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Old 01-02-2016, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Denver and Boston
2,071 posts, read 2,198,242 times
Reputation: 3831

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It was only a short period of time, so it isn't like you are entitled to anything, but I understand you wanting to know. Possiblities:
1. Someone other guy .
2. There is an issue where one of the two of you wants children but the other does not (or can not)
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Old 01-02-2016, 07:10 PM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,108,914 times
Reputation: 4004
It could be that you may have unknowingly triggered a bad memory for her and she didn't want to go into detail about it.

I once met a guy who reminded me of one of my ex's whom I can't stand and don't want to think about. He had such similar mannerisms and speaking style that I realized it was almost like going back in time and reliving that horrible time. I wasn't mean about it but I told the guy that it wasn't working for me. I knew it would never work out being constantly reminded of that ex of mine. And it wasn't anything that I would be able to tell him that he could change about himself because it was just how he was. So rather than go down that road, I said thanks and bye.

It's possible that something similar might have happened here in your case.
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Old 01-03-2016, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
521 posts, read 518,187 times
Reputation: 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by cbus2016 View Post
I realize it has only been a week but understand that this has been feelings I had for about 4 years now and it isn't like I met her and went out with for a week and it ended. She never told me why, I have no closure. There were 670 texts between the both of us in 7 days, she initiated 60% of the texts. I swear if I sent everything into Dr. Phil he might think she isn't all there.
You 2 went out for a week and she decided to move on with no reason given. It happens. That's life. She didn't even "friend zone" you. Maybe she met someone else who sparked her interest. At any rate she's gone. You don't need closure. You went out with her for 1 week. It's time to move on.
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Old 01-03-2016, 02:20 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,976,196 times
Reputation: 46662
Closure is a concept that really doesn't exist outside a therapist's office.
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Flahrida
6,279 posts, read 4,789,775 times
Reputation: 7415
What happened between the 4 years you met her and the 2 months ago you started dating? I have experienced this type of behavior and trying to pursue her or help her get over the abuse she suffered before can be an exercise in futility. If she is not interested then leave it at that and move on. Maybe someday she will get over this but you don't want to waste your life waiting for something that may or may not happen and can reoccur at any time. Unless you are in Antarctica and there are no other women for 500 miles the best thing is to move on with your life and wish her the best. I tried this once with a woman who was a little "out of it" and I met her 40 years later and she is still the same.
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Old 01-03-2016, 05:59 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,263,892 times
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This is very easy for women to pinpoint, they just don't always know how. I had this happen to me back in the later part of 2014. How this happens is a woman, or even a man for that matter, has an idea of the type of person they want to end up with. Many women want to date someone like their father, just as long as he isn't fatherly with her.

In my particular situation over a year ago, she hadn't had much luck finding a guy that was what she envisioned. So she stepped outside her comfort zone and dated me. Her first black guy to date and be intimate with, along with dating someone that her mother strongly disapproved of. Never got to the stage of deciding if she was racist or just prejudice.

Anyways, we dated on two different occasions in the late part of 2014, with the exact same outcome. Even though I was a decent guy, I just wasn't the guy she envisioned herself with. It also wasn't worth jumping hurdles to date a black male. She brought to my attention that a lot of black women were staring at her while we were out in public. I never noticed, since I've always dated white women, so I'm oblivious to it. You add up those things and it wasn't worth the hassle for her and we were in a young relationship to begin with.

She ended things the day after Christmas and went out with her now husband on New Years Day 2015. They got married this past September and are expecting their first child together in April of this year. That in a nutshell is just life sometimes. She stepped out of her comfort zone to try something different and date me, but noticed it was too different for her after all.

The man she's married to is the perfect match for her. He's everything she was looking for. In a lot of ways he's a lot like who her father was, so when they went out and it felt right, that was the end of questioning her relationships.

So granted, you may have had a really awesome time with this woman for a week, but in the end, she felt you weren't the right guy for her. This happens way more often than you may think or even want to admit too. It's a crappy feeling to be on the receiving end of those situations, but there's nothing that you can do in the end... Lick your wounds and move on.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:40 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,880,939 times
Reputation: 8594
Closure = "I need to extend the drama of ending thngs out some more".

Fast In = Fast Out.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:43 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
6,667 posts, read 5,946,105 times
Reputation: 5906
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodmockingbird View Post
She has unresolved problems from the relationship before you, and has not undertaken to get over them, such as through counseling

When you and she were approaching intimacy, it stirred up old, horrid conflicted feelings in her, and -- to put it bluntly -- she took the cowards way out rather than face her own feelings

You did nothing wrong.

She was a psychilogically injured person when you got close, and she chose to stay in her injured state rather than to undertake healing.

She was not able to feel close to anyone -- not just you.

It just was not in her to be able to be intimate.

It's her, not you. End of chapter, turn the page.

This is probably the best answer here.

Like the OP, I had this happen to me with someone I dated for about a month. We were telling everyone that we were in a relationship, talking about our future, being intimate even, and then bang: One day, I receive a text message basically telling me it's over. It really sideswiped me as I wasn't expecting it. .... And, it was pretty painful as I had grown to really care about the person. But oh well, it happens.

In retrospect, I believe these types of people are not well-versed when it comes to handling problems - whatever these may be. I remember my date telling me that they never felt loved and wanted me to show them what it's like. So I think that with these types, when the relationship progresses and you take their best interests to mind, they back off because they get frightened. They really don't know what to do or how to act so they take the fight and flight response - most likely the latter, which is much easier.

I also think that for some reason, people just don't like to be chased as it lowers your self worth somewhat.

I don't know, but that's the best explanation I have with my particular situation.
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