In general, she doesn't really know him
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I have a soft spot for people...
